Episode 156: Starting a Gratitude Practice with Heather Vickery
If today all you have to give is 15% and you give 15%, then that’s 100%. Math isn’t our strong suit but we’re pretty sure that tracks.
Be honest with yourself on the days you can give 15% and the days you can give 100%. Only you know, and only you can show up based off of what you can give. No one else can make those calls besides you.
The point here is this: You can’t do incredible, badass things unless you can build from what’s already working and what’s already good.
What’s already working? The percentage you can give today. The habits you’ve implemented to fill up your cup before you try to fill anyone else’s. Your unique “IT” factor only you can give.
What’s already good? The pockets of joy tucked into everyday that you notice and celebrate. The way that your best friend would describe you to a stranger. Everything you’ve achieved but never really let sink in.
Listen as Erin and Heather conclude this three-part series on bravery, exploring what it means to build from what’s already working and what’s already good.
ICYMI – Your Post-Episode Homework: Think of 10 things right now that you are grateful for. 10 things that you can see, touch, feel, hear, see, I said see, but you know what I'm talking about. Find 10 things, say them out loud right now. Feel the energy in your body shift and commit to a practice of gratitude in your life.
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Connect with Erin Diehl:
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Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 156 Transcription
Erin (00:00):
Welcome to the Improve It Podcast, improve It peeps. We are back with Heather Vickery. We have talked about making brave leaps, liking and trusting yourself, and today is all about the power of gratitude. So you'll hear some conversations from Heather if you are searching for a way to find more joy in your life. This episode is for you. Let's get to it. Here is our final conversation with Heather Vickery. I'm so curious burning question, hot off the press. What does <laugh> your gratitude practice look like? Yeah, tell us that. Cause this is like, I'm, I'm such a nerd with this type of stuff, like I can talk about this all day. So what is your gratitude practice?
Heather (00:55):
So, I love that question. I have written two gratitude journals. One is for adults called Shift Your Focus. One is for kids and families. It's called Grow Grateful. And in the journals I talk about my story of discovering the power of gratitude, the science behind it, and why it's important. And I can get into that in a second. We also talked right before we started recording, I'm certified in human design. And you were asking me if I'd had breakfast. I said, oh, I haven't yet. But to be fair, my human design says I should eat with a flow. I digest information in a flow in general. And so for me, I am not, I cannot be I'm not gonna force myself to try and be a very consistent journaler, even though I believe in the power of journaling. I journal when it feels intuitive to me to journal the way my gratitude practice has become so ingrained.
Heather (01:49):
I wake up in the morning and I open my eyes and I just start rolling through what I'm grateful for. And some mornings they're like massive things. And I think this morning it was like, oh, I'm grateful for a good night's sleep. Oh, I'm grateful for the coffee. It's coming. I'm gonna have the coffee. Mm. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, I'm grateful that this, I can see a little sliver of the sun. I'm grateful how soft my sheets are. You know it, whatever, like little bitty things because when you start off that way, you build up from that. Yes. And then throughout my day, particularly when I find myself frustrated or stressed, I will be like, oh, sit, stop. Look around and find five things that you can see, touch, taste, smell, or feel, and express gratitude for them. So if I'm looking in, in this room, I'm super grateful for the internet, which is allowing me to have this conversation with you. I am grateful for my kick podcasting, Mike, my plants, because they bring me so much joy and they saved me during covid. And one in particular that a client sent me for Christmas. And, and it's a an amarillo's. And she said, it's a metaphor because an Amarillo will keep living even though it looks like it's dying. As long as you maintain it the right way, it'll grow back. It'll be beautiful.
Erin (03:11):
I mean, what
Heather (03:14):
I know, right? And it's blooming right now and it's gorgeous. So I love her for that, right? So I, my gratitude practice is to seek it when I'm feeling low to search for it. I do e f t tapping with, with gratitude almost every day. And sometimes I write it out. Here's the trick with gratitude. If you are a journaler, if you are a writer, grab my journal or grab a, a blank notebook or do whatever and really, really do that. It works as long as it comes out of your mind. You have to say these things out loud or write them down. So for some people, I have one client who got a buddy, like just a friend, and she was like, Hey, can we just at the end of every day, text each other are what we're grateful for. Yes. Great. So holding you accountable for that. There are apps that help you do it. I would love to build one. If anybody knows someone who can help me build an app that's not $50,000. Hit me
Erin (04:04):
Up, hit her up, hit her up,
Heather (04:05):
Hit me up, I'm ready to do it. Right. So find different ways to bring it in. I close all of my one-on-one coaching sessions with gratitude, and I c people crack me up. I'm like, okay, 10 things you're grateful for. And inevitably they're like, oh, 10
Erin (04:20):
Things.
Heather (04:21):
I'm like, listen, if you can't come up with 10 things you're grateful for, we have bigger problems than why you walked on the door in the first place. And where you get really good at it is going beyond. I'm grateful for my family and my house and my job. You are, but what about your family? What about your house? What about your job? Right? What in this moment are you grateful for? So that is my, that is my gratitude practice. And here's what I will say is that science has proven you can get an MRI before you start a gratitude practice. If you list three to five things you're grateful for and why, and the and why is really important, because that helps you understand why it's impactful and how to replicate it. And you do that for three months and you get a follow-up mri, it will literally show in your brain that you are less stressed and happier and more joyful because oh my God, it works every time.
Erin (05:16):
Okay? Yes, yes. And yes. And I'm so here for that. I, you know what I am, I'm very curious to see what my brain would've looked like pre my own brave story here. <Laugh>. Yeah. Right? Oh my God. But that is, that is crazy. And it's so true because I will tell you, I also love gratitude. I think it's a huge thing that calms my nervous system. Mm-Hmm.
Heather (05:39):
<Affirmative>. It does, it stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system. Yeah.
Erin (05:43):
And it, again, another here's, here's some more free 99 content. She has anxiety. And this is something, when I'm in that moment of freaking out, I will go to time and time again, and I know it works cuz we're human beings sitting here telling you Yes, it works. And I wanna say to somebody listening today, what would you recommend if someone listening is like, this seems crazy. I can't do this. How am I gonna remember to do this? What is one place that they could start if they have never experienced this practice? And it's, it's so simple. You can do it in your own brain, but what's, what's a good place to start?
Heather (06:23):
Yeah. so first you just wanna decide, I want to try this. I want to see what happens if I do this right. There's no, you're not attaching a do or die to it. It's no blood contract. You're curious and you wanna explore it. And then I would find somebody to help you stay accountable, get a buddy. Things are easier to do with a buddy. And I would say commit to one week at a time. And so maybe with the buddy it's we're gonna text each other or we're gonna get a journal and we're gonna each write in our journal every day for a week, just one week. And then check in after that week and say, did I like this? Did I feel better? I have so many clients who are like, I always feel better when I do gratitude and then I forget and I don't do it and I do it again. And I'm like, oh man, I feel better. Those clients with the list of 10, they always show resistance in the beginning 100% of the time. It doesn't matter if I've worked them for a week or two years. They, and at the end I said, how are you feeling? And they go, oh, it's so nice. It's so nice.
Erin (07:30):
Yeah.
Heather (07:31):
To see what's good. Even though we know that there are things that are bad, there's always what's good.
Erin (07:38):
Yes. Oh my god, Heather, this is Myalgic. I have to tell you for real, like this truly, this conversation is gonna help so many people. I can, I already feel that. And I hope that somebody listening here today really takes this practice, especially the gratitude practice and puts it into play. It's simple, it's easy, it's free. You don't need any tools except your mind
Heather (08:04):
To do this. And it will change your life. Literally. Change your life, I promise you.
Erin (08:08):
Yes. Okay. So Heather, on this show, we always ask our guests, what is your it or the one thing, cuz we are the improve it that it is your purpose. That thing that you bring to the world. What is Heather Bicks it?
Heather (08:26):
Hmm. <Laugh>. I believe that my, it is revolutionizing bravery, redefining what it means to be brave. So we know that climbing a mountain is brave. We know that getting a divorce is brave. We know that quitting a job is brave, but sometimes we don't realize that getting out of bed is brave or choosing a gratitude practice is brave, or going on a podcast is brave, or reading, setting time aside for yourself. Practicing self-care, whatever it is. So what what we do when we revolutionize bravery is we find the hundreds of ways a day that we're making a brave choice. And we acknowledge that that's what it is. And that somebody else might not re think. That's a brave choice. And it doesn't matter what that somebody else thinks. It only matters. Does it feel brave to you in that moment? And if it does, then a little bitty spark goes inside you a little light and it builds and it builds and it builds. Because when we choose bravely on purpose, we choose bigger, we win bigger, and it's contagious. And that includes everything that feels brave, small or large. And people around you see it and they get a little spark and it grows with them. And that's what we're here to do. And that changes the world.
Erin (09:50):
And there goes our mic fallen on the floor. <Laugh> <laugh>. That is sick. Yes. Yes. And you've talked about that on this show. You've shown us so many things. I'm so grateful because we've not only talked about how to make brave leaps, we've talked about liking and trusting yourself. We've talked about the power of gratitude and your, it is shining light for all of us. You're showing us how to live a more brave, less fearful, awesome life that feels peaceful. And I love that word peace. And I love that surrender is also there. Cuz when we let go of this control, oh my God, anything is possible. So I've loved this combo. I know our Improve It peeps. I've loved this combo. Tell them where they can find you. We're gonna link to your books, the journals, the podcast. Where can they find you? All the thanks. Thank
Heather (10:48):
You. So the easiest way to find all of my things and all of the places I am, is to go to victory and co.com/social. When you go to that link, you're gonna be able to join my newsletter if you want, which would be cool. Come join us. You can find my weekly live show every Tuesday at 1:30 PM Central. I do a live show. It's 15 to 30 minutes of one way that you can put your bravery in action. It's different every week. We have a lot of fun. You can access all of my books or my manifestation card deck, which is so much fun. And I have a little, just a little request, y'all, if you're interested in any of the products, buy them from me and not on Amazon. Mm. Because Amazon sells my stuff for less than it cost to print it. Mm. And I don't have a choice. They, I have to sell to them if I'm in wide distribution. So do what you need to do. But that would be awesome. And come and hang out. I'm, I'm active on Instagram mostly and I play on TikTok, but all of those links are on victory and code.com/social. And I, I really do love to interact. So ca, may I offer a little something something to
Erin (11:58):
Your peeps? Yes. Yes, of course. Please.
Heather (12:01):
Cool. If you've listened to this and you're inspired and you're excited and you wanna explore, I would love to give the first two people who send me an email, a gifted coaching session. Just mention the podcast and we'll get it scheduled. It'll be my gift to you because if this is lighting you up, then I wanna know you and I wanna meet you and I engaged and respond to everyone directly. So you can email me at heather vic and code.com. That
Erin (12:28):
Is huge. Okay, people, let's get that on the show links. We're gonna link to that. Heather, that is awesome. Thank you. Thanks. Yeah. My, you my pleasure. Thank you. Take advantage of that, everyone. Heather, this has been a joy. I feel, I just feel, I feel lighter, like I feel after this conversation. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna bring some joy to my day and I'm gonna stop getting sweaty about the things that don't matter.
Heather (12:53):
There you go.
Erin (12:55):
I really just appreciate your joy, your energy, your bravery. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us and your story. It has been a pleasure having you on the improvement pod. Thank
Heather (13:05):
You so much. Fun. Can I just say one more thing? Yeah. No. And then we're gonna go, you said something that I just want people to hear. I want them to, to hear this and take this with them. You may still get a little sweaty about things you can't control, but you can go, why am I getting sweaty? Oh, I can't control that. And then you can shift. So it doesn't mean it won't happen, it just means you don't have to stay
Erin (13:24):
There. Yes. Yeah. And apply a strong deodorant and you're golden <laugh>.
Heather (13:32):
Yep. Control it again. Can. Thank you so much, Erin. Thank you Emma.
Erin (13:45):
Okay. Peeps, what a show. I am obsessed with Heather. She is so fantastic. I love her energy as I'm sure you did too. Again, if you missed part one and two of this conversation with Heather, go back to episode 1 54 and episode 1 55 of this show. And also get that gift from Heather. Send her an email and get that coaching conversation going with her. What a gift that is truly the best gift we've ever been given here on this show. So take advantage of that. And I want you today to close out this episode. Here's your homework. I want you to think of 10 things right now that you are grateful for. 10 things that you can see, touch, feel, hear, see, I said see, but you know what I'm talking about. Find 10 things, say them out loud right now. Feel the energy in your body shift and commit to a practice of gratitude in your life.
Erin (14:42):
It could be like she said, one week at a time, or you could get a gratitude buddy and text each other at the end of the day, what you're gra grateful for. I know I'm grateful for you. I know I'm so grateful for this show, for the opportunity to chat with people like Heather to bring this knowledge to you. And I'm so grateful for every chance we get to grow and learn together. If today's show or this episode series with Heather moved you, please consider leaving us a five star review on iTunes. It really means so much. It helps bring more amazing guests like Heather to the show. And I just wanna tell you, per usual, I'm so proud of you. Keep failing. Keep improving because this world needs that very special it that only you can rank. I'll see you next time. Hey friend, did you enjoy today's show? If so, head on over to iTunes to rate and subscribe. So you never miss an episode. Now, did I mention that when you leave a five star review of the Improve It podcast, an actual team of humans does a happy dance? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. That's right. So leave a review for us on iTunes, screenshot it, and send me an email at info learn to improve it.com. I'll send you a personalized video back as a thank you. Thanks so much for listening. Improve It Peeps. I'll see you next Wednesday.