How to Become a Selfless Leader Through Self-Love
WRITTEN BY ERIN DIEHL | 3 Minute Read
The funny thing about self-care is that you have to defend it with phrases like, “Self-care isn’t selfish.” In reality, self-care is a mandatory start and end to each day that allows you to create a safe space within yourself, fuel that space with energy, and then give this energy to others.
Trying to give energy to others before giving energy to yourself is like trying to start a car without putting gas in the tank. We’re sure you can think of some more fun analogies, too.
Also, it must be said: Folks don’t leave jobs, they leave leaders. The top contenders for making employees want to run? Leaders who try to give with an empty tank or who don’t give at all. Here are two steps to giving to yourself first so you can give to others:
Step 1: Put Energy into Yourself First
We’re not here to tell you to join the 5 AM club and start a 60-minute meditation practice, but we are here to tell you that the timing of your self-care practices matters.
Stop and ask yourself this question: When you first wake up in the morning, who do you give to?
If you check your phone first thing (which we’re definitely guilty of), you’re giving to that person who sent you an email.
Once you have your answer, think about how you can give to yourself first in a realistic manner that makes sense for you.
For example, instead of checking your phone first thing, use an alarm clock and challenge yourself to complete a short walk and 5-minute meditation before you give to anyone else. Do what you personally like–no one’s forcing you to journal if it’s not your thing.
If you give to yourself first, you’ll be able to give to others because the energy you put into yourself is a direct correlation to the energy you have available to give to others.
15% to yourself (stretched for 2 minutes) → 15% to others (can give helpful feedback)
100% to yourself (walk + meditation) → 100% to others (lead with authenticity and energy)
So, ask yourself…what are the morning practices that are going to charge you up to 100% ?
Step 2: Unlock Self-Less Leadership to Retain and Attract Top Talent
When you practice a consistent morning ritual that allows you to give to yourself first, you will have the capacity required to genuinely serve others, practice empathy, and listen well. Simply put, by being “selfish” you can be selfless in your leadership.
When others feel this from you, they’ll be inspired to give to the team and organization as well. Think of it as a ripple effect. When your team and organization flows with this energy, it becomes a place where folks want to show up fully, not abandon.
Remember, people don’t leave jobs, they leave leaders. Here’s a simple formula that helps illustrate this, too:
When you create this culture it will be noticeable, talked about, and sought after. Not only will you retain top talent, but you’ll attract it as well.
I See U
All in all, if you take away one thing from this post it’s this: give to yourself first so that you can give to others. There’s no other way (even when we try to tell ourselves we’re exempt).
Challenge yourself to create a morning ritual that charges you up to 100%, especially when elements out of your control make you want to skip it. Make that safe space you create and maintain within yourself your top priority and see what happens as a result.
And if you’re looking to bring this concept into your organization, check out the links below to learn about our I See U keynote that will teach you how to bring a magnetic culture to fruition into your organization and your life.
ABOUT ERIN
Erin “Big” Diehl is a Business Improv Edutainer, Failfluencer, and Professional Zoombie. Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn, play, and grow.
She is the proud host of The improve it! Podcast, which helps develop leaders and teams through play, improv and experiential learning. Among her many accolades, Erin is most proud of successfully coercing over 35,000 professionals to chicken dance.