Episode 135: The Key to Empowering Emerging Leaders with Tori Niemann, Assistant Athletic Director, Clemson University
Another Wednesday, another brand ๐ป๐ฒ๐ ๐ถ๐บ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐ถ๐! ๐ฝ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ! Join us in todayโs conversation with Tori Niemann telling us the key to empowering emerging leaders. ๐
As the Assistant Athletic Director at Clemson University, Toriโs an expert in empathetic leadership, collaboration, time management, and using your voice to continue the conversation in each space you enter into.
About Tori: Tori Niemann has spent her professional career serving student-athletes at the collegiate level. She currently serves as the Assistant Athletic Director for Student-Athlete Development at Clemson University and self-proclaims that she has the best job in the country. Each day she gets to serve 18โ23-year-old humans that just so happen to be pretty good at their sport. She played Division I basketball at Western Illinois University but has found herself in the south since 2017 with previous stops at the University of North Carolina on staff with the womenโs basketball team and a prior stint at Clemson University.
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Niemann primarily focuses on leadership development for student-athletes, running the three-year Tiger Leadership Academy and last year launched POWER, a womenโs leadership academy.
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Niemann graduated from WIU in 2013 with a bachelorโs degree in journalism and earned a masterโs degree in sport management in 2015.
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Connect with Tori Niemann:
Twitter: @toriniemann
Instagram: @ClemsonSADEV
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/niemanntori/
Connect with Erin Diehl:
Email Erin: info@learntoimproveit.com
Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief โYes, Andโ officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. Sheโs a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, โget comfortable with the uncomfortable.โ Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We canโt wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 135 Transcription
Erin (00:02):
improve it peeps. Oh my gosh, today's show is so special to me, so special. And it's not because I'm talking to one of my favorite leaders from one of my favorite places of the entire world. It's because today's episode is perfect for you. If you are a leader of a team, any team, it could be a small team, it could be a big team, or if you are somebody who aspires to be a leader, today's show is here for you. Tori is a light. She is one of the people who just cares about people. She's you. She's an improve it! peep. She's a people person. And Tori is the Assistant Athletic Director for student athlete development at Clemson. And I'll tell you what, she proclaims this and she really does. She says she has the best job in the country. And I am a graduate of Clemson University.
Erin (00:59):
If you don't know this and can attest that, it is one of the most special places in the world now. Tori has spent her entire professional career serving student athletes at the collegiate level, will talk about this in the show. And every day she gets to serve 18 to 23 Old who men that just so happened to be pretty good at their sport. She played division one basketball at Western Illinois University, but she's found herself in the south since 2017 with previous stops at UNC Chapel Hill on the staff with the women's basketball team and a prior stent at Clemson University, which we also talk about now. Tory primarily focuses on leadership development for student athletes running the three-year Tiger Leadership Academy and last year launched POWER, a Women's Leadership Academy, which we are gonna talk about so much in this show. I was lucky and honored to have the privilege to work with this program in 2022.
Erin (02:04):
One of the greatest joys of my career and of my life. So Neiman graduated from W I U in 2013 with a bachelor's degree in journalism and earned a master's degree in sport management in 2015. Today on the show you are going to hear all about empowering emerging leaders. We're gonna talk about the intention of the show, which I love so much, why Clemson is such a magical school. You'll hear all about this power program. And then she is going to give some tips and some tricks on empowering emerging leaders, what she's found challenging, what she has found successful. So grab a pen and paper for this one or just sit back and relax and let today's episode inspire you. Let's get to improving it with Tori Neiman, are you a leader searching for new and innovative ways to drive employee engagement and team morale through the roof?
Erin (03:05):
Do you wanna create a company culture where everyone feels seen, heard and valued? Hi, I'm Erin Diehl, business improv edutainer, failfluencer, and professional Zoombie who is ready to help you improve your it, your it being the thing that makes you, you think of me as your keeping it real. Professional development bestie, who is here to help you learn from your failures, stand tall in your power and improve yourself so you can improve the lives of others. Oh, and did I mention that we are improving your IT through play? That's right. I am an improvisational comedy expert who uses experiential learning to help you have your aha haha moments. Those are the moments when the light bulb goes off and you're laughing at the same time. So grab your chicken hat, your notebook, and your inner child because I'm gonna take you on a journey that is both fun and transformative. Welcome to the Improve It podcast. I'm so excited you're on the show. Welcome to the Improve It Podcast.
Tori (04:30):
Oh, thank you so much. I am so excited to be here with you.
Erin (04:33):
I'm excited to be here with you and I know you and our, we call our audience the Improve it peeps. They don't have the pleasure of knowing you yet. So I wanna start off with a fun little, a little diddy, a little game if you will, cuz you've been through an improvement workshop. You know, we like to gamify things, so it's fun. This is easy. It's called Five Facts and it goes like this. Five facts, five facts five facts, five facts five facts. And I just want you to tell me five things about you that I couldn't find in that bio of yours, which is a good one, or your LinkedIn profile or your resume. They're just fun things. What should we know about Tori? Give me five.
Tori (05:13):
Okay. well something about me. I play the piano in the harp. I've been playing piano since second grade harp since fourth grade. My grandmother taught all of her granddaughters and some of us kept playing the harp.
Erin (05:26):
What?
Tori (05:26):
So yes, I live with a six-foot-two harp in my living room right now. Like stop most average 30-year-old women of course harp community, very small in case you know that. Number two, I have a pony named Sarah and we got each other when we were five. So she also has bad knees and losing some eyesight problems as well. So we've had each other for 25 years. My pony named Sarah. Oh
Erin (05:52):
My god.
Tori (05:55):
Other fun facts. I teach yoga. It started as just a way to work out and calm the brain and I've become a teacher and I love it. I love the challenge. I broke both my wrists at the same time when I was nine years old. Tie dye, waterproof cast. But that has fed into my fear of like rollerblading, scootering bike riding. I'm not here for it, I don't like to do it. Oh gosh, I wanna something I'm not good. And I went on a 10 day trip to Ireland with my best friend this summer and got to just hang out and experience life and it was amazing. So there's five fun, random effects.
Erin (06:32):
I love this. Five fun, random effects. And I feel like you went to Ireland after our workshop together, is that right?
Tori (06:37):
I went straight from Chicago to Ireland. Another sixth fun fact. I learned the hard way to just always pack carryon. Yeah. 50-pound bag was not fun. Rolling through the streets of Galway.
Erin (06:50):
I carry on. Imagine. And you were in Chicago for quite a while and then you had to go to Ireland so that you needed a 50-pound bag. I don't know how you would've gotten a carry on with that. I dunno, since I, I wanna know, but I also didn't know you were a yoga teacher or you played the harp. I, fun fact for you. I just did goat yoga last night. Okay. How was it? It was quite honestly one of the most magical experiences. I I, I do like yoga too. I'm not, it's not my go to workout because I'm like one of those people who are like, I'm like, I like us. What? And I like to, you know, but I also appreciate it for the mindfulness aspect of it. And I was like, I'm stretching and I have so many endorphins through my body because these goats are cute and I am feeling so much happiness right now. So it was beautiful and it was at my favorite like bar like cuz I live, you know, in Charleston and it was at the bar down the street and all of my neighbors were there and it was wonderful. So I'm so excited to know these things about you. And I need a picture of this harp. We're gonna need a six foot harp, six foot
Tori (07:57):
Two, about 85 pounds. So yeah, we're just hanging out together.
Erin (08:01):
And then you had Sarah. Okay, well these are things Tori, I'm so glad I know and I wanna, I wanna have you on the show today because not only have you, not only do you have these five amazing facts about yourself that we needed to know, but you also have done so many wonderful things for emerging leaders, particularly women. And you are at my favorite place in the entire world. Clemson, which is my alma mater. I was a part of the athletic program, but it not the way everybody thinks. I was a dance, I was a rally cat dancer and I don't, I did in a varsity letter, I will say that, but we're not, like we, there's, there's some controversy. We're you an athlete? We, we were treated like athletes, but we danced. And so I gotta tell you, I'm so thrilled to a know you and b to have you on the show because I, I feel like our community is gonna learn so much from you cause you've done such a great job with the power program, which we'll get into. But I wanna set an intention for the show. What is one word that you want to give our audience today? Or you wanna just have in your, the back of your mind one word that you wanna feel,
Tori (09:16):
You know, I go to inspired, but I feel like that's kind of maybe a cliche word. So maybe motivated. Motivated feels a little more actionable for me. So motivated to go and do, I think it's easy to talk about things even on podcasts. We, we talk, we listen to other people talk and then sometimes we just turn off the podcast and it's done. Yeah. So motivated to take, I challenge all my student athletes take what we talked about outside of the room. So how do I take off the podcast? And for me too, what I say, take it off of this call.
Erin (09:44):
Yeah, I, I remember when we worked together, you were like, I want them to take this, this is what this program is about, taking it outside of the locker room and applying it. And I think that's, I wish, and I told you this when we met, I wish that that existed for me personally as a college student 20 some years ago. But also, I took one class at Clemson about business. It was a business writing class that was the most practical application of the real world that I had the entire time that I was there. And I'm so glad that these programs exist, especially the one that you've created. So we'll come to that in just a minute, but I wanna talk to you because I, I didn't know this fact until I got your, I was, you know, researching this, but you worked at Clemson and you left and then you worked at Chapel Hill and then came back to Clemson. So what drew you back to Clemson?
Tori (10:41):
I love this place too. I know it's your favorite place. It's it's mine as well. I never wanted to leave my first job here and I am from the Midwest. I'm very close to my family, so it was really hard to leave. And Clemson feels like home. And you can ask the, the staff that I used to work with, I cried every day of my last week. We used to have these morning meetings and I would like, I don't wanna leave you, but I knew I needed to to challenge myself professionally to keep growing. And so I left, never wanting to leave. And then spent two years at Chapel Hill, learned a ton, got to do some different things, was pushed and then the call came that the director job was open at Clemson and it was so hard to like, maintain composure to like get hired again.
Tori (11:25):
But I was like, I'm there, I can start tomorrow. What do you need? Come back. So it's, it's the family environment. You're supported here. I work, there's 22 people in my building. We hang out after work, we go to games together, we have holiday parties together. And that's what's important to me is that I have a community outside of my job because I also live in my office it feels like sometimes. So having the Clemson family and it, that's so cliche, but it really is a community that wraps its arms around you. And that's what's important to me.
Erin (11:54):
Oh my god, I literally, and this is a cliche thing that podcasters say, I just got chills, but I freaking did. Like, I swear to you, I'm like, I I just got gifts bumped. No, but seriously because it, there is, they always say this is a Clemson saying there's something in these hills and they're really, it is like when you step, if you, anyone you know who goes to Clemson and then I wanna hear your take on this. But for me it's like anyone you meet who went to Clemson, they understand and the people who go there have so much love and pride for the school. And I went to Clemson, I graduated in oh five, like we didn't have a national football team at the time. We weren't very, there wasn't a strong Clemson presence around the country as there is now. And when we started winning national championships and people started seeing how amazing we were, I was so proud.
Erin (12:43):
But I knew it all along and it is this vibe that you just can't explain unless you experience it or go there and come to the school. And I lived in Chicago actually when I graduated and it's as interesting the people that I met were Clemson grads. I met John, my husband because he was a Clemson grad and somebody was like, you guys should meet. And we met in Chicago but had all the same friends at Clemson and didn't know each other until Chicago. And it's because of the school. It's because, oh my gosh, you went to Clemson. You, if you know somebody who goes to Clemson, you just, you understand you have this like you're connected understanding what is, what is so magical about Clemson to you?
Tori (13:29):
I, I mean I completely agree with everything you just said. I mean my parents have visited and they love this place. They're wearing their Clemson Orange in the Midwest now. And I actually feel like I let people down. When I say I didn't graduate from Clemson, I'm like strongly considering getting a second master's just so I can get the class ring so that I can say I graduated from Clemson. But I think it's, it's a college town. There's no other distractions. Clemson University makes up Clemson the town and there's just so much support and it's a smaller school but it feels so mighty. And that's what, you know, our alumni population is pretty small in comparison to a lot of other Power five ACC schools. And so I think we just come together, we're in the south, we're in this beautiful, you know, a few hours from the beach, you can see the Blue Ridge mountains on clear days. We're on a lake. Like it doesn't get much better than that. And so the south is such a chill vibe, already moves a little slower pace than I'm prepared for some days. But it's good. And people are just so, so friendly. So it's easy to rally around the school cause there's really nothing else to do down here. So why not?
Erin (14:34):
That's for real. I remember driving back to campus when after, after I said, you know, I got my acceptance letter and I hadn't been back in a while and I, we were like driving through a bunch of corn fields and then more fields and I'm like, what, what? I forgot, I forgot this is, and then you see the tiger paw and then it just becomes this ma there's tiger paws on the actual highway coming into the school for people. Oh yeah. That
Tori (15:00):
You're gonna know where
Erin (15:01):
You're at. Yeah. And then it just, it just becomes such a magical environment if you allow it to be. And it, if when you allow it, it can wrap you up and just feel like home. So I'm so glad that you And you know what, it's okay because you, you have a more of an understanding than the school than people who've graduated from there. So you should, I think by honor get the class rank. You deserve it. Thank
Tori (15:24):
You. Thank you. If you could put that in writing and I could send that on us.
Erin (15:27):
Give me, give me this right now it's going to the president listening to the show. She needs the class needs the ring. Okay, so I wanna talk about this, the work that you're doing because you've worked with college students and athletes your entire career. What for you drew you to this population? What's so special about this population?
Tori (15:50):
Yeah, I played college basketball. I played I was a transfer student athlete. I played at Power five level. I played at the mid-major level. I had two injuries, I had two surgeries. I got my master's degree. I got both degrees for free. And I was absolutely the student athlete that had to do an internship for their grad program. I was like, what the heck do you want from me? I'm playing basketball, I'm hurt all the time. I'm in grad school and an internship and my athletic department created an internship for me and I got to try out all these different areas and I fell in love with the helping student athletes piece. And a quick side note, I had to do corporate sponsorships. I actually, a couple months ago just saw my internship supervisor and I confessed that. I used to do all the cold calls at lunchtime, like 1205 to 1255 and I would leave her number instead of mine. And one day she was like, why are all these businesses calling me? I'm like, they probably just wanna talk to the boss, you know, I
Erin (16:48):
Dunno. Amazing.
Tori (16:49):
So we had a good laugh about that. <Laugh>.
Erin (16:51):
Yes. Oh my God. Okay. Did she accept any of the phone calls? Like did she take them
Tori (16:55):
With you? Yeah, I mean she would, yeah. She just didn't know how everybody was like calling at that certain time. But it was funny. So I fell in love with the student athlete piece. Everyone, my mom, dad, brother, all college athletes, athletics has always been ingrained in us and growing up athletics was a vehicle a choice. We were never forced to do things. It was just fun for us to do it. And so wanting to stay in this space as a basketball player, I hated recruiting. I hated film, I hated the travel. I knew I didn't wanna coach, but I wanted to stay in the athletic world. And then giving back to student athletes and helping those student athletes that were like me, that was like an internship. What the heck? Like I played D one, doesn't someone just wanna hire me? And no, that's not enough reason to hire at all. So how can younger Tori now becoming older Tori, help out the other student athletes? So I just say I get to work with 18-to-23-year-old humans that happen to be pretty good at their sport, but they're still humans. So how do we prepare for that next chapter?
Erin (17:57):
Ah, enter the power program. And I want you to know that I'm using my power notebook that you gave me. I it's literally on my desk. I'm looking at it right over there. Good. So tell us what, cuz this is how you and I connected, this is your baby. Tell us about the power program and and what it does.
Tori (18:20):
Oh, thank you. It's so special that you got to be a part of it. And now you're forever in the power family. We also have a lot of fun with the word power. We have like power meetings and power trips. Let God, so a lot of fun. Power is our women's leadership academy at Clemson and it really started from what originally was a focus group and we put together, we had applications for female student athletes to apply. We had 15 wonderful young women and our senior woman administrator and athletics, Stephanie Ellison Johnson. And her and I were chatting and I was like, we need to do more with this. We have these 15 brilliant young women, they've, you know, applied, were chosen to be a part of this group. We need to do more than just have a couple conversations. Let's create a women's leadership academy.
Tori (19:01):
And we run a three-year leadership academy for our student athletes already for all sports, male and female. So building this special area for our women. And then looped in Dr. Jana Maje Butler, she's an athletic leadership professor here on campus. And so we have co-created this program where we do sessions on campus with our group. We talk about, we do the strength space leadership, we use Clifton Gallup Strengths finder. We talk about core values and who do you, who are you, how do you lean into that? And you're going to be challenged. And we have four other staff members that come in and spend time with this group. And it was so cool our first two sessions last year, they were sitting in the back corner, you know, just kind of here to chime in and listen. And by that third meeting everybody was sitting in the same group.
Tori (19:47):
And that's what it is. We're all women. Whether you're 18 and good at basketball or 47 and have bad knees, but work in sports, it doesn't matter. We're all connected, we're women. And so bringing people together there we talk about owning the room and having presence and owning what you wanna do. We talk a lot about ownership and self-leadership. So it's leadership and professional development through the lens of being a female. It's all applicable to men and women. But we talk about some of those challenges through being a woman. We did a session last week on imposter syndrome. Yeah. And breaking myths about women and a lot of things about appearance came up and how do we break through that? And being that strong woman of being an athlete, sometimes it gets confusing from the messages you're receiving from society and what you think you should look like and what your strong muscles allow you to do.
Tori (20:38):
So we, we do those sessions. It's so much fun just to bring women together to talk. Then this past summer we went to Chicago for four days. That's brought you in. One of the coolest moments though we did, we had talked about professional presence, owning the room dressing and what makes you feel comfortable. And then we took that group to Nordstrom and they got to do styling sessions and just to see women try on something that doesn't, they don't like it on them but it looks good on their friend and that's okay. And they might wear a size eight in this style, but they're wearing a size 12 in this style and that's okay too. And if you wanna be a lawyer, you're gonna wear some boss lady suits and if you wanna lead outdoor excursions, you're gonna dress differently than the boss lady suits.
Tori (21:23):
And that's all good. You know, men, I give men a hard time. We don't get to just wear a polo in slacks every day. Yeah. And just call it a, like, that's not always comfortable. So to experience shopping, getting some feedback, feeling good about what you put on that was really cool. Then we, we toured Gatorade for half a day and to see women in those, you know, Gatorade does a lot more than just makes sports drinks. So it was fun to learn about that and see corporate America, we of course brought in and prove it and had a wonderful session that I know I had to take off my blazer cuz I was sweating just the nerves and like, ok, let's do this. And it's, we talk about that session all the time, not to just keep bumping you up, but it was, it was so, so good to be challenged in that way.
Tori (22:11):
We went to, we had a really nice meal. We went to W N B A game and then lastly, we had a networking night where it was a lot of cold emails. Maybe I did learn something from that internship, but I sent emails this time instead of calling and just women in Chicago that are in the industries of our student athlete's interests. And a lot of it was, do you know someone in Chicago that's a physician to someone that you know I might know and using our connections, but a lot of emails of like, hi, I'm Tori from Clemson, we have this group. We're coming next Thursday. I can bring deep dish pizza. Would you be willing to come? Every single woman said yes. Like, yep, I'm there. No questions asked. I mean the emails back were like, yep, I'm there. Let me know the details later. And that was cool to help build that network now into the Midwest. And then lastly, we hosted a women's leadership summit on campus. 75 women spent six hours on a Saturday and July with us. But those power student athletes hosted so the students became the teachers to their peers and it was so amazing. And now we're doing it year two. We're going, we're rolling.
Erin (23:16):
Yes. Oh my god. Tori, I'm giving you clap everybody. Tory. Round of applause. I mean that is
Tori (23:22):
Team effort.
Erin (23:23):
Huge. And I was honored like, you know, I told you this so many times. It was a marriage of literally my two favorite things. <Laugh> to be a part of Clemson and this experience women athletes and this empowering powerful program beautifully named and to witness the joy and some of the trepidation just come right off of the participants. And just to be able to experience it and witness how wonderful and powerful these women are and to see them just in this phase of their career and to, to watch them blossom. I still follow some of them on Instagram and cuz they connect with me and I just get, I'm so proud and I obviously follow the program on the athletic department programs on Instagram and I see them and I'm like, yes, keep going. And it just, the fact that you, I think what I heard you say, and correct me if I'm wrong, is you wish something like this existed for you when you were a college athlete.
Erin (24:21):
And I'm so glad that you saw this gap and created this amazing opportunity. I think leaders listening, so many people listening may not be athletic program directors. They might be HR leaders, they might be talent dev leaders or just a leader of a team. And they have this amazing population, this emerging leader group. And I, I coach and lead emerging leaders. And I have to say I love, it's one of, it's a passion for me because I find them to be extremely hungry. I find them to want, when I say hungry, not like they need a sandwich. I mean like they want to learn, they want to sponge up this information, they want to be the best selves they could be. They're not stuck in their ways. So for you and your role and to kind of chat to, to the leaders listening, what would you say is the key to empowering these emerging leaders? What have you found that is super successful?
Tori (25:20):
I think it's, it's being willing to share. It's not gate keeping the information or the secrets. And especially as women, we can't try to keep our path a secret. We need to bring the next woman up with us. And to your point, people are so hungry for information, let's give back. Right? It costs nothing to have a conversation. And that's, we feel good when we talk about it too, right? I can't talk about power without smiling. If someone wants to learn from you, how could you not share the gift of knowledge with them and being there for each other and bringing people along with us? We all want community. We all want connection and belonging. And so being able to create spaces and I always say see a gap. Fill it, see a gap. Fill a gap. What is the gap of within your group of people?
Tori (26:05):
And that's all a team is, is a group of people. Now we can go into culture and creating that environment, but by investing in your people and creating a space where people feel safe, they belong, they're buying in, they're feeling like they are being invested in with time and energy. That's how you create better people. And leadership is influence. And influence can be positive or negative. And so how are your young leaders choosing to influence? And it really, it starts with who they're learning from. And so that's where for me to bring a group of women together and we just have conversation. Janna and I, I will throw out some topics. Kay. Today we're talking about imposter syndrome, we're not lecturing and I mean learning pedagogy, lecturing is the worst way to learn. Yeah. So how do we get involved? How do we learn from each other?
Tori (26:56):
How do we do activities? How do we get them to talk and share their thoughts? That's part of it too. Empower people to share their thoughts. We all have thoughts and I'm a big believer if we share our thoughts, we have to set our ego aside that my thought's, the best thought in full stop. We're doing this to, here's my thought, I can't wait to see what people add to it and let's build this thing and I contributed. And so that's where we challenge our power group and all of our student athletes share your voice, right? You know, just because you are maybe this imaginary hierarchy of staff, student athlete, different leadership levels, your voice matters wherever you're at. And so you're a leader if you've influenced one person and you've probably influenced yourself. So how are you choosing to show up each day? And we, the world needs to hear your voice. So creating spaces to share their voices.
Erin (27:47):
Yes. I love that. So hard. And you said a little something there, which I like to call. Yes. And you're talking about add to it, contributing, not judging. Which is beautiful. And I really love what you said and I wrote this down, we can't keep our path a secret; bring someone with you. And that is literally one of my favorite things is if you are a person who has had a successful career, why not tell a younger generation how to do that? And there's not gonna be your path isn't the path, but show them the path and let people walk down it until they find emerge in the road and they can go this other way. And I love that's what this, this program is doing. I think that is a way to lead any type of emerging leader is to just allow them to have, have have somebody of influence to show them the way and then it's up to them to see the gaps and then fill it. And I love that so much Tori. I love it. Let me ask you this, what's the most challenging thing for you when it comes to leading emerging leaders?
Tori (28:54):
Not having enough time in the day.
Erin (28:56):
Yeah,
Tori (28:57):
Wanting to just spend all the time having the conversation and the connection. And you can't always do that. So you have to check yourself and create space. And so it's really easy to get behind the computer and typing and working or okay, we're gonna meet for one hour. How do you create additional space and know you did not get to where you are without the help of others. So how do you check yourself create space for other people? And so that's my biggest challenge. I'm like, I need more hours in the day but I just need to be better at creating more hours in the day and helping other people see the best use of their time. And that's part of my job with student athletes. They're so busy. Absolutely. They've got weights, they've got class, they've got their sport practice games, travel, they're doing internships. But also we need to find time to invest in you. Yeah. And to do these types of things and build out that resume and life experience and meet other people. So that's part of my job too, is helping other people find pockets in their day. So we're only getting 24 hours, we get the same 24 hours at Beyonce gets, I think I've seen that. Yes. That somewhere. So how are we using the most out of our time?
Erin (30:07):
Oh my god. The, the Bay hive is loving this cuz I'm a Beyonce fan myself. And I gotta tell you I feel that, I feel that so hard. It is. Again, I know Rat cats isn't like athlete, athlete but I will say it was challenging cuz we had morning workouts. Yeah we had class, we had practice, we had games. And then on top of that, if you wanna throw in like you said, an internship or any extracurricular you are managing and str and doing your homework at some point during the day. I think really what, what you're driving him to is the importance of checking in with ourselves and finding that balance. Because truly it's a lesson that I think we have to start. If I, I wish I would've started <laugh> checking in with myself and allowing more space to personally develop myself at a younger age. Because sometimes we just get so filled and I'm glad that you're there to guide them and to help them see that it's so important. For leaders listening today, what is one thing that they could stop doing when it comes to leading emerging leaders and what's one thing that they could start doing?
Tori (31:23):
That's a really, really great question. I think to stop doing is making assumptions of what people should already know or that they should just get it because they work for this company or because they signed up to work for this group. I think we have to and that's so hard and I'm not good at that either. And sometimes it's like, what do you mean you couldn't figure that out? But we have to stop assuming that they know the starting point. Yeah. Because where we're at, we usually forget where we started. Yeah. And so knowing people don't have the same knowledge that we do and I think just start doing is you have to know your people. Right. And that's what I say too. The the Power Women's Leadership Academy came from of course knowing as a former female student athlete, that would've been cool but cool is not enough of a reason to start something.
Tori (32:14):
It's knowing this is what our female student athletes could use and benefit from and it's tailored to our population. So for someone to take what we do at Power and Cookie, cut it into something else, it's not intentional. And so that's my word. My staff will always laugh cuz I say intentional so many times about everything. It's one of my core values. But it has to be intentional to who you're leading. Who is the group? What, where is that person coming from? How do they learn the best? Everyone takes in information differently. So for me, if I've decided to give back, it's not good enough to just say, here's my information, take it. The end. The way to be better is to be intentional about who your audience is and how you influence and develop. One person is probably different than who you will six months from now or at the same time.
Tori (33:05):
Yeah. And so being intentional with your people, with your time and, and it is, we can't just give up all of our eight to 12 hours of working day time to people. But how do you be intentional? Maybe you are carving out space to create something or create connection for people. That's it's intention. Going back to our beginning of the podcast a little, maybe that's the yogi coming out, but it has to be intentional. Everything we do has to be intentional. The way you clean your house, the way you grocery shop, everything has to be intentional.
Erin (33:40):
Namaste to that. Namaste. And I'm gonna say namaste. Yeah. And truly attention to intention I think is a phrase that I like to throw out because if we don't know what the purpose is of anything, of this conversation, of the program that we're leading of this person's career, what is, what is their goal? What is that intention? Then we don't really have anywhere to start. And I think that is just, I love that so much Tori. I do. And I think that just speaks to the quality of you as a leader. And I'm, I'm thrilled to have witnessed you in that leadership role. I think you are so fantastic and these women are so lucky.
Tori (34:28):
Well, I'm lucky I've learned so much. I've learned that's what's cool. It's just women, it's just having conversation and I think I get so much out of it just in hearing their voices. Right. I can't assume that I know what's going on in a 20-myear old's life being a student athlete at Clemson. Right? I was that 10 years ago. Ugh. My birthday's been like a month so long time ago. So we have to just have conversation and it's being intentional in that. And that's what our staff too. We should never create a program that we ourselves don't wanna go to. We do a lot of stuff at night. I'm here from about seven to nine most nights cuz that's the time for our student athletes. But if I've, you know, created this program and here's my facilitation guide and here's the activities we're gonna do and I don't even wanna go to it, that's a problem. How can I expect other people to just take the words that I say? Cause I'm gonna say it cause I wrote it out on a piece of paper. But even though I don't wanna be there, we have to be intentional and we have to soak in just as much.
Erin (35:27):
Yes. I love that. And that's, I mean, that says a lot cuz you're after hours. Well, you know, a typ, it's not a typical nine to five. And then you're like, let me create something that these women wanna go to that I wanna stay here for too. And if I wanna do it, then I'm sure they do. I hear you on that. You gotta make it fun. You gotta make it interesting for you, number one. And then know that people, if you're having fun, they'll have fun. So speaking of fun, Tori, I have a fun question. So if you could have a meal with any leader, who would it be? What would you talk about and what would you be eating? I just really, I don't, somebody asked me this question recently and I was like, this is truly, I, this just, I love it. So let me ask you that. What would you, who would it be? What would you talk about and what would you be eating
Tori (36:18):
A meal with any leader? You know, I would do any meal with any leader. I'm always so curious. I think it's, it's wanting to just hear how they do things. If I had to pick one though, you know what comes to mind, I'm gonna go with it. I ask my student athletes all the time to answer with your raw reaction. I just said something, you had a thought, what was it? The leader that I'd wanna have a meal with and we be in pasta because I'm a carb girl. Give me, I can eat pasta every single day. My grandma, and not for the sake of I'd love to have a meal with my grandmother and she passed a few years ago, but she was this powerful small woman that had, I don't know, there's like 20 of us grandkids running around and she had seven kids.
Tori (37:09):
But she led her family and she led her community. And I wish that I still had her so I could ask her questions. She made every single person feel special and I haven't figured that out yet. How did she remember the details of everybody's life to make them feel so important and to have the emotional intelligence and self-awareness to stay fully present. I mean, I know my grandma probably didn't care to hear every single detail about whatever I was talking about at the kitchen table, but I promise you I was the favorite grandchild. And I also promise you I've got 19 other cousins that are saying they're the favorite. And so how did she do that? She was still doing community service. I believe in I being a servant leader. And there was a story that was told at her funeral. The church had called for a volunteer and my grandma raised her hand to do something and they're like, no, no, no.
Tori (38:01):
Like someone younger can do it. And she was still trying to give back and edu she was an educator, whether it was music or whatever. It was giving back to people and the youth and just sharing service and support and community and loving on people. My grandma was so involved. She had so many friends. I used to joke she had more of a social life than I did and was still teaching me music at 87. So how did she find the time? And that's what I would, of course my grandma would love to have a meal with her, but I have so many questions. And so knowing what I do know of how she made me feel, I try to tap in, you know, what would grandma do? How would grandma handled that? But so calm, never expressed anger, stayed poised, had the answers or wasn't afraid to connect, always opened up her home. And so that's the leader that I wanna learn from. Yeah, it's really cool to know leaders that have made a lot of money or lead companies of 5,000 people, but it takes a lot of good leaders to lead those things and how you inspire. And so for my grandma to leave a legacy of the warmth that I feel and that I know so many people feel as well from her, how does she do that?
Erin (39:12):
Yeah.
Tori (39:12):
Inconsistent. I don't think she ever had a bad day. She probably did, but how did she not let that show up? Yeah, you're being pulled from so many ways. So that's, I wanna learn from my grandma Rita.
Erin (39:23):
Oh, grandma Rita. Well, grandma Rita is, she is smiling down right now. She is saying yes. I'm so proud of Tori, proud of this conversation, so well that is so cool. I love that. It kinda makes me wanna cry. Like I'm emotional. I'm like, yes,
Tori (39:39):
Emotions are good. Emotions are valid.
Erin (39:41):
I know, right? We talked about this before. We we're working to show our emotions. We're working to show them and talk through them. And I think that is beautiful. I wanna ask you this question too, and I ask this to everybody who comes on the show. We say it and it that the, it is whatever that you are put here to do. It's your purpose, it's your thing. It's the reason that Tori exists. Why is Tori's it?
Tori (40:06):
I think my it is to share my belief in other people so that they can see that same belief inside themselves. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, I come from a very small town, a small community, a town of 2,400. And so to be able to go where I've gone because I was decently good at shooting a basketball, I guess those opportunities provided by me, which ultimately came from my parents and the belief that they had in me. And someone asked me yesterday, what was the age or the thing that your parents told you? Maybe you should not do that. And I was like, that's never happened to me. Yeah. My parents have always said, if you can dream it, you can do it, but you have to work your tail off to get there and you have to find a way. So I think it's, it's being an extension of two really great parents, and I think I'm here for other people to help believe in them and lift them and challenge them when it's easy to be, to settle in or to find comfort.
Tori (41:11):
And so people do that for me. I, you know, I'm probably not that good at doing it for myself, but I think my it is to be here and be an extension and just help people be a connector. Build relationships. I love people as much as we make jokes that like, ah, people are annoying, like sure in the long lines, but we're all humans. We're just trying to make, make it together and have a good life while we're here and we don't know how long we're here. And so we have to find more joy. We have to love on each other. We have to let some of these things go and just care. So if I can do that, if I can make one person feel good, that's that's what I'm here for.
Erin (41:48):
That is it. And I love that, the power of one, it starts with one and then you can, it does, you can help so many just with that one focus. So Tori, I am so stink and grateful that you shared your power with us today. And I'm so grateful that you're showing emerging leaders everywhere how to help find their confidence and their own inner strength. So I see you get it.
Tori (42:15):
Thank you. See you. I see you. I see you. I love
Erin (42:18):
It. I see you.
Tori (42:19):
See you. Clemson University, Clemson
Erin (42:21):
University. I'm so grateful for you. I see you and I see you and
Tori (42:25):
See you later. We say that all the time. I
Erin (42:28):
Love it. There's never not a pun I don't love and that's my favorite one. But I will tell you something, truly thank you for all the work that you do, for all the things that you've put together for Clemson. And I know everybody listening, it can take what you've said today and apply it to their own teams, their own emerging leaders in some way, shape, or form. So thank you so much for being here.
Tori (42:47):
Oh, thank you. Thank you. It's always a team effort to, it takes people to do things to, to get off the ground. And so just reaching out and opening your heart and your mind a little bit more. So I'm so pumped to just see you and spend time with you. And I can't wait till you come back and work with our power
Erin (43:02):
Group. I cannot. I it is the greatest honor. I have to tell you that. And you know that. Okay, Tori, we're out.
Tori (43:09):
Thank you. Bye.
Erin (43:21):
Improve the peeps. Okay. I could talk to Tori forever. In fact, I want, I have and I will continue because she is just a light in my life and she's a light for everyone that she gets the opportunity to meet and to coach and to lead. So one of the things I really love that she said today was, we can't keep our path a secret. Bring someone with you. This rang in my ear and was sitting there the entire time. I thought to myself, how powerful pun intended of a statement. That is, we as leaders, we've been there, we've done that. We have paved our own way. And sometimes we forget that our emerging leaders have not yet done that. So being patient number one is huge. But the other thing is show them the path. We can't just get to the place that we've always wanted to go to and then stop and not reflect.
Erin (44:18):
So we now know what we've had to do to get where we are as leaders. How can we share that secret? How can we empower other people knowing what we know? That's why I teach, that's why I facilitate, because I love to tell people about the things that I've done in my life that have helped me. So think about how you can put that perspective into your own mind and shift into this way of teaching and facilitating and sharing with others the secrets that you know. I also love that Tori said it starts with one. So I want you to do this, and I want you to focus on one person in particular for the next month. Pick one person on your team and your organization who you know is an emerging leader. Who needs your help and guidance, who can benefit from your help and guidance.
Erin (45:08):
Now, if you're somebody listening who is an emerging leader, perhaps you aren't in a leadership role, I want you to think about someone in your life who you can influence. It doesn't have to be at work. This could be a sibling, this could be a neighbor. This could be a person in one of your associations who may need some extra help on a certain project or may have some set goals that you know you can help them achieve. Friends, we are people. People. We care about people. We care about human beings, and we care about this world. And I love this quote. We can't keep our path a secret. So today your homework is to go out there and share your knowledge with one. I am so inspired by this conversation. I of course adore Tori. I adore Clemson. I am so grateful for the education and the family and the community that it gave me. And I hope that you were able to listen to this episode and let it inspire you and for you to take that inspiration and share it. As you know what I'm gonna say, if you are a longtime listener to this show, I want you to keep failing, keep improving, because the world needs that very special it that only you can bring. I'll see you here next week.
Erin (46:32):
Hey Fred, did you enjoy today's show? If so, head on over to iTunes to rate and subscribe. So you never miss an episode. Now, did I mention that when you leave a five star review of the improvement podcast, an actual team of humans does a happy dance? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. That's right. So leave a review for us on iTunes, screenshot it and send me an email at info learn to improve it.com. I'll send you a personalized video back as a thank you. Thanks so much for listening. Improve It Peeps. I'll see you next Wednesday.