Episode 105: Happy (Working) Mother's Day - Three Improv Activities You Can Use on Your Kids
improve it! Fam – You know what’s coming up? Mother’s Day! Which calls for an episode on improv activities you can use on your kids (or partner or friends!). This episode is truly beneficial for anyone, because we can’t be amazing leaders/parents without parenting ourselves!
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Show Links:
· Episode 100 – Love Letter to the improve it! Fam
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Connect with Erin Diehl:
Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 105 Transcription
Erin (00:00):
Are you a leader or change maker inside of your business, organization or corporation? Are you looking for new, innovative ways to drive morale through the roof? Are you looking for fun and exciting icebreakers, team building exercises and activities that will foster team growth, friendships, loyalty, and completely transform your organization from the inside out? Have you been searching for a fun and unique way to create change instead of the same old, dry, boring leadership books and ice breakers that aren't actually working? Hi, I'm Erin Diehl, business improv entertainer, failfluencer, and professional zoombie who is ready to help you improve it. My mission in life is to help you develop teams and leaders through play, improv and experiential learning. In this podcast, we will deep dive into professional development team building, effective communication, networking, presentation skills, leadership training, how to think more quickly on your feet and everything in between. We have helped everyone from fortune 500 companies to small mom and pop shops transform their business, their leadership, and their people through play. So grab your chicken hat. We are about to have some fun, welcome to improve it! The podcast.
Erin (01:35):
We family, what, what, what I got on my family with me? Hello, to be soon differently named improve it! Family. It's Erin. Thank you for hititng play on today's show. If you are new to the show welcome, welcome, welcome. If you're a longtime listener, welcome back and know that we are in the process of changing the name of our audience. So we've been called the improve it! Family for quite some time, about 40 episodes to be exact. And that name is soon changing. So I know you're on the edge of your seats waiting for that reveal. It will be coming soon. Hold tight, stay strong. You can do it, but I'm so excited that you're here with me today. Now the title of today's show may be a bit deceiving. It is geared toward the working parent. However, I am a firm believer that we must parent ourselves before we can parent our teams before we can at children before we can parent four-legged children. So even if you don't have a two-legged child and you are listening to this show know that you'll find value and you are going to take something away from this as well. I also want to just say that the title is happy working mother's day. It's not just for moms. Although I would like to shout out to all the moms out there.
Erin (03:16):
I see you. I am you. I feel you on so many levels because we're getting into this beautiful month of may. Mother's day is coming up. We wanna celebrate that. And I wanna start by first just saying little housekeeping item. We have a newsletter that is jam packed with podcast episodes, things we have coming up at improve it. So if you have not yet signed up for our newsletter, do so, go to our website, you'll find it on there. It'll be a popup box. You can just put in your email that way you get all the goods. You get the 411. You're like a cool mom, as they say on mean girls. So put your email in, let us pop in your info once a week and share with you all of the great things we have coming your way at improve it. But I wanna start off with this episode with a quote I saw on Instagram, you know, the most credible source in the world, but it was hilarious. It was actually from ESPN and it was a tweet and it said no, something that isn't an Olympic sport, but feels like an Olympic sport. And the answer being a working mother. Now, again, if you're not a parent, please stay tuned. Keep listening because these things can apply these awesome activities and, and rules that I'm gonna give. You can apply to your life. But I also want to really give some love and some light to the working mothers of the world.
Erin (04:52):
I see you. I see you real hard. I don't even need bifocals or contact lenses. I see you. I see working mothers. I do not see dead people anyway. That's you know where I was going with that from that show, the sixth sense movie, whatever. Okay. Anyway, I see you. You're a working mother. You might work from home. You have what I like to call the two second commute from your room and an office space in your home to becoming a parent every day. That is my life. I literally leave my office in approximately two seconds. After thinking of budgets, content recording an episode, I'm automatically a mother. I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's actually a real luxury and I'm very grateful, but it's still difficult. Our brain has to switch on and onto something completely different. In a matter of seconds, I see the working parent who's racing from work to pick up their kid from childcare or from school, taking a call in the car right before you pick up the kid just to quickly switch gears into how was your day, what happened at school?
Erin (06:02):
Show me your artwork. I see you, the working parent who is staying up after you put the kids to sleep, to finish emails or keep going on that slide deck. And I see all of the amazing working parents who were teaching, were parenting and were also working on zoom over the past two years. And you might still be doing that at this very moment. And I also saw something recently that I thought was really applicable to this episode. And I can't remember where I saw this, but it really resonated with me. And it said, if you have employees or team members that have children, they are literally paying to be at work. Let that sink in. If you have children who are in childcare or who are in daycare or in a private school, you are literally paying to be at work or that employee and team member is literally paying to be at work.
Erin (07:12):
It is not easy. And especially over the past couple of years, all of us who do have to, who are in school or under our care, had to really evolve and had to really be creative and improvise, dare I say, improvise through this pandemic. We were able to pivot on a dime and figure out how to get them in virtual school. We've been able to get them back in school with masks, without masks. It's been such an evolving, evolving process. And it's forever changing in our way that we see work. And the way that we see parenting, I think will forever be changed.
Erin (07:58):
It's not easy, and we should give each other the grace, right? And then give it to ourselves. I feel really grateful that I have moved to Charleston. As you know, South Carolina. If you don't know, that's where I'm coming to you live from my podcasting closet. And I've been able to find this amazing group of women who are moms. Our children are around the same age. We are our neighbors, and we're just able to lean on each other for support. We're able to see each other in the good and in the messy. And I feel so blessed and so lucky to have found that.
Erin (08:41):
And I think that if we see somebody who thinks that they have it all together, we need to realize that that's an illusion and they want you to think that I don't have it all together. I'm gonna be, you know, keeping it real deal over here. I have really good days. And I have days where I'm just like, let me just get through this. I am so tired. I need like something to pin my eyeballs open because I could fall asleep at any moment, but we make it work. We make it work because it matters. Our work matters. Our family matters. And those two things can exist in the same way. So we lean on our, our friends. We lean on our inner selves to tell us that we've got this and then lean on the tools that we have in our tool belt and lucky for you, who I am coming to.
Erin (09:43):
You live as Tanya, the tool, woman Taylor. I remember Tim the tool anyway, you know, where I've really nailed it in the show with my, my movie callbacks and my, my television callbacks. But I have got some tools for you and I have three improv based activities that you can use to help parent be the amazing working parent that you are. And just give you some extra, extra tools to use in your tool belt that are fun, that are innovative, and that allow your child and you to thrive. So let me start with just three rules that we impart in the deal household. Okay, now I'm gonna caveat this. I have read a book since before Jackson was born called moms on call this book. We will link to it in the show notes. I feel like every doctor should give to a new mother going home from the hospital.
Erin (10:51):
Here's how I know it works. When I was staying with a friend of mine before I ever had a child, I barely heard her child because it was like 7:00 PM. When we got there, she slept the entire night. And I said, what, how does this work? Cause she was like eight months old. Mom's on call was the answer mom's on call, gave me the sleep training, gave me the sort of fundamentals of eating, sleeping, all of that. And so I don't don't hate me for this, but I will tell you, it's not me. It's mom's on call. Jackson was sleeping through the night at eight weeks. So I have lived by these fundamentals. I have lived by the schedules that they have provided. I'm a scheduled person that works for me. So I'm just giving you that little, little tool right there. If you're a new parent or, you know, somebody who's a new parent is something to consider.
Erin (11:48):
But that book has been with us since he was born. He is now two and a half, almost three, and they have toddler book. So anyway, we've used their zero to six month, six to like 24 month and then their toddler book. And a lot of these, these three rules actually are from the book, the toddler book. So I've adapted these for our home. They're a little bit too different in the book, but this is the three rules that Jackson knows to be true. Number one, you must listen to mom and dad or your parents, whoever it is, listen to your parents. Listen, that's number one, number two, be kind to others. And number three, be kind to yourself. There are so many rules. I feel, especially for toddlers, don't touch this. Don't do that. Don't eat. Don't put that thing up. Your nose hole, stop picking your boogers.
Erin (12:45):
Like you know, all of these things that we're telling them to constantly stop doing. Whereas if we can just give them these three rules, they encompass all of it, right? Listen to your parents, be kind to others, be kind to yourself. So from these rules, I wanna give you some improv based activities that you can use with your children. Now I have a toddler. Some of you listening may not have small children. Your children might be older. Also some of you listening may not have children. So I want you to listen to these activities and adapt them, okay, for wherever you're at in your life rule. Number one, listen. Right? So listening is just a life skill. It starts when we're young, but I wanna give you an activity that will work as long as your child can talk. These things will work. All right.
Erin (13:39):
So the first one is called last letter word, and this is a tried and true improv game. We use it in one of our workshops in particular, our effective communication workshop. And it's an, a awesome game that can be played with two people. All right? So it's you and your child. And one of you is just going to say, and this is what I want you to do. I want you to set it up with your child. Like, Hey, I just listened to this. Awesome. I'm laughing because I want you to say that this awesome podcast and I got some new games so we can play you on a try. Don't tell them it's about listening. Just play the game. It's called last word response. So you're gonna say a sentence, any sentence at all. And you're gonna ask your child to listen for that last word that you say.
Erin (14:31):
So for example, I could say today, I bought a new pair of headphones. The last word that I said was headphones. Now your child's gonna use headphones, your last word to start their sentence. So they could say something like headphones are awesome. I love the ones that have really fun colors. And then their last word was colors. So you would use that last word to start your sentence colors make up the rainbow. And I saw the most beautiful rainbow last night. And then they might say night is my favorite time of day because I get to spend it with you. What, what a dream? What a dream. Jackson, I hope you're listening. Pun intended. Oh my gosh. All right. So that activity can go on forever. It could be short. It could be five minutes, have fun with it. Enjoy your child. Let it be a fun time where you both laugh and are silly.
Erin (15:36):
It's kind of a fun dinner table game. And we've actually done this with Jackson and he's like I said, two and a half shocking to everybody. He is very verbal. But it's a really interesting way to allow them to be present. It actually allows both you and your child to really listen and listen for that last word. You can't preplan. You can't overthink. And if this is too hard of a game, because they're younger, you could just say a sentence and say, what was the last word mommy said. Okay. So what it really does is like I said, it helps them be present. It helps them not think ahead. It does the same actually for you to pay rent. Isn't that crazy? Isn't it crazy how much our children teach us. Right? So ask them too once the game gets going, how does listening make you feel and talk about with them when, how they listen?
Erin (16:44):
When they listen? Well, makes you feel so good and they should feel so good when they're giving good listening, because they're making the person on the receiving end feel good. It is their super power. They have the ability by listening to go into these other two rules, which is be kind to others and be kind to yourself. So last letter word is the first activity. I wanna give you in your improv toolkit to help you with your children, play it at dinner, play it on road trips, play it when you're just going on a walk and you need something to talk about. It's a good reminder for us as parents as well. I, I do you know, obviously this work all day long and I'll tell you what I mean, it is hard at the end of a day, especially if I'm doing a ton of podcasting or facilitating to just give and really be attentive.
Erin (17:50):
So this forced activity is a reminder to ourselves that not only do we want our children to listen, but we want to be able to listen to them as well and give that same energy back. Now, if you're listening to this show and you, again, you're not a parent, use this with your friends, use this with your partner, use this with your parents, take this, run with it. Another fun thing is, you know, you could go. I, I have a good friend of mine who was really into party games at dinner parties. This is a fun one to throw in the mix. It just sets the tone right away that we're gonna be here. This is a safe space. We're gonna give each other time to talk and we're gonna give each other time to listen. So following rule, number one, that is your first improv based activity.
Erin (18:47):
Listening, losing last letter word, all right, skips me two. Number two, be kind to others. Rule number two. And again, this is coming from my household. So take these rules, apply them. However you see fit, but be kind to others is just a universal rule to me. I wanna make sure if Jackson is taught anything in the world, it is that he is kind, he is so kind. So this activity is something I think I've talked about on the show before I'm gonna refresh it. And I also wanna give you some tools on how to use it with your family. So let's talk empathy. Okay? We all know what empathy is. Empathy is a very big buzz word in corporate America right now, but it should be a buzz word. It should be a buzzword everywhere, putting ourselves in the other person's shoes. So here's how it works.
Erin (19:44):
Ask your child to tell you about their day. That's it. You do it anyway. Ask them to tell you about their day. Now, preferable is that you are sitting across from each other and you're making eye contact. So you're sitting close to them or they could be sitting in your lap. If you want that cut. I'll do a little cuddle. So ask 'em about their day. Now here's your job. You are literally listening because you are then going to repeat back to your child. Exactly what they said in first person. So let's say, Jackson says, mom, I'm gonna do my Jackson voice. It's it's just too good. I gotta do it. So I say, Jackson, how was your day, mommy? It was we good. We went with, to the park and then we went to ponds and we fed the total. Okay. That was everybody.
Erin (20:48):
So as the listener of this game and playing the game empathy with Jackson, I would say, okay, today I went to the park. I played with Leo. We went to the pond and we fed some turtles to, or we fed some bread to the turtle sea. I even mess up the thing at just made up. So now what I did was I repeated it back as if I was him. So I'm actually, when I was doing that, I had a visual picture of him going to the park, him feeding the turtles. So it was kind of nice. Now we take this a step further and you ask your child, how do you feel about your day? So then they'll back or they'll tell you how they feel about their day. I'll do a Jackson impression for you. Again, just it's fun for me too, mommy.
Erin (21:35):
I was, I had a lot of fun. I felt really happy when you came home from work and then I would repeat it back. I had a lot of fun and I felt really happy when you came home from work work. So right there, I am taking in that feeling. Wow. He is two and a half. I am his world. He was so happy when I got back from work in my mind to me, I go, wow, I need to show up better. I need to be better. I need to show up with more energy, but no, than I take a step back. And I'm like, that's okay. This is how you're showing up right now. And everything is perfect. The way that you are right here right now is perfect. But just me internalizing what he said and saying it back in first person really put myself in his shoes, those cute little size, seven and a half fate.
Erin (22:31):
So try this exercise with your child. And if they're older, again, set it up. Like I've got a fun game. I just wanna tell you about, I want you to tell me about your day and I'm gonna repeat it back to you and just allow that to sink in. And then if they're old enough, have them do the same to you. So tell them about your day and then they'll repeat it back in first person and ask them questions. What was that like to repeat it back to me as me and that can really be an aha moment for them. They may realize that you have a commute again. They may realize what it's like to be a little stressed at work. And that's why mommy comes home a little distracted. They may realize what it's like to step into your shoes. This game is so effective in communication.
Erin (23:30):
We use it in variety of ways and improve it again. We have 10 different power or skill workshops that we train people on using improv based activities. But this is a universal game because empathy is so try this, that applies to rule number two, which is be kind to others. Then we get into rule number three, which is be kind to yourself. So what I wanna even mention here is when I was role playing empathy, like I was, I was Jackson deal doing the role play is empathy. And I was repeating back what he said. I even caught myself realizing I wasn't being kind to myself. I was like, oh, I wish I was showing up better. No, we have to be kind to ourselves as parents because we're teaching our children how to be kind to themselves. The way that we talk to ourselves matters so so much. I had a friend of mine, actually. It was my mother. So let me shout out to Janice. Okay. My mother said to me, this was about a week ago. I was really down on myself. I can't remember exactly what it was, but she said, Erin, would you tell the improve it! Family that, what advice would you give them? And I said, okay, mom, you are, you know, you're right. We have to parent ourselves. And we have to show ourselves so much love and appreciate ourselves because the way that we feel about us trickles down to the way that our children think about themselves. And it also trickles down to how we show up in the world. So I got a game for you here and it's a, it's a good one. It's a good one. Again, universal. Don't have to have kids to do this same with the last one, empathy.
Erin (25:31):
This can work on anybody. This could work on a spouse. This could work on a partner. This could work on a friend. So try these out. Even if you are not a parent with a two-legged child, try them out. Okay? So this game in regards to the third rule, being kind to yourself is called the appreciation game. And this is what you're gonna do. You're asking your child, I love this dinner table game. All right. So every night at dinner we say to Jackson, what are you grateful for? And he'll ask, actually now he asks us, what are you grateful for? And we share the things of that day that we're grateful for. And sometimes, you know, he's like, I'm grateful for a plants cuz he is looking at a plant and that's fine. But at least he's thinking about it, right? So the appreciation game goes like this.
Erin (26:20):
You have to say as many things as you can, that you were grateful for. And you're saying this to yourself. So I want you to tell your child, tell yourself, thank you and give yourself several things that you're thankful for. So I'm Jackson, just, I'm just gonna keep rolling with this. It's really fun for me. All right. Thank you. Thank you for allowing me this fun time. Thank you for time with mommy. Thank you for this fork. Thank you for this salmon. Thank you for this place mat. Thank you for my friends. Thank you for playing outside. Thank you for my wagon. Thank you for big Z. So it may not be things about himself, but it's things that he is seeing around him that he is grateful for. Then you can amplify it so you don't have to use the word. I'm thankful for it be I'm grateful for.
Erin (27:15):
I appreciate, but you just have them list out things that they love about themself, where they are in that moment. I said salmon, believe it or not. That is his favorite favorite food salmon. Okay. So if we're eating salmon, he'll be like, I'm grateful for salmon, but I want you to really think about how you can do this. Not only with your child and have them play the game, but how you can do this to yourself. Now I have had asked you a couple of times, a couple episodes ago with Chris do to write a letter to you. And if you did not hear that episode, I wanna encourage you to go back it's episode 1 0 2, listen to that because it's all about valuing yourself. So you can communicate that value to others. But I want you to put this game, play this appreciation game with your family, have them say bajillion things that they're grateful for and have it keep going.
Erin (28:14):
And then you can turn it on each other. So you're using that role. Be kind to yourself. You're giving yourself that love, but you can say I'm gonna play the appreciation game to you and give that child things that you appreciate about them. So they're hearing how wonderful and great they are. So they feel loved and supported and then they can get that love back to themselves and to others. It's this reciprocal magnetic effect. That is so beautiful. So these three rules, listen to your parents, be kind to others, be kind to yourself. I have given you three amazing improv based activities that I know are tried and true. And again, if you are not a parent, use these with anyone in your life. These are universal and amazing tools that you can have in your tool belt. Mind yourself, how amazing you are.
Erin (29:10):
Now I wanna play an appreciation game and I have written you a love letter to my beautiful family. So again, I'm gonna keep calling back some episodes here. Episode 100 of this show is a love letter to you. So if you really wanna know how I truly feel my deepest star, love secrets about you check out episode 100, but I'm gonna give you some love. Love, love, love, love right now to end this show because I want to let you see how this appreciation game can not only help you be kind to you, but it could help you be kind to others. And it actually is kind of in this realm of listening because I've listened to what you need and want so much that I feel like I know who you are. So it trickles in all of those things. I am so grateful for you showing up here.
Erin (29:57):
I'm so grateful for the amazing leader that you are, the amazing parent to whoever it may be in your life that you are. I am so grateful that you show up and wanna improve yourself. I'm so grateful that you care about the people that you lead. I'm so grateful that you care for the organizations that you are a part of. I'm so grateful that you show up and want to better yourself week after week. I'm so grateful that you make this world a better place. I'm so grateful that you are a people leader, cause we need more people advocates in this world. I'm so grateful for your empathy. I'm so grateful that you care about yourself and your mental health and your mental wellbeing. I'm so grateful that you have chosen to parent yourself first so that you can be the amazing leader, parent human being that you are here on this earth.
Erin (30:57):
I could go on and on. I mean that was just shooting from the hip y'all I got, I got lots. I got hips up for days and I could keep hitting you up because that's how much I appreciate you. That's how much I want you to appreciate yourself. Here's my ask. I'm gonna ask you to do something. If you know a people leader or you know, a working parent who needs to hear today's, so please share it with them. Please give them these tools. Give them these tools. Especially if you think somebody needs to hear about themselves, let them know how amazing they are. And here's a great way to say that. I listened to this episode. I've been listening to this show for a long time, but today's episode really stuck with me and it talks about how wonderful we should be to ourselves, how we should parent ourselves first.
Erin (31:49):
And I just want you to know, I think you are a wonderful human being and give them the show link. All right, that's all I want you to do. Pass it on. Pass on laughter, levity and positivity to your children, to your teams and to you. We can't be amazing leaders and parents without parenting ourselves. We just cannot. We just cannot. So keep loving the amazing, wonderful, fantastic human being. That is you keep failing, keep improving because the world needs that special. It let, let me tell you only you can bring, I appreciate you. I'm grateful and I thank you. I'll see you next time. Hey friends, thanks for tuning in to improve it. I am so happy you were along for the ride. If you enjoyed this show, head on over to iTunes to leave us a five star review and subscribe to this show. So you never miss an episode. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Now, if you're really feeling today's show and you've improved it even just a little bit, please take a screenshot and tag me at keeping it real deal on Instagram and share it in your stories. I'll see you next week, but I wanna leave you with this thought, what did you improve today and how will that help your future successful self? Think about it. I am rooting for you and the world needs that special. It that only you can bring see you next time.