Episode 195: Be Here Now: Five Steps to Becoming More Present in Your Life
You know how the universe has that way of slapping you in the face when you least expect it?
Erin is here to tell her most recent wake-up call that all started when she jumped off of a 40-foot cliff in Costa Rica. Oh yeah, you’re in for a treat. From this leap of faith that ended in something not so cute, Erin realized that she was being called to experience a deeper level of presence in her everyday life, and to teach others how to do the same.
If you’re looking for a 5-step method to becoming more present and less helllloooo is anybody home, then this is the episode for you.
ICYMI – Your Post-Episode Homework: If this episode served you, please pass it on to a friend, a colleague, or someone you haven’t spoken with in a while. Let’s join forces in becoming more present, one day at a time.
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Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 195 Transcription
Erin (00:00):
Hi new friend. I'm Erin Diehl business, improv edutainer, Failfluencer, and keynote speaker who is ready to help you improve your it, it being the thing that makes you, you. So think of me as your keeping it real. Professional development bestie who is here to help you develop yourself into the best version of you possible so you can develop your team and lead with intentionality, transparency, and authenticity. Oh, and did I mention we're improving your IT through play? That's right. I am an improvisational comedy expert who uses experiential learning to help you have your aha haha moments. Those are the moments when the light bulb goes off and you're laughing at the same time. So grab your chicken hat, your notebook, and your inner child because I'm gonna take you on a journey that is both fun and transformative. Welcome to the Improve It Podcast,
Erin (01:08):
Improve It Peeps. Okay, today's episode, it's gonna start off with a little life update about your girl. Y'all. It has been a month or it's been a couple months and it's been quite interesting around here. Today we're talking all about more steps to becoming more present in your life. And I've got five steps, you know, I like to break it down for you. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, get out a pen, get out some paper because these are super tangible. I wanna start off with a little life update on my own presence. About a month ago I released an episode called Five Steps, or I'm sorry, seven Steps to Self-Love. It was episode 180 8 and I told you a little bit about the anxiety that I was going through, the feeling of burnout, all the things, that feeling of burnout really lasted and reared its super ugly head in May of this year, into June of this year.
Erin (02:11):
Now we're going into July of this year and it felt like the smallest tasks seemed super overwhelming. It was almost as if my mind was a computer. And if you can imagine a computer with like 700 tabs open, that was my mind. I was writing a book, which I'll talk about later. I was doing keynotes, I was making sure my son was set up for school and kids activities. I was running a business, I was doing the most at the same time and there was no compartmentalization. Everything just sort of blended together. So it was as if my brain was this computer with so many tabs open that it was almost about to malfunction. I had had anxiety prior to this feeling of burnout. So let's just take a step back. This all happened in May. In May, I went on a vacation to Costa Rica to celebrate one of my best friend's 40th birthdays.
Erin (03:13):
And on this trip I got really brave and I decided to jump off a 40 foot cliff. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>, you've heard that right into a body of water. Not like hit the ground, but like into a body of water. Well, here's the deal. The deal, your girl Aaron deal got out of the water with a concussion and I didn't know I had the concussion until about five weeks later when I actually took myself to the ER to get a CT scan cuz I couldn't get into any doctor with any type of scanning device for a couple more months and I just needed an answer. And so lo and behold, the concussion did not show up on the CT scan. No swelling, no bleeding. But the doctor and I traced back the dates and the timing of this feeling of burnout, the headaches, the, I had some vision loss, if I'm being honest, or just vision impairment, I should say.
Erin (04:10):
It's very, my eyes are very sensitive to light right now. So long story short, I've ha been walking around with a concussion for almost six weeks and I didn't know, on top of doing the most, trying to be the most to every single person and every single thing in my life, my brain was on overdrive and I was about to literally malfunction. My computer was dying, literally turning off battery depleted. And I think this concussion and I'm still sitting here talking to you with it. So no, I'm okay. But I think this concussion was the universe's way of hitting me over the head, figuratively and literally because I had stopped being present to my life. I was just checking a box, getting the thing done, taking care of the task and going to the next thing. Not really thinking it through, not necessarily giving it as much intention as thought as I wanted to.
Erin (05:13):
Not being super present, just trying to go, go, go, go, go, do, do do, be, be, be, be, be. And that word be is where I wanna start. I was not being, I was a human doing. I was waking up early. I was writing for this book manuscript that you'll hear about. I was doing the work of improve it during the day. I was making time for exercise, I was parenting, I was trying to also have a social life on top of weeks of work, travel. I was struggling with countless to-do lists, never ending thoughts. I was a workaholic and I was trying, trying, trying. And I was being the extra, most extra at all the things. I wanted to be the best at every single thing I was doing. I even think about the way that I keep my home. I am spotless. I am a neat freak.
Erin (06:14):
And that is because it's a form of control. I can control that, but it's also because that keeps me in a state of calm and it's also a re a way that I see myself having to be extra. I can let some things go right, I can let some things go. That doesn't have to be perfect. This idea of perfectionism was plaguing my presence. So before I had this head injury, honestly I was doing this. This is a pattern that I've had for years and I've had many people in my life, including coaches, mentors, my brother-in-law who is a general practitioner doc, internal medicine doctor, begged me to stop, to slow down, to stop trying to do all the things. I've had my parents weigh in and I've had friends say, you're trying really hard, like you should take a break. And I didn't know how to rest.
Erin (07:09):
I don't know how to rest. And then this concussion hit me straight to the head literally that I have to change. I'm 40 years old and I have never felt this way at this age in this body and these circumstances ever because if I'm going to serve you for the next 20 years, which I want to do, I have to change. There's no way that I can remain on this earth using the patterns of my past. I have to carve out a new future. And that begins with being more present in my own life. So my friends, whatever resonates with you in this story. I hope you did not jump off a 40 foot cliff. If your friends tell you to jump off a cliff, as the saying goes, don't do it. It's the age old saying, and they're right. Just don't do it. Okay?
Erin (08:07):
But I hope that parts of this hit home with you, or at least actually I don't hope that it hits home with you. I hope that you're listening <laugh> and you're like, this isn't me, because it is a very hard pattern to break. But I'm sure there are pieces in there that you see in yourself or you see in others. And I hope that this episode today can be a light for you or somebody you know, to help them break this pattern and to help them become more present in their life. Now I'm sitting here let's see, probably seven weeks out of, of having actually having the concussion, about a week and a half after realizing this is what it was and I am committed to self care. And through this time period, I've really had to scale back on everything. And that's what I'm gonna teach you today are these five steps that have helped me actually through this transformational period, become more present to the moments that I'm in.
Erin (09:13):
Instead of racing through the day, I'm actually focused. And here in that moment with the people I'm at, instead of going, going, going being the energizer bunny, I'm sitting down and giving space and giving grace to the people I'm talking with or to myself. So let's start with your first step of five to becoming more present in your life. Step one, we are going to sleep y'all. If sleep is not your priority, let's make it so I have to rest in order to heal this injury. And I used to sleep probably seven, seven and a half hours on a good day, a night. I am now focused and committed to getting eight to nine to nine and a half hours on a night minimum eight is the minimum. That used to be my like golden arch, like, yes, gold star for you. Eight is like, girl, you need to lay in bed for another hour and just close your eyes.
Erin (10:16):
So we did an episode all about this, about your evening routine. If you struggle with sleep, let me just tell you, this has been an art I, this is a practice that I have really gotten into. It's episode 180 6. I got a whole regimen because I love a morning routine. I have a whole way to wind down. And here's, here's where I went with this. I have this long 30 minute ordeal for my four year old son to go to bed. And for me, I was just popping out my contacts, popping in my retainers and a C B D gummy and trying to hit the, Hey, no, we have to calm our nervous systems down. We need to turn off our on switch. So go back to episode 180 6 of this show if you need some help getting to sleep. But number one is focus on sleep because you can't show up, you can't be present to your life if you're tired.
Erin (11:13):
I can tell the days that I don't get this eight to nine hours of sleep, like if it's just seven and a half, I'm feeling so different. And that is because I am healing from an injury. But this is a pattern that I am trying to bring into my life moving forward. All right, so that's step one. Step two, and we talked a lot about this in episode 180 8 of this show, seven Ways to practice self-love. But I am cleansing my body at this time of things that do not fuel it, including alcohol. Now let me say this, I'm gonna be the first one to tell you I love a glass of Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc. Give me a whispering angel glass of rose on a patio like that is a prime location and a prime drink for me at this time in my life.
Erin (12:04):
Alcohol is not serving me. It's actually hindering my wellness. My wellbeing, and I don't miss it. So I'm on about day 12 of no alcohol. I'm gonna see how long this lasts. I will not go back to drinking more than two drinks on a given weekend. I don't drink during the week anymore. I stopped doing that probably in 2021 because I noticed a real gross pattern from the pandemic of drinking every single night. I had to change that. So I typically before this concussion and before realizing that this was the hit over the head that I needed drink on the weekends, maybe three drinks on Friday, maybe like four on Saturday. I'm just gonna keep it real. I kept all my drinking to the weekends and now moving forward, I'm gonna keep this cleanse going for as long as I can. And I know that when I go back, I'm gonna really limit that intake because it's so hard to recover from the older I get.
Erin (13:06):
And it's also just not necessary. It doesn't make me feel good The next day my anxiety spikes the next day I have to parent, especially on weekends. I'm parenting all day and it is not conducive to the way that I wanna show up for my son or for me. That's my journey. Okay, do what feels right for you. I'm just sharing where I'm at. I'm also getting rid of the CBD gummies that I preached about in my evening routine episode because I'm trying to limit the things that will hinder my brain, re connectivity and full regeneration of all of the things that need to make this concussion heal. I am removing bad foods from my diet. So things like greasy chips, I will still eat a sweet potato fry. Okay, let's just keep that real. But things that do not fuel me are gone. I'm adding in more protein.
Erin (14:09):
I've been really drinking these premier protein shakes, eating more protein bars. I'm a pescatarian, so I get my protein from fish and nuts, but I really did not get enough of it in my day-to-day. So I'm adding more protein in and I'm trying to eat less gluten. I said I was gluten free in episode 180 8. Seven ways to give yourself more self-love. And I have to tell you, I think my body actually needs a little bit of it, but I'm trying to remove it as much as possible and only eat it when necessary. So that's step two, cleansing my body. Okay, here's step three. All of these things, again, are helping you become more present to your life. I am now taking scheduled breaks during work. And I know many of you work in corporate jobs and your day if you're working from home, is filled with zoom after zoom after zoom.
Erin (15:05):
And it's very hard to get away from your screen. I understand that this hit to the head was the hit that I needed to tell myself, you need a break, your brain will function better and faster and it will also just make you feel more present in the conversations that you're having. So I've started setting a timer on my phone for an hour and 45 minutes. As soon as that timer goes off, if I'm in the middle of a meeting, I'll wrap it up and then I will take a 20 to 30 minute break where I have no screens. That's the most important part. I'm not looking at my email, I my personal email. I'm not scrolling Instagram, I am taking a walk. I am lying down or I am meditating or I'm, I'm doing something like making a snack or making lunch, but I'm not looking at my screen.
Erin (15:58):
It's really interesting with the brain injury, you really realize how much of your life, especially as an entrepreneur or in corporate America, revolves around screen time. It's quite disgusting. And I've actually gotten two sets of glasses. I have blue light glasses and I have these F1 41 glasses that were recommended to me by Ed Guest, a former guest on the show, Betsy McCann. And they've actually helped wonders in reducing the glare and this kind of squint that I have all day while looking at my screen. And they've also just helped me have a less aversion to light because light right now is really hard for me. Bright lights especially. So that has really helped. So scheduling breaks in your day, taking scheduled 20 to 30 minute breaks at least three times a day. Now yes, you get a lunch break at work, so you could take a full hour if that serves you.
Erin (16:56):
But I am telling you your brain needs this. I will implement this as much as possible moving forward because the way that I was doing things before was completely different. I would sit at my computer sometimes and forget to pee like I would hold my pee. This is gross. But I literally sit there because I was like, no, I gotta finish this email. Oh, I still hold it five more minutes. Gotta finish this email and then like run to the bathroom like a psycho and almost wet my pants because I wanted to finish an email. Basic human needs people get up. Allow yourself to relieve yourself and relieve your brain from screen time. It will help you in showing up to the next meeting that you're in. It will help you in showing up to that next email that you write. It will help you respond with a funny giffy in your Slack channel.
Erin (17:52):
Okay, try it. Step four. This is probably the most transformational of all of the steps. If you want to be more present in your life, I want you to find three words that define your it. We always say on the show, what is your it? What is your purpose? What three words are your guiding principles, your guiding values? In the keynote that I am doing currently called f Words at work, which has just been so fun to do, I don't swear, just so you know, hr, I help you learn how to do this. And essentially it is by overcoming this idea that we have to be everything to everyone. And so just to give you an idea of how I did this very, very super high level, I went through a really drastic period of time in 2020 as all of us did, and I transformed my life into three words, priorities, purpose, and peace.
Erin (19:06):
I like the alliteration for you. I want you to think about what are your three things, what are your three? Its what are the things that drive you forward in your day? And for me, that's my priorities. It's my purpose and it's the peace that I have. So I need all three of these things to function. And here's how I do this. I have a notes section of my phone, that little notes app in your phone. I take it out and every day I have the words, priorities, underlined, purpose, underlined and peace. And underneath each section I have one to two tasks that align with those three ideas. So for today, my priorities are to book some travel that I have from upcoming keynotes. And it is also to send an email to somebody that I know is gonna take a long time. So that's my priorities for my workday.
Erin (20:04):
My purpose are things that I know that I'm here to move needles and to move you. So those are things like working on this show, this podcast, working on my keynote and working on the book. So today my three bullets were an hour of the book. I had to write a couple things, the acknowledgement section, the dedication section. I also had to talk to a client about some upcoming keynote work. And I'm writing this show and recording it for you here today. So those are my purpose moments and in peace always involves exercise and meditation. In the morning, sometimes I'll do like a therapy session will be under peace, or if I go to an acupuncture section that will be under peace. I always have family time in the morning and in the evenings. So know that my purpose is also to be a wonderful wife and mother.
Erin (20:59):
Those things just always exist for me. I keep this list confined to the hours that I'm at work, which is eight 30 to five 30 most days. Okay? And I take breaks in there, right? I've extended my work day a little bit. I used to be more like eight 30 to five and I brought off at five. But I'm extending my day because I need these breaks. And now that I'm focusing on my priorities, purpose and peace, I know what needs to get done. Now here's the catch because my pattern in life was to constantly try to do all the things. I'm only sticking to one to two, maybe three bullets under each one of these things. Peace is its own category and it's not really work. So that means I have six bullets total of things that I need to accomplish in a day that fall under my purpose and under my priorities.
Erin (21:56):
Okay? Now this is a lesson learned from my dad who is an entrepreneur, had his own business for years, is actually, you know, getting ready to do all the things later in life that he should. He told me in that to-do list, always leave one thing that you can get done the next day. One thing because it doesn't need to get done. That's the thing. It doesn't have to get done. Who does it have to get done for? Usually it's you. And if you have a client deliverable or deliverable for a boss, you can talk to them and ask for extended time if necessary. Usually those things should be the first things that you tackle if it is a major deadline that you need to get done. But let me just tell you, this system started about a month ago and it has changed my workday and it actually makes me feel good when I look at the to-do list because I'm dedicating time to my purpose and I know my priorities and I'm gonna make peace also a priority on that list.
Erin (23:06):
Now if you wanna get real specific, I also have a friends and family note underneath my three Ps just with a friend or a family that I wanna reach out to. Right now I'm planning a friend's birthday party, so I need to reach out to a friend today to talk about that. Maybe it's, I wanna get in touch with a friend I haven't talked to in a long time, and hopefully I get to that. But that is a, okay, that's my evening time. I'll go, I'll text that friend. But during work, I'm just focusing on that purpose, those priorities, and I'm making sure I get my peace in before I do all of that, here comes step five. All right? This is so important. Now that you know your three words, you can use mine if you want. Priorities, purpose, and peace. If that feels right to you, use it.
Erin (23:55):
Anything that is not aligned with those three words, priorities, purpose and peace, I'm gonna outsource. I'm gonna give it away. I'm gonna find an expert who is smarter than me in that specific thing and ask for their help. I'm gonna hire a mentor. I'm gonna ask a teammate. I'm going to give away the things that I do not feel aligned with or that take time away from my purpose, priorities, and peace. Because this is streamlining my productivity, but it's also making me more present to my life's purpose. It's making me more present to the things that need to take place. And it's making me more present to my inner peace, which is my intention for this year is to find that. And what's interesting is I think that this wha to the head was the whap in the head. I needed, wow, full circle moment for me right there. You see, when I talk to you here, I'm teaching you, but a lot of times I'm teaching myself and I just realized that I wasn't actually fulfilling my intention for this year until right now you are witnessing an aha moment for you girl. I was not giving myself the peace that I needed in the past couple of months.
Erin (25:33):
So these five steps make you more awake and more alive and more aligned to your life's purpose, to your vision and goals. These are what work for me, okay? I'm just giving you what I know. So know that this is a work in progress and it could change in a month, but right now this is where I'm at and I hope at least one or maybe all five of these serve you in some way, shape, or form. So what I want you to witness is if you want to show up, if you want to be more present in your life, you have to start cleaning out your brain and only focusing on the things that serve you. Overwhelm happens when we have chaotic energy, when we're not in alignment with our assignment, when we're not driven by our purpose.
Erin (26:31):
I know now that this whap to the head again was here to serve me and hopefully to serve you. My brain is now filled with what drives my purpose. And that's writing a book which will come out y'all Feb 13th, 2024. It's Valentine's Day from your gal, okay? And let me tell you this, let me spoil it. The beginning of the book is all about self-love and I think the universe was really trying me or trying to get me to understand how to really give to yourself. Cuz I was talking about it all day, but making me actually do it and live it and breathe it. You funny universe, you are funny because that's what I'm doing right now. I'm doing the work, I'm the Guinea pig and I'm the teacher. So I hope today's episode serves you in some way, shape, or form. And if today didn't resonate with you, but you know it will resonate with someone else, please send them this episode.
Erin (27:43):
Especially if you know they're in this season of life where they're extremely overwhelmed. So let me recap the steps one more time. Sleep is your best friend. I know people, lemme say this, I have a four year old. I've gotten through the really ugly sleep stages, especially if you have friends who are new moms. There are ways to cope, but make sure sleep is a practice. Okay, we can go back to episode 180 6, all about the evening routine. Step two is making sure that you are putting in the right fuel for your body and cleansing your body of what it does not need at this season in life for you. Number three is take scheduled breaks. And this means no screens. And I wanna suggest for you to get some blue light glasses. I've been rocking them, I gotta tell you, I think I'm gonna keep this up.
Erin (28:29):
And also I've named them, okay, I've got two pairs. One has rose colored glasses, her name is Rose. And then I've got my other funky look and one who's kind of hipster. And her name is Juno. So I've got Rosen, Juno, I switch it up. I'm developing a new personality with both of them. It's great. Number four, I want you to find the words that define you. And if you want, you can take mine. Purpose, priority or priorities per and peace, priorities, purpose and peace. And then I want you to make that your to-do list. What are two to three things under your purpose? What are two to three things under your priorities? And how are you gonna give yourself some peace? And then anything that does not go on that list is outsource that step five, because we wanna make sure we are in line with our assignment, which for me is purpose, priorities, and peace and may be something different for you.
Erin (29:22):
But once we know what that is and we see things on that list that don't belong, we are giving it away. What you're witnessing is, is a full cleanse of your mind so that when you show up, you are showing up as the highest version of yourself. Because the only way to give to others is when you are showing up as yourself first. That's what the world needs. That's what the world wants. And I know you have this in you. So here's my ask. If today served you, please pass it on. And I want you to keep failing. Keep improving because you know that this world needs that very special it that only you can bring. I will see ya next time. Hey friend, did you enjoy today's show? If so, head on over to iTunes to rate and subscribe. So you never miss an episode. Now, did I mention that when you leave a five star review of the Improve It podcast, an actual team, a few does a happy dance? Mm-Hmm <affirmative>, that's right. So leave a review for us on iTunes, screenshot it and send me an email at info learn to improve it.com. I'll send you a personalized video back as a thank you. Thanks so much for listening. Improve It Peeps. I'll see you next Wednesday.