Episode 213: How Does a Navy SEAL's Story Teach Us Self-Leadership?
When we think about leadership, we often think about it as one person’s connection to a group of people.
In today’s episode, Erin and Navy SEAL, best-selling author, speaker, and coach Jason Redman talk about how leadership must start with leading ourselves first. Jason shares about the five buckets to attain self-leadership and how being able to talk about our failures is the only way we can know we’ve learned from them.
If you're looking for a new take on leadership and self-improvement—this is the episode for you.
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Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 213 Transcription
Erin Diehl (00:02.697)
I'm just kidding. Okay, you everybody just so you know, we're in for a treat. I am thrilled. I am honored. I am shooketh. We have Jason Redman on the Improve It podcast today. The crowd goes wild. Oh my god. Welcome to the Improve It podcast. Thank you for being here.
Jason Redman (00:17.238)
What up, what up? All right, what's up everybody?
Jason Redman (00:25.61)
Honored to be on. Thank you, Aaron, for having me and finding me and stalking me.
Erin Diehl (00:31.481)
Yes, we stalked and we said, please come many times. And then here you are, here you are. So thank you. And I will tell you, stalking was fun. There was, there's an interesting story there. And there's so much that I feel like you can give to our audience. And so everyone, you're welcome. Okay, you're welcome for the stalking. But I'm thrilled to have you on this show. It's November, we're talking about self-love and-
Jason Redman (00:37.496)
You're welcome.
Erin Diehl (00:59.945)
And you have just inspired so many people with this idea of self-love. Before we get started, is there one word, a one word intention that you could set for yourself to guide us through this conversation today? Is there one word that comes to mind?
Jason Redman (01:19.594)
Well, my main word is overcome. That is my favorite word. It is everything that I believe in, that I stand for. It is, to be human is hard. We're always gonna have problems. There's always gonna be adversity. We live in a world that is moving at light speed. Information, people, things, business, everything. And it's easy to get lost. It's easy to get lost. So we have to overcome those problems, but we also...
Erin Diehl (01:22.653)
Bye.
Jason Redman (01:48.446)
Like you said, we have to take care of ourselves. So, overcome is my word.
Erin Diehl (01:52.453)
love it. And I think that's a perfect word to guide us today. I want to talk about self-love. What do you when you think of those hyphenated words, okay, because they are hyphenated. What comes to mind for you?
Jason Redman (02:08.142)
I think self-love is you've got to. You have to lead the most important thing. I talk about leadership a lot. And most people, when they think of leadership, they think about our ability to influence other people, and there's a lot of truth to that. Leadership is largely that. But what people lose the mark on is the most critical part of leadership. And how I teach leadership is 75 percent, 70 to 75 percent of leadership is your ability to lead yourself. So in order to lead yourself.
Erin Diehl (02:35.687)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (02:36.758)
You've got to set goals. You've got to create structure and discipline in your life. You have to do the things to take care of yourself, to make sure you're the best version of yourself as a leader so that you're confident in yourself. That in turn enables you to lead others. So what does that mean? Well, in some ways, you got to be really good with your time management. You got to say no to a lot because there's going to be a lot of things that are distractions. And some people think, oh my God, you know, what a big meanie. I asked them to do this and they said, no, well, yeah. I mean,
You know who's phenomenal at this? Gary Sinise. Gary Sinise is a friend. Gary Sinise says no to so many things. Even me, I've asked him to do things. I'm an ambassador for his organization. I'll be like, Gary, would you be willing to do this? He's like, yeah, I love you, man, but no. He's like, it's just, I don't have the bandwidth. That's self leadership. It's recognizing this is the bandwidth of the things that I need to take care of. I have personal, professional, and physical. These are three buckets.
Erin Diehl (03:09.666)
Oh.
Erin Diehl (03:19.801)
Now, now.
Jason Redman (03:32.566)
And I only have so much time. So if I say yes to everything else, it starts to eat away at the things that I need to get done in those three buckets. And I think that's critical. I think it's something that everyone struggles with. So if my definition of self-love is lead yourself, make sure you're getting the things done in your life. You need to get done.
Erin Diehl (03:55.177)
Oh my God, I love it. And I like that you called it self leadership. And so it is, that's what it is. It's literally guiding yourself through discipline to love yourself more. So, okay, I have listened to several podcasts that you've been on. I have, I stalked you, as you know, I did some stalking just to prepare for this and to get you on the show. Okay, thank you so much. I'm gonna add it to my resume.
Jason Redman (04:15.074)
Yes. Thank you. It was great. You're a great stalker. Yeah. I mean, if anybody could stalk me, thank you.
Erin Diehl (04:25.393)
Yes, and thank you. Good. Okay. I'm glad we got here, but I will tell you in the stalking I found so many stories and when thinking about today, I was like, where do we start? Where do we go? So when you think of your journey to self-love if somebody never met Jason Redman until today How would you tell somebody you got to this place because you are a person that has
a lot of self-love. You can't teach self-love and self-leadership without having it. And sometimes, this is why I teach a lot about failure because I had to overcome it and through teaching, I was learning how to overcome it. So how did you get to this place of self-love and self-leadership? If you could give us like the Cliff Notes version, because I know there's so many amazing stories. What would you say is one of the ones that guided you the most here?
Jason Redman (05:25.722)
I'm a big failure. I mean, and I am not afraid to talk about it. And I think that's an interesting thing. Most people are afraid to talk about their failures. They're insecure, whether they want to admit it or not. I don't care how confident you are or how arrogant you are. If you're unwilling to talk about your failures, then that's still a sore spot. And maybe you didn't really learn from it. Instead, you want to hide it. I failed at a very high level. I almost got myself kicked out of the SEAL teams from poor leadership when I was a young,
junior officer and kept doubling down instead of people were trying to give me advice, but my arrogance and my ego got in the way and I would double down and just only listen to myself. You know, I'm right and recognizing I was still failing and making mistakes and double down with self-medication with alcohol, which then only made things worse because then I got known as a drunk.
And all of that culminated with a bad call on a mission in Afghanistan in 2005 that almost got me kicked out of the SEAL teams. I hit rock bottom, like gun in my mouth and a chair in Afghanistan, rock bottom. Thankfully, I didn't make that decision. And I had some individuals who believed in me, who said, we think you have the ability to be a great leader, but in order to do that, here's the path you're going to have to walk.
And it was the hardest road I've ever walked. It took about two and a half years to build back not only my own self confidence and belief in myself, but obviously I had to build back the confidence and respect and credibility with my teammates after making those mistakes, hardest road I've ever walked. But it's made me very to have very strong convictions in who I am. And I no longer worry about that. I mean, don't get me wrong. We all have the little doubts and the little demons in our head.
But I think what separates me from a lot of people is even though I may still have those doubts sometimes, it never stops me from going after what I believe in or what I think is a good idea. I could care less what the naysayers and the haters have to say because I've been through that walk. I've walked through the valley of naysayers and haters and they don't mean nothing. So that is probably one of the most powerful things. So my story is failure, redemption, catastrophic injury and recovery.
Erin Diehl (07:32.52)
Yep.
Erin Diehl (07:37.021)
That's right.
Jason Redman (07:46.432)
And there's a love story woven all the way through that whole story. So there's the Cliff Notes version.
Erin Diehl (07:49.741)
Okay, I'm so, I wanna touch on that. Erica, Erica is your wife?
Jason Redman (07:54.286)
the long haired Admiral Erica.
Erin Diehl (07:56.165)
Okay, tell us how your wife played a role in your recovery. And if you could tell us just what happened in a high level as well, and then how she played this role. I know it's hard to do.
Jason Redman (08:11.191)
She's a real pain in the butt. She's in the other rooms. Ha ha ha.
Erin Diehl (08:15.213)
Hey Erica! Hey Erica, we're talking about you literally behind your back, but it's good. It's good.
Jason Redman (08:20.874)
No, you know, we sit, we often say it, you hear it in society, behind every great man is a great woman or partner. I don't even think it's behind, I think it's beside, that is the critical thing. And for Erica, the LHA, long haired Admiral and I, we have walked side by side through our whole journey. And she, she's woven all the way through my first book, The Trident.
And because it was critically important to show this, what our military spouses go through, but also how she was so instrumental in my entire journey from my failure as a young leader, she was right there with me, supporting me, encouraging me to my catastrophic injuries in the hospital. She was my best nurse. She was ferocious, making sure that I was taken care of. You know, when they sent me home,
I was a hot mess, man. I was in a wheelchair. I had metal hardware coming all out of my body. I was traped, I'm wired shut. They're feeding me through a stomach tube. And, you know, we had young kids. We had a two-year-old, a five-year-old, and an eight-year-old. And then they sent home this man-child, this man-baby for her to take care of. And she never, ever bat in an eye, never.
Always positive, always encouraging, kept our family moving forward. And it's just continued from there. We've always just been together, the way we raise our kids, the way she's committed to my military career. After my military career, we launched our own business, a nonprofit. We navigated those waters together. We now run in our own businesses together. And it's just constant communication, shared dreams, attacking problems together.
So it's been an amazing journey. She is incredible. So much so I'm super excited. We signed a deal with Harper Collins earlier this year for our relationship book that will come out February 25 called Invincible Marriage. And we have defied all the odds. We 21 year military career together in special operations, 90% divorce rate for us, wounded warrior.
Erin Diehl (10:38.833)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (10:40.698)
85 to 90 percent divorce rate. We run our own business together. We've had major catastrophic things in our business and we've overcome them. I mean, those are three things that'll take down a marriage by themselves right there. And we have been through them. So, so many people have said, how have you guys done it? We finally wrote it all down and I'm excited for her to get out there, get her on stages, telling her story.
Erin Diehl (11:08.873)
Oh, that is awesome. Congratulations. That is huge. So, kongudos. And you said February, 2025. That's when we have release day. Okay. So you wrote it? It's in? Oh, yes. Yes. Okay, wait, let me ask.
Jason Redman (11:14.787)
Thank you.
That's right.
might come out on Valentine's Day. So I'm just saying hypothetically, you know, for all you, for all you, for all you, for all you lovebirds out there.
Erin Diehl (11:33.201)
And we got some, we got some out there. So wait, let me ask you this. Have you wrote the book? Has it already been written and it's being edited? Are you writing it?
Jason Redman (11:41.258)
No, we're still writing. We're still writing. So we've gotten all laid out and we're still writing. We've got a friend that's helping us write. If any of you are writing a book, I've written, this is now my fourth book. Having someone that helps you is huge. I'm a good writer, but having an editor and writer to help you or a ghostwriter to help you, I mean, they don't write the book. You obviously have to do a lot of writing and a lot of work, but they help you with the structure. They help you.
lay out your ideas correctly, they help you with the flow so that you know it's a team collaborative effort. So yeah, we will turn the manuscript in March so we're still working on it.
Erin Diehl (12:21.669)
Oh, that is so exciting. I just so you know, Jason, I am launching a book in February 2024. So I have been through this phase. Yeah, it is. It's
Jason Redman (12:30.73)
Boom! Well, we may need to help each other.
Erin Diehl (12:36.069)
we might need to help each other. I feel like this is good, this is happening. We're making this happen. I'm feeling the manifesting right now. Yeah, but I know, I mean, I'm sure from a relationship perspective, my book is a leadership book based on self-love, but I'm talking about some personal stuff in there as well. It's like standing naked on stage singing Celine Dion ballads. Like that's what I feel like releasing it into the world. And I'm sure that's probably, you've already written four.
Jason Redman (12:40.173)
Yeah.
I love it.
Jason Redman (12:52.942)
I love it.
Erin Diehl (13:06.289)
but I'm sure a relationship book is even more, you know, personal.
Jason Redman (13:06.486)
Well, in the Trident...
Yeah, because we talk about the hard part, but the Trident, I felt that when I released the Trident there, there are I love the fact that when people read the Trident, they will say, wow, if they don't know my story at all, what they say is that's not what I expected. Because most military special operations books are about the highlights of someone's career, you know, the exploits of combat. And I did all these amazing heroic things. And then they read my book and it's like, I f'd up.
Erin Diehl (13:23.752)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (13:38.518)
And they're like, whoa, what happened here? But people relate to it. And I love that. But when I released it, I will admit I was scared. I was like, oh, how is this going to go? Are people just going to throw me under the bus and be like? But it didn't. So Aaron, congrats to you. I tell people, talk about your failures. Whenever I interview someone for a job, that's one of the big questions I always ask. How did you fail? Tell me about a time you majorly failed. And if they give me some BS answer like, well,
Erin Diehl (13:43.398)
Yes!
Erin Diehl (13:47.176)
Yeah.
Erin Diehl (13:54.429)
Thank you.
Erin Diehl (14:02.781)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (14:07.686)
One time I lost my pencil and I had to find another pencil and that was a really hard time. I really messed that up. I'm like, what? Like I want to hear like ground shattering. You know, that one time I lost millions of dollars for the company and was fired and I had to go reinvent myself. That tells me so much more about someone than whatever successes they have written.
Erin Diehl (14:15.026)
Yeah.
Erin Diehl (14:22.324)
Yes!
Erin Diehl (14:29.865)
Oh my God, Preach Jason. Okay, you wanna know a fun fact just real quick and then I'm coming back to you. This podcast, the original name was called the Failed It Podcast. We had 50 episodes of the Failed It Podcast. It was a little bit of foreshadowing, if I'm being honest. And then we changed it to the name of, Improve It, the company I run. And it, you know, things change. But I will tell you, I love that you.
Jason Redman (14:35.682)
Senate.
Erin Diehl (14:57.021)
I love that you lean into it. I call it fail-fluencing, your influencing failure. And it just really makes me so happy that you were vulnerable enough to share your story, to come on shows like this, to step on the stages and to talk about it because every single person listening has their own version of a story that they can see themselves in your story. And it's, you're just making people feel less alone and to help them overcome.
which is your intention and I love it so much. But I wanna ask you another question.
Jason Redman (15:31.166)
Aaron, your podcast, so next year your podcast, and I mean, you're reaching the level that you're gonna change the name again, and it's gonna be called Killing It.
Erin Diehl (15:39.953)
Y'all watch out, okay? You're not, cause we call the audience the improve it peeps. It's gonna be the... I don't know, I don't know it's the same tone. I don't know. I gotta rethink that one. Jason, we're gonna have you back on to workshop that one. Okay, we're gonna need to workshop the name of the audience, but I like the title and I love that. Thank you, because it... That's it, that's it, that's it. Maybe we'll just change it for like the holidays and it can be like sleigh less S-L-E-I-G-H-I-N-G. I don't know, but okay.
Jason Redman (15:45.298)
It's gonna be the killers. All right, you know, maybe people aren't ready for that. Ha ha ha.
Jason Redman (15:57.23)
could be slaying it and the slayer, well maybe not. Ha ha ha.
Jason Redman (16:09.323)
I love it.
Erin Diehl (16:09.617)
Here's the deal, I'm excited to talk to you about self-love because you really do embody it in everything you do. And I love that you called it self-leadership. So I know, obviously you're a Navy SEAL, you were a Navy SEAL. So how in that time period, we're gonna take a step back. How in that time of your life, did you maintain a healthy sense of self-love and composure?
in such a high stress environment? Are there any techniques that you could give our audience of people leaders that could help them in their day to day?
Jason Redman (16:47.122)
I don't think I did, Aaron, I don't think I did when I was younger. When I was younger, I didn't do a very good job of taking good care of myself. I leaned way too hard into work, into, you know, probably way too much. The military is a hard drinking community, and I probably embraced that way too much. Nutrition, nor sleep, or anything that I ever really did a whole lot with.
Erin Diehl (16:52.336)
Okay.
Erin Diehl (16:57.362)
Yeah.
Erin Diehl (17:10.033)
Yeah, oh yeah.
Jason Redman (17:17.962)
So it was only later, especially after I made those mistakes, where I really got deep into self development and self leadership. And what are the things that are going to make me the best version of myself? And I didn't know these terms at the time. But when I wrote my second book, Overcome, I got deep into I had to peel back the undeniable and be like, wow, what made me successful, what were the tools that I put in place and actually to dissect all that?
And one of the things I realized was, you know, you were out of balance before that happened, but you got more balanced in five key areas. And the five key areas that I talk about are areas that I encourage every leader to put time and effort into. So this would be self love or self leadership, however you want to describe it. But those five key areas are what I call the pentagon of peak performance. If you want to achieve peak performance in your life as a leader, as a as a parent, as a business owner, whatever it is.
make sure you're putting time and effort in these five key areas. Number one, physical leadership. So that is sleep. A lot of us, we don't prioritize sleep. And I meet a lot of people who are only getting, you know, five hours or less. That's horrible for you. Science is proving that not only is it horrible, it is exponentially unhealthy. You need a minimum of six to seven hours or greater
Erin Diehl (18:30.297)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (18:43.47)
to flush out the damage that has occurred in your cells during the day. So if you're not getting that, guess what? You're exponentially higher risk for cancer, for heart disease, for diabetes, for stroke, all these different things, just by not getting enough sleep. So sleep, nutrition, eat good food, guys. Eat good foods. We live in a world where processed foods are so easy to get and we've become this diet, but it's really bad for you. And...
Number three, move your body. This amazing machine can do incredible things. If I'm 48, I've been all banged up. I'm like the Magnum PI GTO, except it's been wrecked and smashed in the frame's bent. And I've had like 67 paint jobs and the tires are balder than a bald man. So I definitely try and make it a high priority to move my body and take care. And then the last one is optimization.
Erin Diehl (19:23.046)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (19:39.65)
Thankfully, we live in a day and age where technology really enables us to optimize ourselves. Know your resting heart rate, know what your blood pressure is, get your blood panels done, you know, at least twice a year. And I work with a company, Core Medical Group, that helps me optimize my hormone levels, so I feel the best, you know, this rec Ferrari, you know. I mean, maybe I can't compete with a 2024 Ferrari, but I do okay, so.
Erin Diehl (20:06.149)
You do great, you do great. I mean, okay, so, and I'm having just full transparency to our team here, I'm having a technical issue, but there she is, she's back. So, okay, let me tell you this. All those five things, I feel like there are things that we hear to do all the time, but we just, they're easier said than done. And I remember listening to you on another show and you were talking about sleep and you're talking about the people who are part of the 5 a.m. club who just.
They're like, I get up early to exercise and eat well, and then I'm only getting five hours of sleep. They're missing the point, right? Because I think a lot of people, like overachievers, they're like, I wanna be this early riser. I wanna wake up and do all those things. And the sleep part is one of the things that could benefit them if they just did that only the most, right?
Jason Redman (20:56.294)
It is true. It would benefit you tremendously, or it would give you an exponential return on your workouts and your nutrition and optimizing your hormones, because you can do all three of those things, but if you're not getting good sleep, you're wasting your time in the gym. You're wasting that good food because your body doesn't have the time to heal itself and grow and repair. So...
Yeah, and guys, I'm guilty. I mean, I try my goal is to get seven hours sleep at night. Frequently, I run an insane schedule. I will do over 100 events this year. So I live on it. I often say airlines live to mess with my sleep. I honestly think like, I think Delta and American and United, I think they have a little thing like, hey, let's delay this flight so Jay Redmond only gets three hours of sleep tonight.
Erin Diehl (21:34.982)
Mmm.
Erin Diehl (21:40.291)
I'm sure.
Jason Redman (21:51.35)
Like it's one of their goals. I'm convinced of this. But but physical leadership, mental leadership. So read, challenge your beliefs, constantly be consuming knowledge. Never accept that if someone comes and tells you something, don't accept it as fact, especially in this crazy world we're living in. Go researchers to research it yourself and flex your mental muscle. So mental leadership, social leadership. I mean, I'm sorry, emotional leadership. How well do you manage your emotions? How well are you aware?
Erin Diehl (21:54.744)
Oh
Jason Redman (22:21.714)
and project that positivity, not allowing your emotions to drive your decision-making. You drive your decision-making and you learn how to regulate your emotions. This is my hardest one. I struggle with this. Yeah.
Erin Diehl (22:33.381)
Wait, can we stop on this one? Can we dive on this one? Because I need a tip for that. Cause that literally, I'm selfishly, I'm sorry. I look to my microphone like people are there. This one is for me, okay? And hopefully y'all can take something away. So.
What is something right there with the emotional leadership that if you're in the middle of the meeting and somehow your blood, you know, when your blood starts to like rise and you feel the anxiety and your armpits get really sweaty, like I literally felt like I was having a small heart attack and I was like, oh, I'm so frustrated right now. And I was disappointed in myself in the way that I showed up in that meeting. What was, is there a tool that you could give me specifically that can help our audience?
to calm down in that moment.
Jason Redman (23:18.222)
So one is awareness. I mean, you know, we can't totally change who we are. We can get better at it. Emotionally, I'm the same, Aaron. I've had those moments in meetings where I'm ready to explode. You know, the social hand grenade's about to go off. And thankfully, I try and catch myself. And if I know, I call it the teapot.
Erin Diehl (23:32.678)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (23:40.402)
We all know when a teapot, if you're watching water boil, it's little bubbles and then it becomes bigger bubbles and then there are the great big violent bubbles. And if it's in a teapot, that's when it starts to whistle. That steam is accumulated to cause it to whistle. We don't wanna ever let it whistle. When I whistle, that means I just exploded on someone and that damages your credibility as a leader.
And not only that, we all feel stupid when we do it. You walk away afterwards and I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe that. So I frequently, number one, if I recognize that's happened, I'll step out, I'll just say, hey man, I need to go take a break, I'll be back. I'll go outside, I'll walk, I'll do things to try and bring down my boiling water at that point.
Erin Diehl (24:02.141)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (24:26.478)
If I can't walk away, then I'll try and do some breathing exercises. If you look up box breathing, that's a good thing. You're supercharging your brain with oxygen and getting a paced breathing that helps manage our heart rate and our emotional state. So those are things that I will do. Working out helps out tremendously for me. Your cortisol levels and your adrenaline build up if you're not working out. If you don't. So if you've had bad sleep.
Erin Diehl (24:32.807)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (24:55.714)
B, you're not working out, diet plays a part in all of this. They're going to be higher. So if you work out every day, it helps manage those things. You're actually going to be able to manage and regulate your emotions better if you're taking care of yourself. So that's why I always tell people physical leadership is number one. Talk about self love. You should be prioritizing your physical leadership almost above everything else.
Erin Diehl (25:14.867)
Yeah.
Erin Diehl (25:20.593)
I love it. Okay, I'm very curious. This is just pure curiosity. What is your workout routine? What do you do for that physical leadership?
Jason Redman (25:33.294)
So I used to do a lot of really hardcore workouts, but I'm getting older and science isn't necessarily saying that's the best. I mean, if you look at some of these people, you know, the Crossfitters that are out there, it's just HIIT exercises every day. Strength training, it's a combination for me of strength training, functional fitness, long form cardio, and then usually,
Erin Diehl (25:43.771)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (26:02.754)
once a week, I'm putting in some HIIT type cardio. For me, that's either running, rowing, or swimming, but oftentimes it's at a much slower pace. So sometimes if I'm swimming, I may swim for an hour, but all I'm doing is spinning. You know, I'm laying on my back and my heart rate's only about 120, 125, but I'm maintaining that heart rate that entire time. And scientists and medicine is proving that is significantly better for you over the long run for cardiovascular health.
It may not, you know, if you're working on improving, if you wanna run faster, improve your cardiovascular performance, then yes, you are going to have to push yourself and do some more of that HIIT training. But I'm not doing a whole lot of that anymore. I'm trying to maintain myself at the highest level. I wanna look good, I wanna feel good. And when I do the New York swim or if I do the Murph, I wanna be able to perform those things and do okay.
Erin Diehl (26:59.817)
That's awesome. I know I'm 40 and I feel like it's like, now I'm just like, if I could just go outside and walk for 30 minutes, like that does a difference too. You know what I mean? It's like, I used to think I had to like sweat for 30 minutes to an hour and you know, be like heart breathing, but I really think it's just getting outside and moving in some way, shape or form or inside.
Jason Redman (27:21.714)
It's so true and something is always better than nothing. If all you can do is 10 minutes every day, then good, do it. Most people will be like, oh, I don't have time because I don't have an hour. Man, frequently, even this morning I had a lot going on and I was like, I got to get a workout in. So, I mean, it wasn't normally a workout for me as an hour to an hour and a half, depending on what I'm doing. But this morning it was only about 30 minutes, but that's the time I had. So instead of saying, oh, I don't have the time, I'm not going to do it. Make time.
That's self love.
Erin Diehl (27:52.809)
That's self love, that's self love. And I went, okay. And that makes total sense to me. And I think a lot of people listening, I hope that you take that away, that you realize that just being kind to yourself and giving yourself movement in the form of a walk can change the course of your day. It can make you calmer in those meetings. It could just change your body chemistry and you're giving us so much good information, Jason. I wanna talk a little bit more about just...
Jason Redman (28:21.234)
Can I throw one, Aaron, let me throw one last thing in on physical leadership, sleep and all these things. Alcohol is a killer. But I'm not I'm not someone that I have friends, you know, you have the extremists out there now. They're like, I've given up alcohol forever. You know what? I like having a drink, man. I like. Yeah. So I'm probably never I'll go through periods where I'll stop drinking. Maybe if I am training hard for something. But I will say you need to be very careful of.
Erin Diehl (28:23.663)
Yeah!
Erin Diehl (28:29.171)
Oh, yes.
Erin Diehl (28:38.225)
Me too! Yes!
Jason Redman (28:50.122)
If you need to perform, like you need to do something well the next day, I would work on cutting alcohol out, you know, early, like maybe a glass of wine no later than five o'clock because it is going to impact your sleep and alcohol is a depressant. So it's going to affect your emotional state for believe it or not, actually a couple of days. So
Erin Diehl (29:11.642)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (29:12.438)
And that's a hard thing for many of us because we all want to deal with stress. So it's natural to self medicate. We all like it. It makes us feel a little better. But I would be very careful regulating it. And if you're drinking every night, you are supremely impacting your sleep and your body's ability to optimize. It's impacting your physical gains from any of the workouts you're doing. So I've cut way back. I'm never going to totally cut it out. But so.
Erin Diehl (29:38.567)
Yeah.
You know, and let me say this, I just actually did an episode on it recently, short version, had a concussion this summer, and it really, it was, I had post-concussion syndrome. And so I had to really reevaluate a lot in my life because I didn't have brain capacity to do a lot. And I definitely had to really examine my relationship with alcohol.
and I realized what a crutch it has been in for me in my life. So I have a lot of friends who are doctors. The now recommended amount of alcohol per week is two glasses, but it used to be seven, okay? So that Jason is my, it's seven over the course of a week, not in a day, but like if I have a couple drinks one night and no more than three at a time is my new role. Because if I hit seven,
Jason Redman (30:33.642)
And try and do it earlier, try and do it earlier. So truly happy hour is a good thing because the closer you are to bedtime, the more it's going to impact. I wear a whoop, it's a optimization monitoring device. And I tell you what, alcohol, nothing impacts my sleep worse than alcohol. And the closer to bed that I had a drink,
Erin Diehl (30:36.87)
Yes!
Erin Diehl (30:46.112)
Oh yeah.
Jason Redman (31:00.098)
the worse it impacts. I won't get REM sleep, which means now it's really impacting. It negates your deep sleep. So you basically go into this really light sleep state and that those aren't the areas you need to be to really feel the best. So
Erin Diehl (31:15.525)
Totally. Oh, okay. That's a good advice. Happy hour, everyone. No, I'm so into it too. And it's that's part of self love is recognizing boundaries. Like, you know, and I heard Maya Angelou said this, I did not say this, but she said everything in moderation, including moderation. And that stuck with me for a long time.
Jason Redman (31:19.046)
I'm a big nerd. I can get into all that stuff. So
Erin Diehl (31:39.981)
because I also thought for a minute, I was like, oh, maybe I'll stop drinking. No, I love wine. I enjoy wine with food. I love it. I like a cocktail at the end of a hard day, but evaluating why I'm drinking it, is it to numb or is it to just relax and have fun? Those reasons are very different. So, you know, I could get into that could be a, we'll have you back Jason for round two alcohol episode because I could get into it too.
Jason Redman (32:05.922)
All right, I love it. Ha ha, okay.
Erin Diehl (32:09.905)
We're going to talk through that, but I have, I have, this is where I want.
Jason Redman (32:12.19)
I have two more points of the Pentagon and peak performance. I'll just blow through them. Social leadership, how do you build the rings of, how do you build your teams? So there are four teams around us at any given time. Our external work relationships, these are people we work with, but maybe we don't have a, we're not necessarily friends with. Then we have our work acquaintances. These are people we work with where we're actually friends with them. Then we have our close friends or neighbors or people that we spend time with outside of work. And then bam.
Erin Diehl (32:16.801)
Yes! Yes, sorry I cut you off in the-
Jason Redman (32:41.654)
the bullseye as your direct family. This is spouse, partner, kids, mom, dad, brother, sisters, best friends. In this life, we typically, especially in Western culture, we put so much time and effort into those two outermost rings, work and work acquaintances. And we take for granted the innermost rings. Take the time to make sure you are putting time and effort into those two innermost rings because
We never know when the world gets turned upside down. And I've watched a lot of individuals when they go through trauma, a traumatic event, that those innermost rings, if they were taking them for granted, they break. So that makes sure you're being intentional with your time with those innermost rings. And then the number five is spiritual leadership. What are you doing to get outside yourself? For some people it can be faith, for others...
Erin Diehl (33:19.58)
Yeah.
Jason Redman (33:33.81)
I would highly just encourage you to do things, whether it's meditation, breathing exercises, giving back through charity, getting out into nature, whatever you're doing that enables you to get out your side yourself and recognize the problems you have. There's so much, there's so many more bigger problems out there in the world than what you're dealing with. If all you ever do is focus on that, that's weak spiritual leadership. Strong spiritual leadership is recognizing you're just this tiny speck in the universe.
Those problems will be there tomorrow. They'll be there the next day. You may fix them, you may never not, but recognize this big, big world. You're not alone, you're not unique, and there are other people who have worse problems than you.
Erin Diehl (34:17.113)
Yeah, oh, I love that. And I want to touch on the charity aspect because you have a nonprofit Wounded Ware, right? And so, not anymore.
Jason Redman (34:25.13)
Not anymore. We phased it down. Yeah, so we phased it down. Obviously there were a lot of people. It was an amazing organization. We grew it to a $3 million organization. We helped thousands and thousands of wounded warriors. We provided clothing and clothing modification. We did incredible events. But in 2017, I was noticing a trend. We were losing more and more warriors to suicide. I'd lost several friends to suicide.
And in 2017, we were gearing up for, I was running a leadership program for wounded warriors as part of our program. It was called the Overcome Academy back then. And a good friend of mine who was a EOD warrior, he had done like 26 years, a lot of combat deployments, really struggling with traumatic brain injury. And he was gonna go through our program and.
He was super excited to go and two weeks before the program, he took his life. And it was at that point that I realized, you know what, man, our organization wasn't focused on post traumatic stress or traumatic brain injuries and there's twenty six thousand better. There were back then twenty six thousand veteran nonprofits. I don't know where we're at now, but I said, you know what? I'm not going to try and pivot and recreate our own organization when there are some great ones out there already doing that. So I made the decision to phase it down in 2018.
Erin Diehl (35:25.682)
Mm.
Jason Redman (35:51.546)
I'm now an ambassador with the Gary Sinise Foundation. I am on the board for Concussion Legacy Foundation, which is focused on TBI and CTE. So we are big time into research and trying to understand right now, severe TBI and CTEs, many of the veterans that are taking their lives post-mortem, including my best friend, we are finding CTE.
which is scarring at a cellular level in the brain, which leads to erratic behavior, impulsive decision making and things like this. So there's no way to diagnose it and there's no way to treat it yet. So Concussion Legacy Foundation, that's one of their big initiatives is we are trying to study it and understand it.
Erin Diehl (36:40.625)
You know what, I asked a question that led us to like the most beautiful answer and I'm so grateful. I told you, I mean, clearly I don't have any PTSD from something that has impacted me on a military level, but I had a concussion and it was a long lasting concussion that definitely challenged my mental health on a real level and I'm so grateful as a survivor
on the other side. I am so grateful because it was so eye-opening to me that how little research is done on concussions and it's so wonderful that there is an organization doing that and helping people because
I started opening up about it myself and have helped other people along the way. And I just know, I wish I had more people helping me through that process. And I'm so grateful that exists. I wish I knew about it a few months ago.
Jason Redman (37:39.33)
Yeah, Aaron, I mean, that's a great point. If anybody has had a head injury or traumatic brain injury or they're going through one, Concussion Legacy Foundation, go on our website, concussionlegacyfoundation.org, and we actually have trained individuals who can answer questions and help steer you in the right direction if you're suffering from some of the issues caused by concussion. So we have a hotline for it.
Erin Diehl (38:06.745)
That is amazing. And Jason, you just keep doing amazing things. You're a New York Times best seller and many times, right? How many times?
Jason Redman (38:18.323)
I'm a one-time New York Times bestseller and I am an Amazon bestseller with my second book.
Erin Diehl (38:25.233)
That is amazing. I mean, that's a huge, huge accomplishment. You have done so much to give back to the world, your communities, and I'm so grateful that you are here. Is there anything that we didn't talk about when it comes to self-love that you would like to leave our audience with? If anybody out there listening is really feeling low and could use one piece of advice from you, what would you want to give them?
Jason Redman (38:54.198)
You know, it's a crazy world we're living in. I'll finish with just two. One, I think what's enabled me to have a level of confidence in my life from where I've gone is I think everyone there's a balance in this life. And most people, we don't know where we fall. So some people are naturally leaders.
but they're not warriors. And some people are warriors, but they're not leaders. And some people are entrepreneurs, but they're neither of the other two. But I really encourage everybody to put a little time and effort into those three areas. If you wanna build your confidence, work on being a better leader. And you don't have to run a company or anything like that. If you're a parent or you just go volunteer in an organization, you can grow and flex your leadership muscles. It's a dangerous world we're living in. Train a little bit.
Go do some martial arts. Go do something that gets you out of your comfort zone. One, it builds your physical leadership. Two, it builds your mental leadership. Three, hopefully you're better prepared for the crazy dangerous world we live in, but it'll really help build your self-confidence in yourself. It'll be amazing how much more you're willing to do. Three, become an entrepreneur. Even if you have a main job, do something else. Start looking at diversified income streams. It's going to build your...
financial leadership and it's going to make you realize, wow, I, instead of just depending on someone else to pay that paycheck, you know, you may still do that, but get that side hustle. Feel what it is to be an entrepreneur. It's pretty cool when you're driving your ability to bring in some additional revenue. Those three things, you will gain so much more confidence. And
I really encourage you guys to do them. You'll procrastinate. You'll say, I'd like to do that, but I'm not going to do that. I'll do that tomorrow. I'll do it next week. I'll do it next year. And guess what? That'll turn in a year after year after year after year. And take it from a guy who laid there and faced death. When you get to the end, you will think back on all those things you procrastinate and wish you did. And most of us don't get a second chance. I'm living a second chance. I look death in the face and I said, I wish I had done this. I wish I had done that. I wish I had said I love you more. And now.
Jason Redman (41:06.946)
I am doing those things. So don't be like me. I got a second chance. Most of us don't get that, man. You got to live greatly. Go after those things and go kill it.
Erin Diehl (41:19.025)
Oh my God. Okay. Well now she's crying. We're ending the show with tears. That is amazing. And I have to tell you like truly, you are a, you, the overcoming that you have done in your life in the fact that you're using the second chance to have this platform for good and to help others is so wonderful. So thank you, Jason, for coming on the show. Thank you for shedding your light. Thank you for being you and sharing your story. We are so grateful.
Jason Redman (41:48.614)
Aaron, my honor, much, much love everybody. Say I love you more. We need it. All you alphas out there, try it. Let it.
Erin Diehl (41:52.337)
What's that? What's that?