Episode 121: Let Go of Your Leadership-Limiting Beliefs - How Improv Improves Your Confidence
In this episode, Erin dives into tactical improv strategies that teach you how to improve your confidence and push those limiting beliefs to the side! The four tips she provides will instill confidence and equip you for the next time that fear and anxiety strike.
In this episode, you will hear:
Examples of Erin’s own limiting beliefs and the tools she uses to overcome them
Mindset shifts to help you kick out limiting beliefs and breathe in confidence
How improv improves your leadership and overall self esteem
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Connect with Erin Diehl:
Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 121 Transcription
Erin (00:00):
Are you a leader or change maker inside of your business, organization or corporation? Are you looking for new, innovative ways to drive morale through the roof? Are you looking for fun and exciting icebreakers, team building exercises, and activities that will foster team growth, friendships, loyalty, and completely transform your organization from the inside out? Have you been searching for a fun and unique way to create change instead of the same old, dry, boring leadership books and ice breakers that aren't actually working? Hi, I'm Erin Diehl, business improv edutainer, failfluencer, and professional zoombie who is ready to help you improve it. My mission in life is to help you develop teams and leaders through play, improv and experiential learning. In this podcast, we will deep dive into professional development, team building, effective communication, networking, presentation skills, leadership training, how to think more quickly on your feet and everything in between. We have helped everyone from fortune 500 companies to small mom and pop shops transform their business, their leadership, and their people through play. So grab your chicken hat. We are about to have some fun, welcome to improve it! the podcast.
Erin (01:35):
Welcome to the show improve it! peeps. I am so happy that you are here, today's topic is something I think that we all go through. We're talking about letting go of your leadership-limiting beliefs, and I'm gonna give you four ways that improv improves your confidence. Now I just wanna be real clear. This is a self-motivated shift. I have limiting beliefs. I know you have limiting beliefs. And I know that if I'm struggling with them, we all are...that it's something that we talk about, but we don't really talk about it, it’s sort of taboo because we see these really confident people walking around and we're like, oh, they are the most confident person in the world. How do they do what they do? And then behind the scenes, that person has all the same doubts, all the same fears and has found ways to overcome them. So that's what I hope today's episode does is really just gives you some really tactical ways that you can use improv to improve your confidence and let those limiting beliefs step to the side sister.
Erin (02:53):
So first I wanna just start off with something that I am personally dealing with as it comes to limiting beliefs. I like to think of myself as a butterfly. Okay. Sometimes I step into my cocoon and I merge in there for a little bit. And then I transform. I like to think this happens every decade or so. And I am in the midst of a transformation right now, personally, professionally, obviously having a kid was a huge transformation. So I might have gone through more transformations in my thirties, but I will be 40 next year. My thirties were spent building this business, building improve it, finding myself as a leader, finding the people who make up this amazing team, finding and attracting the very best clients in the entire world. And what I know to be true is that we should always be evolving, evolving, I should say, evolving, evolving, and we should always be changing.
Erin (04:09):
And I'm going through a very personal and professional transformation right now. I am creating more keynotes on an individual basis. So improve it! has always just been workshops and we've done keynotes, but they've been myself plus the team. So I have always facilitated with at least one member of my team present. I have done some like a couple of keynotes here and there, but honestly they scared the living patoodle out of me. So I'm like, okay, that's what I should do because it scares me. So I am now stepping into more of a keynote speaker role. And let me tell you, I was creating, I, we have a keynote that I've been doing for a while virtually. I'm now doing it in person. It's called F words at work. That's right. There's a whole podcast about it, but it's about failure and overcoming failure, which is a funny enough topic that I'm having limiting beliefs when talking about failure.
Erin (05:15):
But I was working on this keynote probably for a full day and have been really talking about this evolution and how this is the next level of improvement and where I'm stepping into and where we wanna go. And in life I felt pretty confident about it. I was like, yeah, this is it. This is what we need to do. This is where I'm supposed to go, where the team...where I can support the team is by reaching larger audiences and telling more people about improve it. And I gotta tell you, I, I thought I was money. I thought I was rocking it. I thought I was ready and sure enough, that subconscious comes out when you least expect it. So Saturday of this week, I'm recording this on a Wednesday. I was in a hotel with my family. We, we were in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for just an overnight visiting a friend.
Erin (06:09):
And I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating, breathing really heavy. Thinking I'm having a heart attack, which I later found out was a panic attack. And I had no clue why this happened, but prior to going to bed, my best friend--who I was there visiting--and I had had conversations about this evolution and where I was going. So I didn't really think anything of it. I was just like, okay, maybe this is just a random thing. Well, this week on Tuesday, I spent the entire day, no yesterday, Monday, sorry. I spent the entire day working on this keynote and redeveloping it creating new material. And then I went to bed very peacefully and you know, essentially did a meditation, felt very unstressed woke up in the middle of the night, again, cold sweats, heart beating, feeling like I'm about to die.
Erin (07:09):
If I'm being honest. And I had to use all of my breathing techniques and my mindfulness practice to calm myself down. And so this is self-diagnosed, but I know that those are nocturnal panic attacks created by my subconscious. And I really started thinking about it and digging a little bit deeper. I do have limiting beliefs when it comes to stepping out as a keynote speaker, I've always had the support of my team with me. So this is something that I'm doing on my own. What if no one likes me? What if I get booed off stage? What if people think I'm a fraud? So I'm sharing this information with you because limiting beliefs can show up in different ways, anxiety and things that give us fear can show up in our subconscious. And maybe it doesn't look the same as it does for me, but maybe it shows up in your life as I don't like this role, I don't deserve this role.
Erin (08:11):
My team hates me as a leader. I'm not good enough to speak on this panel at work. I'm not good enough to show up and be a guest on this podcast, which by the way, you'll be surprised how so many guests that we've had on this show have had the exact same fear. I won't be able to keep up with the new pace of this new job. I don't have insert degree, this experience, whatever it might be, whatever your limiting belief is, know that you're not alone and that it's okay. And that even the most confident people in the world have these limiting beliefs.
Erin (08:50):
So I started really thinking about where I'm going, this transformation and how it has manifested itself in the form of nocturnal panic attacks. And I thought back to 10 years ago, when I first started improve it or had the idea and started really getting the wheels spinning to create this business. And the same thing happened then (now I didn't wake up having panic attacks). I was more living in a state of panic every single day. And I've learned since creating improve it, how to calm my mind during the day, how to be more mindful and practice breathing techniques, all of that. But back then, I really had no techniques. I was just reactionary to everything. So I literally was panicked back in 10 years ago about this business. I, who am I to create this business? What is the improv community in Chicago going to think about me, somebody who's not necessarily, you know, SNL criteria.
Erin (09:56):
What are my friends gonna think about me? Because I'm not as available as I used to be. What if this fails? What is my family gonna think? I started smoking cigarettes again. Okay. I did that in college. Just fun fact, but I smoked cigarettes because I was freaking out and I was so stressed and I kept that stress on me. I just wore the stresses like this badge every day, the stress meant that I was doing things. The stress meant I was busy and all it really was doing was just making me more reactionary and less thoughtful about the work that I was doing. So I really had to think back to this time, because 10 years ago, that is exactly how I felt. And now 10 years later, I'm sitting here with this amazing business and team and wonderful list of clients, this podcast, this community we have here.
Erin (10:50):
And I thought about all of the fears I had when starting improve it. And then what transpired? So I was afraid no one would come to this soft launch that we had, where we showcased our teams of people and people did show up. I was afraid we weren't going to have clients. Guess what? It took six months for one client inquiry to come in. And then we entered this contest in Chicago called the Red Eye Big Idea Awards. And that's really where we started to feel some momentum. But even then I was terrified and petrified of being a part of this contest, cuz what if we lose? And we ended up winning and then the tables turned, we had this momentum, but again, through all of this, there were these limiting beliefs that I'm not good enough. I don't deserve this. Who am I to run this business?
Erin (11:41):
And so I thought back to that time and I said, you know what? I've been through this before and to take a line from Glennon Doyle's book, I Can Do Hard Things. Yes I can. Yes I can. So what I want you to do right now is I want you to think of the hard things that you've done in your own life. Maybe you've run a marathon, a triathlon, maybe you've had a child. Maybe you have lost a parent or a loved one and had to overcome the grief. Maybe you have done something that you never thought that you were able to do. But when you look back, you're like, wow, I have so much pride because that was so hard. And I did that. I want you to think about that. And that's, this is sort of preaching to myself right now. I really had to say, I have done these hard things before and I will do them again.
Erin (12:34):
And so in this 10-year span, I've, like I said, have really collected a mindfulness practice. And I've learned so much from improv as an art form. And this has really helped me increase my confidence and allow myself--when those limiting beliefs step in to say—to sit down, okay, I'm in charge. So I want to share those four very awesome lessons from improv that will help you overcome these limiting beliefs in the moment. First lesson that I love so much from improv is as you know, no mistakes, only gifts (fail-yeah, as we say on this show). So man, I have failed way more times than we've succeeded. In, in the past 10 years of this business, I started a class at the very beginning of improvement where I wanted people to sign up after work, to do our improv workshops. Two people signed up. So I had to turn that into coaching, which was also a blessing.
Erin (13:41):
So that wasn't a mistake, I looked at it as a gift. I failed at the very beginning of the pandemic to really create a roadmap. I was super reactionary. We created a membership program that was awesome, but had its flaws. I failed with the first set of virtual workshops that we did. We had so many things that we needed to tweak and figure out in order to make them what they are today. The Mastermind--I'm gonna tell y'all something. This is real talk, get ready. Let's hold hands. This is a moment. Give me your hand. Okay. There it is. If you are a listener of this show, you heard me talk about our Mastermind program. Remember that? Guess how many people signed up for that guy. Big fat goose egg, big fat, zero goose. So, and I have to tell you I'm actually relieved because the timing was not appropriate for us.
Erin (14:41):
We had so much other things going on. So that was a failure. And from all of these things, I have learned that these aren't mistakes, that they are gifts. So I'm telling myself, what is the fail that I'm going to have when it comes to keynote speaking? Oh, there's going to be many. So get ready to fail and fail frequently. Cuz it means that I'm trying and then find the gift in that. What is the lesson that I've learned? So here's what I want you to do. If you have that limiting belief in your mind right now, those things swirling in your brain that you keep—unfortunately--telling yourself, I want you to ask yourself what is the worst that could happen? And then what would the gift in that be? How can I learn from this quote unquote mistake, which is not a mistake, it's actually a gift.
Erin (15:40):
So first lesson: no mistakes, only gifts. Second lesson I love from improv is this notion of yes, and. And, yes, and as you know from listening to the show is such a fantastic rule. It means, yes, I hear you. And, and I'm going to add to the conversation. I'm going to listen. I'm going to postpone judgment. So yes, and is such an important rule of the theater I decided I'm going to yes, and myself. So let me just explain what that means. Number one, I'm gonna postpone judgment. Give myself grace when grace is due. So when I woke up two nights ago with the sweat and the heartbeat and the panic attack, I said to myself the next morning, once I finally went back to sleep, I'm gonna book a massage. Yes I am. Yes I am today. And I'm gonna go during lunch.
Erin (16:40):
And I did that. And I did not feel an ounce of guilt because I have to yes, and myself--as you know--to give to others, I gave myself grace this morning because it was the night after I, I was actually afraid to go to bed. Cause I was nervous. I was gonna wake up and have a panic attack. And so I actually got one of the best nights of sleep I've had in forever. And I slept in an hour. I slept in an hour later than I normally do and my body needed it. And I feel so much better and I feel invigorated. And I feel like that's the thing that my body needed to reset. So yes, anding myself helps me get my mind and my body in the right space. So I can take on those limiting beliefs because we can't be tired and conquer our fears.
Erin (17:34):
We can't be tired and we can't be ill if we want to move forward. If we want to find confidence. So what I want you to do is ask yourself, how can you listen to what you need today? How can you listen to what you need today? Because that is yes, anding. You, you have to make sure that you are set up to deal with all of the things that are gonna come at you. So how can you, yes, and yourself today, give yourself the gift of time to you. Invest in you. So listening to this podcast is a gift. Pour into you before you pour into others, it's the classic, “Put your oxygen mask on first.” Make sure your tea kettle is full before you pour into others' cups. It is truly about yes, anding yourself. Because if you don't give yourself the fulfillment that you need, you're gonna be looking to other people to find it.
Erin (18:46):
And I'm gonna just break it to you nicely. You're never gonna find it in somebody else. Never, ever. So yes, and yourself, first. Number three, this is one of my favorite rules of improv. When I was thinking about this show, I just smile every time I say it. And it's from a teacher, very well known improviser in Chicago, Susan Messing. I was so grateful to be in her class when I was in my improv training days. To be honest with you, I only had maybe four female teachers, my entire improv training experience. And I studied improv for almost four years and every, probably 12 weeks changed classes. So it's interesting. That's a whole other conversation. But Susan loves to say this phrase: “stick to your, hockey mushrooms.” You can say whatever you want, insert a word there, poop the other word. So I don't have to change the rating on this show.
Erin (19:50):
You can, you can use your imagination, but, “stick you to your Shataki” is what I'm gonna say, which means on stage own your weird. So if you walk out as a goofy character, you're gonna be that goofy character the entire scene. Don't drop the goofy. If you walk out super quiet and meek and you are an underdog in the scene, stay that way. Don't lose the choice that you made in the scene. The same applies to life. Oh, it's so good. It's so, so good. Stick to who you are. Comparisonitis is the thief of joy. It's literally a robber. It takes everything from us. I am so guilty of scrolling on Instagram and looking at people, colleagues of mine's lives and being like, why am I not there yet? Why do they have this? And I don't, you know why? Because they worked their tail off to get there and they've been doing it longer than me, Erin.
Erin (20:47):
That's why I cannot compare my day, whatever day I'm on, to their day, 10,000. Okay. It's it is very, very easy to lose ourself. And so one thing that I've really loved that improv has taught me is to own your weird own, who you are, stop, consuming, and start creating. So instead of looking at other people's content, I started creating content. Instead of wishing I had the things that I wish that I had, that they had and I don't. I started creating it. What in your life can you do to stop comparing and start creating? That is what I want you to ask yourself. How can I stop comparing and start creating? All right, here is the fourth lesson learned and I love this one. I love all of them. They're all great, but this one's fun, too. So it's same thing. And this is from Susan Messing as well.
Erin (21:53):
If you're not having fun on stage, then you're the jerk. I want you to think about it like this. So in improv, if you're the person on the stage, that's negating everyone and not adding to the scene. You're the person who is causing the entire team to not have a successful show. If you are the person that shows up to a work meeting and you are not contributing, you're sitting in the corner, you've got your head down in your notebook and you're drooling on your Bic pen. You are adding, you are the problem. Having fun, number one, is what to me, my success is all about. I want to measure my success by the amount of fun I’m having every single day. So how can I make this idea of, of doing keynotes fun for myself? Oh, I know I can jump on stage and have the absolute best time possible.
Erin (22:49):
It's gonna be a party up there, y'all. And rock it out so that the people in the audience are right there with me. So I want you to think about your day for the next week. This is your homework at the end of every single day. I want you to measure on a one to 10 scale. One being today was poop. 10 being today was floss. Okay. How are you feeling about your success with fun? How successful are you? Measure your fun on a one to 10 scale? So I really love this idea and I've really been trying to do this myself because if I'm having fun, then that's when the magic happens. Honestly, the moment that I start looking at doom and gloom, the moment that I start letting these limiting beliefs set in, that's the moment that I feel my subconscious starts doing these limiting beliefs that I've worked so hard to overcome measure your success on the amount of fun that you're having.
Erin (23:56):
So I wanna just recap all of this really quick. I want you to number one, ask yourself, what is the gift in the worst case scenario or the thing that I'm afraid that I'm gonna fail at and how can I learn from it? Number two, how can you listen to what you need today? How can you yes, and yourself? Number three, how can you stop comparing and start creating? And number four, how can you make sure that you are measuring your fun every single day? Your success is determined by the amount of fun you're having every single day. I started to really think about this. As I was thinking about these panic attacks I've had this past week and I started to realize, hey, you know what, Erin, these sucked, but they're not a part of your mistake. They're not a fail. They are a gift.
Erin (24:54):
My body was telling me what I needed to do to take care of my physical and my mental health. And you know what, as I said today, I got out of bed an hour later, I went for a run. I enjoyed a meditation. And then I sat down. That was me. Yes, anding myself. I sat down and I started creating content for you. I posted things on social that were uplifting and had a positive message. And funny enough today I posted a quote that says “there are no mistakes, only gifts.” So that is just so in-line with what we're talking about today. I didn't scroll. I didn't check others' feeds. I wanted to give you something because that was me understanding that I need to stick to what I'm here to do, stick to my Shiitake. Right? And I decided, instead of looking at what I'm going to do in this next phase of my life, as fearful, as unknown as uncertain, I'm gonna flip that script and I'm gonna look at it like girl, you are about to have a ball.
Erin (25:57):
This is about to be a failure party, a place where all feel seen, heard, and valued. And you are going to magnetize all the people that you wanna attract in your life and help those people find each other through this healing power of improv. So, oh my God. And I'm gonna have fun today too. I decided I'm gonna tonight, I'm gonna eat dinner with my family. I'm gonna go see a friend down the street who is having a birthday after this recording. I'm gonna eat some lunch, take a walk around the neighborhood and then come back and create an amazing newsletter. And if you're not on our newsletter list, please jump on that because we're starting to create a lot of cool things there as well. You'll get recaps of the show. And you'll also hear products that we love to help you work from home.
Erin (26:48):
You'll hear motivational quotes. You'll hear some of the Chicken Champions of the month, who are our amazing, fantastic clients that we get to work with every day. And we'll also give you our podcast roundup. So if you miss a show, you'll be able to hear all of those things and click a little button and get all of those things in a month. So just go to our website, learn to improve it.com, scroll to the bottom, and you can join that newsletter list. But that's my day. I'm excited. I'm gonna have so much fun because that's what it's all about. So I really wanted to think about how we can let go of these leadership-limiting beliefs. And I really wanted to impart this wisdom from the improv stage to you because it is so important to think about each one of these fundamentals to make sure that I am letting this subconscious anxiety go by living out the truth that I'm here to do, which is to spread laughter, levity, and positivity to the world.
Erin (27:54):
And so I hope that these four things instilled some confidence in you that you can do any hard thing that comes in your path, that you have it within you. And you have support here within this community, within myself to give you the tools and the tips and the tricks that you need. And just know that we at improve it! and everyone here as a part of the improve it! peeps community has your back. You have an entire army of people who believe in these fundamentals. So we're gonna get into some more fun and start creating some spaces where the improve it! peeps can connect together online. So stay tuned for that. I just wanna say one thing. If today gave you some fundamentals. If it brought you laughter, levity, and positivity, pass on today's show to somebody else, somebody who needs it because the world needs that laughter, levity, and positivity so much right now.
Erin (29:02):
I'm so proud of you and you know what I'm gonna say? Keep failing, keep improving because that world, oh, it needs that special it that only you can bring. I'll see you next time. Hey friends, thanks for tuning in to improve it. I am so happy. You were along for the ride. If you enjoyed this show, head on over to iTunes to leave us a five-star review and subscribe to this show. So you never miss an episode. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Now, if you're really feeling today's show and you've improved it even just a little bit, please take a screenshot and tag me @keepinitrealdiehl on Instagram and share it in your stories. I'll see you next week, but I wanna leave you with this thought: What did you improve today and how will that help your future successful self? Think about it. I am rooting for you and the world needs that special it that only you can bring. See you next time.