Episode 137: Need to Let Go of Control? The Magic of Surrender with Mindfulness Guru Kute Blackson
โ๐๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐จ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐จ ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐จ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ค๐๐ช๐จ ๐ค๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฉโ๐จ ๐๐ฃ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐ค๐ ๐ข๐, ๐๐ฉโ๐ก๐ก ๐๐ค ๐๐ฌ๐๐ฎ.โ
If this has been a thought of yours before, youโre definitely not alone. The truth is, improve it! peeps, weโve been programmed to throw ourselves at everything besides the problemโฆ
Work? โ๏ธ
Errands? โ๏ธ
Home projects? โ๏ธ
Travel? โ๏ธ
Family? โ๏ธ
And yet.
No one tells us how to โโ๏ธโ the problem. How do we confront grief? How do we process complex emotions? How do we sit with our disappointment and come back a stronger, more resilient version of ourselves? ๐ค
Join Erin and ๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐ณ๐๐น๐ป๐ฒ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฟ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐น๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ๐๐ผ๐ป to explore these questions and receive the unwritten guidelines for surrender. ๐ Press play now!
About Kute Blackson:
Kute Blackson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (Young Presidentsโ Organization), and EO (Entrepreneursโ Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the worldโs foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true lifeโs purpose.
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Email Erin: info@learntoimproveit.com
Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief โYes, Andโ officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. Sheโs a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, โget comfortable with the uncomfortable.โ Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We canโt wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 137 Transcription
Erin (00:02):
improve it peeps. Welcome to today's show. Today's show has a bit of a twist to it. Normally, I'm sitting here giving you all types of tips and tricks on how to be more mindful, purposeful leader, how to show up for your team. And today is really about how to show up for the most important person in your life. You. Today's episode is a little bit different, and you're gonna hear a side of me that is pretty raw and pretty vulnerable. More importantly, you're gonna meet an incredible human being who is going to help us surrender. Kute Blackson is a beloved, inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world, as well as outside events, including AEST, YPO, and Entrepreneurs Organization. He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of 100 of the world's foremost authorities in the personal development industry.
Erin (01:14):
He's also the winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award. And Blackson AKA Kute, is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: to awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically, and fulfill their true life's purpose. I am not even going to give you a high-level overview of today's show. I'm the, in the vein of the title of this episode. I'm gonna let go and I'm gonna let you experience the magic of Kute Blackson. Are you a leader searching for new and innovative ways to drive employee engagement and team morale through the roof? Do you wanna create a company culture where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued? Hi, I'm Erin Diehl, business improv edu entertainer, Phil Fluer and Professional Zombie, who is ready to help you improve your it, your it being, the thing that makes you, you think of me as your keeping it real.
Erin (02:29):
Professional development bestie, who is here to help you learn from your failures, stand tall in your power, and improve yourself so you can improve the lives of others. Oh, and did I mention that we are improving your IT through play? That's right. I am an improvisational comedy expert who uses experiential learning to help you have your aha haha moments. Those are the moments when the light bulb goes off and you're laughing at the same time. So grab your chicken hat, your notebook, and your inner child, because I'm gonna take you on a journey that is both fun and transformative. Welcome to the improve it! Podcast. Oh, okay. Kute. Welcome to the show. I'm so thrilled to have you. I'm glad, I'm glad that the stars aligned. It brought us together.
Kute (03:31):
Great to be here.
Erin (03:33):
All right. So I love to start off with a fun game we like to do in some of our workshops called Five Facts <laugh>. So, I wanna know five things about you that we couldn't find on your website, we couldn't find on your LinkedIn profile. If you had a resume, which I'm not sure you do anymore. It couldn't, it wouldn't be there. So let's do that. What are five things about you that we could not find on the inner webs?
Kute (04:06):
Wow. Just random.
Erin (04:08):
Random, like the best. The facts that you're like people don't know this.
Kute (04:14):
Wow. No pressure <laugh>,
Erin (04:16):
No pressure.
Kute (04:18):
Look, I, I, I don't know if these the best things, but I'm a, I'm a, I'm a real freak and afficionado, yeah. Crazy about cars. And at least I was, and had an insane amount of cars in the last of now. But between 2011, 12 to 2018, I probably had 18 cars.
Erin (04:52):
What?
Kute (04:52):
Different cars? Different cars.
Erin (04:54):
That is insane. Okay. What's your favorite one? That could be number.
Kute (04:57):
Two. 2012 I bought a Lamborghini, which was quite
Erin (05:02):
What,
Kute (05:02):
What, and dipped it for a year and fulfilled that fantasy and, you know, let it go. So, burn out some karma.
Erin (05:10):
Yes. What color? Lamborghini?
Kute (05:12):
Black. Black on Black.
Erin (05:14):
Oh, yes. That's, that's, okay. That's two. Give three. Give three.
Kute (05:20):
Number three. Let's see, let's see. Wow, this is a, this is a tough one. I was, yeah, I'm still loved, but I was really crazy about DJ music. Yeah. Electronic music. So I was a real electronic music fan. One time I went to my, my favorite DJ at the time was a guy called Dead Mouse. Yep. And I went one time, this is a while back, I went to see Dead Mouse five nights in a row. That was, that was pretty crazy.
Erin (05:58):
Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna give you that to you as your fourth one, <laugh>.
Kute (06:00):
That's amazing.
Erin (06:02):
You're welcome. You're welcome. Yep. And now I need five. It cause, but five nights in a row, that is a feat. Okay. Number five.
Kute (06:10):
Number five. Five. Let's see. Wow. Wow, wow. I, when I was a kid, I had a talent for eating very hot, spicy, hot peppers, raw peppers with good food. And I would have contests with my father to see who could eat the hottest food as a week. Oh
Erin (06:40):
My
Kute (06:40):
God. Prove my masculinity as a 12
Erin (06:42):
Year old. Don't you love that? That showed up, that childhood experience showed up later. That is some spicy stuff right there. No, I love those. Thank you for sharing that. And five, that five concert nights in a row.
Kute (06:56):
That was crazy. That
Erin (06:58):
Was crazy. That is crazy. Literally, I don't think I would have a voice. I think I would be exhausted, but also just energized at the same time. And I do know Dead Mouse. That is awesome. Yeah. Good stuff. Yeah. So let me do this. I wanna start today by just setting an intention for the show. What is one word that you would love to give our audience, and we call our audience the Improve It Peeps. Won't even get into how that got started, but tell me, tell me one word you wanna get out of today's show
Kute (07:33):
To get out or gift
Erin (07:34):
To gift to give and, and even get out for you. What's an intention? Yeah,
Kute (07:39):
Freedom.
Erin (07:39):
A give and receive. Ooh, let's go. Love that. Okay. And that, is that something, when you think of success, is freedom a part of that?
Kute (07:51):
I think freedom is a part of it. Freedom to be oneself, freedom to be authentic, freedom to be who you really are. But when I think of success, I really feel that the, the typical paradigm of success is a little one dimensional in that it's about set a goal, achieve a goal. Yeah. Don't achieve the goal failure, you know, get divorced, break up failure. And, and, and it's very limited. So for me, we are, I see myself as a soul, but we're spiritual beings. We incarnate into this human experience that life is really a university for our soul's evolution. And I see life and every experience in life, every situation, every experience, every relationship, everything that happens in life as part of the curriculum, everyone is out teaching. And so, see, coming from a spiritual perspective I've view success as the degree to which you learn the lessons and grow and evolve and learn the lessons where you are with who you, you are with in every experience. And so you cannot achieve the intended goal. But if you grow and you evolve and become more of your authentic self, and learn the lessons for why you attracted a situation to me, you've succeeded. And the degree to which you become your authentic self, you realize who you really are. This is success. And so, I see success as, as evolution more than anything.
Erin (09:22):
First of all, I hope your book is on audible. Can I just tell you something? It is. You're, you have this amazing, I love what you said, and I love how you say it. You just have this, the way that you just shared that information, my soul heard it.
Kute (09:41):
Oh, that's great. That's great. I'm glad
Erin (09:44):
That was awesome. And I also believe in that. I think I told you before we hit record, that I am, I'm a spiritual human. I, I, I identify as that. And I really do believe that we are all souls put in this human body to learn to, and we have some type of purpose. And when we are in alignment with that purpose, miracles happen, right? Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. So I am, I am learning and relearning and unlearning and doing all the things. And I feel like the universe just sent you to me and to our audience at the right time. And your book, the Magic of Surrender, speaking of time, I think has come out at a very important time in the world. And I just wanna hear this answer from you. Why now? Why, why did you wanna write this book at this particular time?
Kute (10:50):
Yeah, it's interesting. I wish I could say, yeah, it was this, you know, the timing of the universe, and it, this was not the book I wanted to write. That's the honest truth. This was not the book I planned to write. That's the honest truth. That's, that's the, the cosmic joke of, of life and the universe on me. I had planned, I wanted to write a whole different kind of book. I had 15 what I thought were clever ideas of books, I thought would be bestsellers books. I thought my publishers would want books they thought would be make me more known in the world. And none of those felt true. None of those felt authentic. None of those felt right. And the only word I, I remember having a, a kind of a flip chart board, and the only word I wrote on this board that felt true and authentic was the word surrender.
Kute (11:36):
And that's when I knew like, oh. This is what, this is the book and the message that is seeking to be written, and it has a soul of its own. And so I had to surrender to the book about surrender. And when I did, everything just flowed. And so the timing was interesting because this was in 2019, and then 2020, while I was writing the book already, but I was already in the process, the pandemic hit. And so it just felt like this intelligence of the universe orchestrated the perfect unfolding in timing. So that when my book came out in 2021 it, it couldn't have been more appropriate in terms of the timing because it felt as though the universe life ha was teaching us. We were all put into a global seminar on learning surrender. And, and, and so the book itself too, on a personal level was partly inspired by my mother.
Kute (12:38):
And in 2016, at the end of 2016, my mother, who the dearest person to me was diagnosed with stomach cancer. And that was really, I mean, it was difficult. It was challenging. It was heartbreaking. Like when the person you loved the most is like, oh, she may not be around. So I began flying back and forth from LA where I, where I lived to London, literally every month to be with her for a week and take care of her. And I had all, all of these plans to heal her and to get her better and alternative therapies. And probably in a month or two, I realized like, she's on her own trips. I don't, I don't think she's going to make it. And I saw that I really wasn't in control of fixing her and making her whole and, and healthy. And so I had to surrender.
Kute (13:28):
And I would say the seed of the book was planted. Were about six months into the process. She'd been going to chemotherapy. And I was with her in chemo eight hours a day, eight hours in the day, and chemos holding her hand just being with her. And it was what started out as the worst year of my life turned out to be the best year of my life. I remember six months in, the doctors finally said, look, I don't think there's anything we can do for you. Like, get your affairs in order, because the time is is coming and it's maybe days, weeks, maybe months at most. And it's really, it was heartbreaking. And so I asked my mother two questions. The first question I asked her was, are you afraid? And my mother, who's a little Japanese woman, my mother said, no, I'm not afraid because I know that I'm not this body, that this body is really a temporary vehicle for my soul.
Kute (14:23):
And even when this body goes, I will not, I will be with you from the other side. I I will be here. I I won't die. And it was such a profound moment of clarity from her that felt like a blessing. Then I look my mother in the eyes, and again, and this is I think where the seed of the book was planted, and this is why I asked her, what do you need? What, what do you want? I want it to be a good son. Right? And what do you, what do you want? What can I buy for you? What can I, where can I take you? And, and all my mother said was, there's nothing I need and there's nothing I want. All I want is what God wants for my life. In that moment, a very simple statement, I realized why she was at peace.
Kute (15:03):
I realized why she was free this entire year. She didn't complain. She didn't cry. She was, I mean, she was a case, happy, totally at peace, didn't feel like a victim. And I realized she was truly surrendered. She was living and demonstrating surrender in the midst of a very raw, real human experience, not just this lofty experience in a mountain top in the Himalayas. She wasn't attached to dying. She wasn't attached to living. She was surrendered to life and the, the, the, the highest process for her life and her soul. And that, I think, inspired me to write the book because I realized the power of surrender in that moment. And as I began reflecting on the truly great ones that I respect, Jesus, bud Gandy, mother Teresa Mandela Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali, the list goes on. They all surrendered themselves in some way. They surrendered themselves to a purpose bigger than themselves. They surrendered themselves to life. They surrendered themselves to, to the universe. They, in their surrendered, they transcended their own human limitations. And I think that's when life was able to use them and, and manifest through them. And miracles happened. And so that's really in a nutshell, how the book came about. I was guided. It shows me
Erin (16:28):
Totally. And let me just tell you, I had chills. I had goosebumps. I had a million emotions during that time. Can I ask you a follow up question? Yes, please. Do you, so she passed Sheed. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Do you feel her presence with
Kute (16:45):
You? It's so amazing because I feel in a strange way, closer to her now mm-hmm. <Affirmative> than even when she was alive. And I was very close. But you know, when someone is alive, at least I took it for granted. Ah, she's there. And, and, and when someone is alive, you tend to relate to them as a human, as a physical, three dimensional human being. But when she passed away, it was as though two things. Number one, my connection with her was no longer limited to the human form. So I could feel her all around all the time. It was no longer like, I had to call her up to feel the connection and say hi. She was just with me. And when she died, I remember the first few evenings just weeping because I felt into her essence. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, because I was no longer focused on the human form.
Kute (17:46):
I, I, I felt who she was. I felt the depth of her love as a human being, that, that, that she had. And it was so deep that I felt like I finally saw her. Like I finally understood who she was. And, and I felt her honestly guiding me, her presence guiding me. There's specific things that occurred literally weeks after she died that were miraculous. One or one thing I was trying to manifest that wasn't happening. And the moment she died, within three weeks, it happened. And I thought, I knew that was her, her blessing in my life. And so I, I feel her presence and, you know guidance in many ways. And so, yeah, for those that might have lost a loved one, I think, look, all forms change. This is the nature of life. Life is transitory. Like if there's one thing I remember in that year, sitting with my mother, watching her wash the dishes, and we would take walks in the park.
Kute (18:58):
And the truth is, I had spent so much of my life prior to that, running around the world, trying to help people. And I didn't have time to just hang out and just shoot the breeze and be with my mother as much as I wanted, cuz I just was so busy. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. So I told myself. And so I remember when I sat with her, I thought, wow, why did I wait till she was dying to, to, to spend this time? The only regret I have in my life is not spending more time with her. And it's a secret regret that has enabled me to really appreciate what's important even more. But I feel her, you know, all forms change. Totally. Life, life is transitory. But what I found is the loving doesn't change. And the real relationship isn't just with a physical person. So if we think that in this example, my mother is this body, that we are this body, that person is this body, then the truth is, when someone dies, why don't we just drag their body and put them on the couch?
Kute (20:05):
And there they are. No, no problem. Yep. Yeah. But that's not it. And so when we understand that we are not just this body, that another person isn't just this body, what we are is a consciousness. What we are is a, is a beingness that we all share that is not limited to this body. So even when the physical body dissolves the real essence of what they are, what we are remains, it remains. And so I feel fill that connection. I think we can all tap into that. You know, especially if someone is grieving the loss of their loved one, grieve it. I have to grieve it on a human level. And yet under I think understand that the essence of what they are is, is always, is always present.
Erin (20:52):
A thousand percent. Thank you for sharing that. And I my mother had a stroke in 2020, and I feel very connected to what you were saying. And she, she did survive, but she has transformed a little bit. And it has been an evolution of, of, of not, and, and, and also, I'm so glad that you, you say you grieve and you process and you allowed yourself to feel, I, I definitely don't think I allowed myself to feel. And I think there was some disassociation that happened that has caused things that I'm now revisiting. And so I feel so deeply for you and your mother. I know. She is so proud of you. She's getting teary. She's getting teary. But that is, that's real. That's real. This is real. And this is I think bleeding into what I wanted you to come on this show to talk to our audience about Oh, sorry, go
Kute (21:57):
Ahead. The, the, the, the grief is hard.
Erin (22:00):
Yeah.
Kute (22:01):
But the grief is a necessary doorway to deeper surrender.
Erin (22:07):
Totally.
Kute (22:08):
There is no true authentic, oh, like openhearted surrender without grieving. Yeah. Because surrender is a death. Surrender isn't letting go. A death of who we thought we were. A death of a dream, a death of a relationship, a death of a phase of our life. Well, I'm no longer 20 years old now. I'm 30, 40, 50, 60. You know, it, it surrender is a letting go. Yes. And many times, in not allowing ourselves to grieve, we don't honor the past. We don't release the past. So we're carrying the past energies into the future. And so sometimes we don't allow ourselves to grieve fully. I felt, because we think it will last forever, we think it will be too much. And overwhelming. Sometimes we don't allow ourselves to grieve as a kind of unconscious or even conscious denial. Cause if, if I don't let myself grieve, then may be, I don't have to feel how painful it is.
Kute (23:16):
And I don't have to really acknowledge that maybe she's gone. If I don't let myself grieve, then I don't have to acknowledge that my mother's gone fully. And I can kind of live in denial. And, and, and that is a, it's a survival mechanism, you know? Yeah. And so I think in many ways, but we don't realize in that denial, we keep ourselves stuck. And the degree to which we suppress and deny the grief or the negative, it's not really negative, but let's just call it that. Yeah. There's also the degree to which we limit our capacity to experience the joy and the bliss of happiness. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And so when my mother died, what I had to do was acknowledge the grief. And there were a few moments I gave my get self. Like, honestly, the only way out is through. And I, and the quickest way through to the other side is through it.
Kute (24:11):
And the quickest way through heartbreak is to feel it ly because all feelings remain present until fully felt. And so what I did, and maybe this will help someone, is I just allowed myself to grieve. I if that wasn't like, wallowing all day feeling, sorry. It, it was, I just honored my feelings, decided to be gentle with myself, kind, compassionate, empathetic to myself. But I also gave myself grief sessions where, you know, I think it was for the first month, like every night I just gave myself like an hour or however long I needed just to journal, to cry, to just feel whatever the emotions were as a release. And sometimes the, the process of grieving, I, I felt like my heart was breaking. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And as I would feel that heart breaking, what would happen was in the full feeling of the grieving, my heart didn't break it actually, the current shape of my heart broke open.
Kute (25:18):
Mm. And, and, and so let's say my heart was this big before I would grieve, and then it was like, boom. And it felt so painful. And then there was an expansion. And then, oh, I'm not broken, I'm broken open. And it, it's like the grieving expands your capacity to feel the loving. And then there was a deeper capacity to love and then another layer of grief and a deeper capacity to love, not a, a deeper capacity. And so what I found for myself was the grieving allowed me to, to, to let go and move on. Which sometimes we don't want to. So we wanna hold on to that person so we don't grieve as a way of staying connected. But also the grieving was, was, was really freeing. Yeah. It was the freedom that allowed me to open my heart again, to love more deeply, to appreciate life more deeply, to feel more joy through the process.
Kute (26:16):
You know? So, ah, I love this. And there's a, there's a deeper resilience that I found too, that when you grieve and you break open mm-hmm. <Affirmative>, and then you see that you're still there, and then you break open again, which is so vulnerable and you're still there. Yeah. But that's a deeper resilience and strength that you find and develop from within them. Suppressing it, you know, and, and, and not going there. It's like, wow, I've been broken and I was broken open and I'm still okay. That's a there's a power that, and a strength that emerges from deep within.
Erin (27:01):
I love that. And I gotta tell you, I'm, I think I told, well, I've, I'm, I'm open now here. It's the cat's outta the back. I, I said out loud to last week, I am broken. Like, I literally was lying on my bed. This is a whole, this, I'm taking this somewhere. I didn't expect this show to go, but we're gonna take it there. The disassociation I had from not, and I'm saying all this as our personal journeys to help the people listening today, the disassociation that I had by not grieving a lot of things, including the transformation of who my mother now is. That journey, 2020, just the things that I decided to do were to disassociate and to throw myself into work and to achieve and to achieve and to achieve. And by doing that, I created physical pain.
Kute (28:02):
Yes. Exactly.
Erin (28:03):
In my body. That's
Kute (28:05):
What happens.
Erin (28:05):
Which I have gone on a massive search for, I mean, chiropractors, cupping, dry needling, doctors, like it's been over a year. And I finally just read a book called Healing Back Pain by Dr. Sarno. Yes. And I am, I am so just cracked wide open to this process of surrender and to a power greater than my own understanding and to revisit a lot of the repressed emotions that I carried. And it has been so painful. I mean, I'm talking about like, I have fake eyelashes. Cute. Okay. They are gone. I have lost many of them from tears, and I have just really cracked myself.
Kute (28:59):
Amazing.
Erin (29:00):
And
Kute (29:01):
That's surrender. You're not surrendering too. Yeah. The feelings and what's there and the process you are in, that's a surrender.
Erin (29:09):
Yeah. Yeah. And I I will say that I think that this may be hard for some of the people listening today to grasp mm-hmm. <Affirmative>. And I want to share my own personal experience, because I think you have to grieve, in order to even understand a little bit of what this means, you have to be able to feel those emotions very deeply, like you said. Yeah. I want you to tell us too, because I know you talk about in the book letting go versus surrender.
Kute (29:39):
Mm-Hmm.
Erin (29:39):
<Affirmative>, what's the difference? Is there a difference? Are they the same?
Kute (29:44):
Yeah. I mean, I talk about it also this way, like acceptance, right? You can be an acceptance, but okay, I accept, I let go, but I'm still off. I'm still upset that this is the way it is. But surrender really is that openhearted participation. It's the open, like you roll your sleeves up like you're doing now, and say, I'm gonna participate with the experience that's happening. That's surrender where you open your heart and embrace the experience the best you can, and just use it for your evolution and your highest good. And so, to me, this is, this is surrender. Yeah. You know, it, it, it can be a, an active thing. A really powerful and active thing.
Erin (30:40):
What have you experienced just on a high level from fully surrendering, what have you? Wow. I mean, I mean, what miracles have you seen come to life?
Kute (30:52):
My whole life, really? This is when I realized, when I thought, oh shoot, the book has chosen me. Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And, and I saw that in certain ways that my life was preparing me to write this book on surrender, because it's what I was born into, even how my parents met. They agreed to get married having never met, having not even seen each other. And my father's from Africa, my mother's Japanese, he's black, she's, she's Japanese, he's from Africa, she's from first world, third world. And they agreed to get married without ever speaking, seeing each other, having a conversation, surrendering to their guidance. Crazy story, crazy story. And, you know, somehow made it for 40 some years, you know? And, and so I was born into surrender. They've lived surrender. I realized my mother was living, surrender throughout my life and childhood. I just didn't appreciate it cuz she's just my mom, my dad also being a healer and a minister and a great man and his living surrender.
Kute (31:56):
And there have been many moments throughout my life where I've lived surrender. Like I ended up winning a green card in the green card lottery at the age of 18 and a half to come to the US after finally acknowledging like my father had 300 churches in Ghana, west Africa, a huge church in London, finally acknowledging I was supposed to take of these churches. I would, I was ordained as a minister when I was 14. But finally got to the point of acknowledging this is not my path. And I had to surrender and let go of the expectations and the path and, and I was terrified. And, and when I did, that's when I ended up winning a green card, literally in the green card lottery. Three to that enabled me to follow my dreams and come to the US with two suitcases and honey, when a lottery really can't plan that, but it happened.
Kute (32:44):
And so to me, the degree of magic we want to experience in our life is in direct proportion to the degree to which we surrender. And many times we want match. If I say who wants magic, I want magic. But we don't wanna let go of the old. We don't wanna let go of the old relationship. Well, I, I'll let go of the relationship when my soulmate shows up. Well, it doesn't work that way. It's not the formula. To me, surrender is the password to freedom. Surrender is the password, the key to the next level of manifestation. And the next level of your life requires the next level of you, which requires that you let go of what's not aligned. Yet we hold onto what's not working and what's not aligned out of comfort and out of self-preservation. So any moment in my life when I've let go of what's not aligned, that's opened the space for blessings and miracles. You know, when I wrote the, when I started writing the book, be Careful when you write a book on surrender. You know, my next book is gonna be like, how to Make 50 billion.
Kute (33:56):
I will read that. Yes, ill read that. And hopefully the universe will put me through process and manifesting that. Because lemme tell you, when you write a book on surrender the universe tests you. And, and, and at least for me, made me go through experiences to understand the nuances. So I start writing the book on surrender Covid hits Now. Pardon was like, the covid hit because I started writing the book of Surrender a joke. But, but that really began a whole new pro. Obviously. We all went through it and it really hit me. I was on the road 200 days a year traveling, doing events, boom, gone, none, none. I ended up living, I was in LA for 20 years. I ended up letting go of my office in LA letting go of my apartment in la I had a a, a house in Phoenix at the time also, but I'd only go there once a month or every few weeks.
Kute (34:52):
Six weeks. Ended up moving to Phoenix, which I never thought I would do full time. Completely different universe. Ended up not doing any events pretty much, which was my mission in my life, was in a relationship with a woman. I was sure I was going to marry, have kids marry. Long story short, didn't happen. Another surrender. But is really, you know, all the signs. Everything's like, no, sometimes what you think is isn't and what you think ISN and is. And so I ended up then surrendering that relationship, which was very hard. Surrendering moving from Phoenix to Miami, selling my house in Miami, all within a few months, bam, bam. Ended up in Miami. No plan to be in Miami, thinking Miami was gonna be the place I was gonna live. Ended up back in la kind of long story short. And so all of these incredible things ended up ended up being guided, literally out, heard a voice go to Brazil, ended up being guided. I've been there before, but no real reason following that again, surrendering and meeting my wife and, you know, amazing. So, so, so many. I mean, I could go on and on, but so many miracles have happened. And I think if we look at the best things that have happened in our lives, if anyone looks at the best things, most of it you didn't plan.
Erin (36:19):
That's
Kute (36:20):
It. Meeting that person, meeting your husband, meeting even go, okay, on 4:00 PM I'm gonna go to Starbucks and there's my soul mate gonna be waiting there. It just, it happens in the process of living itself. And so I think surrender is taking the limitations off of life and being available and being open, open to allowing life, this intelligence of life, life to lead you, life to guide you, life to show you. And I think that's when the magic happens, you know, that's when the miracles happen.
Erin (36:52):
I freaking love it. And I hope that our audience in priv pee's listening today really resonate with that. I think a lot of us hold really tight to a lot of the perfectionism tendencies, people pleasing tendencies, A lot of the things that we're so used to the patterns that we've been doing for years and years and years. And I really hope that someone listening today takes what you said, they apply it and they really put it to heart, not only at work in every area of their life, because I do see the miracles that you're talking about. And I've ex I have experienced surrender. And when I think I've surrendered, I'm gonna surrender more.
Kute (37:38):
Yes. Surrenders.
Erin (37:40):
S yes. And I think anyone listening today who is listening for was guided here. So I wanna thank you so much for coming on the show. Before we go, I always like to ask our guests, we say improve it is the name of our company, but that it is your purpose, it's your mission. It is what you are put here to do. What is your it?
Kute (38:10):
I'm here to help people, inspire people to remember who they really are. Cause I think when we remember who we really are, everything flows from that. That's, that's, that's the real freedom in knowing who you are.
Erin (38:24):
Love it. I love it. Yes. And finding that finding who you are can be a journey, but it leads to where you're at this ultimate, what I want to say, freedom as you use your word, your intention, it leads to this freedom and this feeling of you're not alone, you're being guided. And I just wanna, I wanna dedicate this show to your mom. Can we do that? Can we do this show to her today? What's her name?
Kute (38:55):
Chiko.
Erin (38:55):
Oh my God. Chiko. We're thinking of you. We are sending you so much love. And I just wanna thank you so much for coming on. Tell our audience where they can find you if they want more,
Kute (39:07):
Where can they find you? Yeah. The firstly, the book, the Magic of Surrender. Check it out on Amazon, get it on paper back. It's available there. It's a simple inspiring roadmap to living freedom in every aspect of life. That's that. My main website, blackson.com. K ut blackson.com. If people want to go on a deep dive twice a year, I do an event in Bali. It's, it's 12 days. It's called Boundless Bliss. So www boundless bliss bali.com and Instagram, coo Blackstone, Facebook coo, loveman.
Erin (39:47):
We'll put that all in the show notes for you. When's your next Bali trip?
Kute (39:52):
December the fifth, depending on what people listen. December the fifth and then also in July.
Erin (39:58):
Amazing. All right, well thank you so much. It has been an honor to chat with you. I am grateful for you sharing this journey. I feel like it was at the right time for me, and I hope that today helps people just lean into this magic of surrender and lead a more purposeful life filled with freedom. Thank you. Cute so much. Thank
Erin (40:29):
Wow. Improve it. Peeps. I have many emotions during that recording. Tears, laughter, goosebumps, and an inner presence within myself, knowing that we were all guided to hear this message today. I definitely let you in on a little bit about myself and where I'm at in terms of my own healing journey. And I plan on sharing more of that with you in the next month or so. I'm still processing, I'm still learning. And one of the things that I really took away from today's show is this idea of allowing ourselves time to grieve, to feel like we're broken, and then to put those pieces back together and become a greater, more bolder, more vibrant, more guided version of ourselves. And I am very excited that we had Kute on the show today. He is so phenomenal in the work that he is putting in the world.
Erin (41:38):
And I hope that today allowed you to take some time just to reflect on where you're at and where you hope to go. Cuz you were meant to be a soul on this earth, living out your purpose as a leader, friend, whatever title you want to give yourself, I hope that you take away some magic from today's show. And I hope you surrender to all the possibilities that this lifetime can bring. You know what I'm gonna say? I want you to keep failing, keep improving because this world needs that very, very special itch that only you can bring. I'll see you next week. Hey, Fred, did you enjoy today's show? If so, head on over to iTunes to rate and subscribe. So you never miss an episode. Now, did I mention that when you leave a five star review of the Improve It Podcast, an actual team of humans does a happy dance? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>? That's right. So leave a review for us on iTunes, screenshot it, and send me an email at info learn to improve it.com. I'll send you a personalized video back as a thank you. Thanks so much for listening. Improve It Peeps. I'll see you next Wednesday.