Episode 286: The "Hey Wait" Technique: How to Set Boundaries Like a Leader with Jay Fields

Written By Erin Diehl
 
 
 

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In the latest episode of Workday Playdate, Erin sits down with Jay Fields—somatic coach, author, and expert in emotional intelligence—to dig deep into the messy, meaningful work of self-awareness, boundary-setting, and finding your voice in both life and leadership. 

Jay brings warmth, clarity, and some serious wisdom to the conversation, weaving together themes of emotional maturity, communication, caregiving, and the quiet courage it takes to stop people-pleasing and start honoring your own needs. 

The “Hey Wait” Technique: A Pause with Power 

Jay introduces a deceptively simple but deeply effective tool called the “Hey Wait” technique. It’s a moment of pause, a breath, a checkpoint that allows you to advocate for yourself without abandoning empathy. Whether you're in a team meeting or a personal relationship, this technique helps you slow down the urge to please and speak up for what you actually need. 

People-Pleasing and the Fear of Discomfort 

Together, Jay and Erin unpack the people-pleasing pattern—where it comes from, why it sticks around, and how it often masquerades as being a “good” person. Jay sheds light on how discomfort avoidance keeps us silent, resentful, and overextended. Breaking the pattern means building emotional maturity and letting ourselves take up space, even when it feels unfamiliar. 

Boundaries That Begin With Empathy 

A major theme of the conversation is the art of setting boundaries without shutting down connection. Jay reminds us that empathy doesn’t mean self-erasure. In fact, clear, kind boundaries are often the most loving thing we can offer—to ourselves and the people we care about. When we recognize that there are two realities in every conversation—ours and theirs—we open the door to more honest, supportive relationships. 

The Invisible Load of Caregiving and Communication Overload 

Jay and Erin also explore the emotional weight many of us carry, especially caregivers and those navigating dual roles at home and work. From the unspoken responsibilities to the constant influx of messages and expectations, Jay offers validation and guidance for finding your ground again. 

They highlight how communication overload can lead to burnout—and how carving out small moments of clarity, like checking in with your own needs, is essential for mental health and sustainable leadership. 

Creating a Supportive Work Culture 

This episode doesn’t just live in the personal realm—it reaches into the workplace too. Jay speaks to the kind of culture leaders need to create: one where humans are allowed to be, well, human. It starts with self-awareness and ripples out into the way we hold space for others—especially when reality gets messy. 

Takeaways from Jay’s Wisdom 

This conversation is a gentle but firm nudge toward growth. It’s about learning how to say no without guilt, how to stay kind without abandoning yourself, and how to recognize that connection doesn’t always require agreement. 

From setting boundaries with empathy to finding the courage to say “Hey, wait, I need to say this,” this episode will leave you feeling seen—and maybe even ready to reclaim a little space of your own.

And if you’re interested in taking one small action right now, you can check out our newest freebie, The 5-Minute Team Commitment Reset here. Use this plug-and-play exercise at the start of any meeting to get your team mentally present, engaged, and committed.

No, You Hang Up First (Let’s Keep Connecting) 

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Connect with Jay Fields 

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Erin Diehl
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Snack 9: Dare to Speak Up: The Leadership Skill You’re Overlooking