Episode 183: Your body and nervous system – Why they are critical to creating lasting behavioral change with Jay Fields
Ever wondered why you have a hard time going from doing it all to doing nothing? Today, Jay Fields joins Erin on the improve it! Podcast to show us why.
If you’re in an immobilized state (i.e., watching Netflix), there are things you can do to sort of “warm your body back up” instead of going straight into an intense run. On the other hand, if you’re in a mobilized state (i.e., in go, go, go mode), there are things you can do to “cool down” your body instead of going straight into meditation mode.
Is regulating your nervous system by meeting yourself exactly where you are something you’d try? Listen to find out how you can start today.
About Jay Fields: As a somatic coach who has devoted her life to helping people leverage the nervous system to manage their emotions more effectively, Jay Fields is the creator of the wildly popular program Yours Truly, which has taught thousands of women how to harness their body, brain, and nervous system to build self-trust and to show up more authentically in their personal and professional relationships.
She's the author of the LinkedIn learning courses: Overcoming Insecurity for More Confidence at Work, Managing Your Emotions at Work, and Reduce Stress & Anxiety by Managing Your Nervous System, which has gotten close to 400,000 views. Additionally, she's a former yoga teacher and has authored the book Teaching People Not Poses, which offers yoga instructors tips on how to be truly remarkable at their job.
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Read Jay’s book, Teaching People Not Poses
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Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
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Episode 183 Transcription
Erin (00:00):
Hi new friend. I'm Erin Diehl, business improv ed Entertainer Fail Flu and keynote speaker who is ready to help you improve your it, it being the thing that makes you, you. So think of me as your keeping it real. Professional development bestie who is here to help you develop yourself into the best version of you possible so you can develop your team and lead with intentionality, transparency, and authenticity. Oh, and did I mention we're improving your IT through play? That's right. I'm an improvisational comedy expert who uses experiential learning to help you have your aha haha moment. Those are the moments when the light bulb goes off and you're laughing at the same time. So grab your chicken hat, your notebook, and your inner child because I'm gonna take you on a journey that is both fun and transformative. Welcome to the Improve It Podcast.
Erin (01:08):
Improve It Peeps. Okay. Get ready, get a sheet of paper, save this episode and the series of these episodes to come for when you are having a really bad day. This conversation with Jay Fields blew my mind. I am so excited to bring this conversation to you. It's in three parts as we've been doing. Oh my goodness. Let me just tell you a little bit about Jay here. So Jay feels as a somatic coach who has devoted her life to helping people leverage the nervous system to manage their emotions more effectively. Now she's the creator of the wildly popular program, yours Truly, which has taught thousands of women how to harness their body, brain, and nervous system to build self-trust and to show up more authentically in their personal and professional relationships. Now, her approach to helping people have their own back at work and in life is grounded in playful, empathetic, and intelligence.
Erin (02:08):
She's the author of the LinkedIn learning courses, overcoming Insecurity from Her Confidence at Work, managing Your Emotions at Work, and reduce stress and anxiety by managing your nervous system, which has gotten close to 400,000 views. So if you're on LinkedIn and take those learning courses, check out Jay Fields. Now, additionally, she's a former yoga teacher and has authored the book Teaching People Not Poses, which offers yoga instructors tips on how to be truly remarkable at their job. Let me tell you, this conversation was like going to a spa with a therapist and walking out the other side feeling like I had a rub down and my mind was free body and mind connection. Everyone, it was incredible. I can't wait to have this first conversation with you alongside of you so you can hear it as well and just feel the feels. We're talking all about your body and the nervous system and why they are critical to creating lasting behavioral change. Let's get to improving it with Jay Fields. Jay, welcome to the Improve It podcast. It's Happening.
Erin (03:29):
It's happening, it's happening. I said this before we hit record, but you have this just great calming presence, which just keeping it real. I needed today <laugh>. So well
Jay (03:44):
That's hope it works for both of us. So I don't like pit out and, you know, get all hyper.
Erin (03:49):
I know. You know, that's, I know I have a new, I have a new deodorant and I've been pitting out less, but I know, I feel like what we're gonna talk about today should calm the armpits. So let's do that. Okay, well let's start <laugh> by setting. I love that. Sigh. Let's start by setting an intention for you and this show. So what is one word that you want to give our listeners today? What's an intention that could guide us?
Jay (04:22):
Wholeness comes to mind.
Erin (04:26):
Yep. That's amazing. I love that. Wholeness. Okay, so you are a somatic coach. You've helped many understand their body and their nervous system, which in turn helps them show up as more authentic leaders. Your work is this beautiful blend of mindfulness and psychological theories that are different from therapeutic modalities. And what I read on your site is that they're approached through this lens. I'm gonna completely butcher the way that this is. I love it. This is said polyvagal. Poly. Poly. No, that's it.
Jay (05:05):
Poly. That's
Erin (05:06):
It. Polyvagal.
Jay (05:07):
You got
Erin (05:07):
It. Okay. So can you start off just by telling us about this theory? In theory?
Jay (05:14):
In theory, <laugh> theoretical speaking. Yes. Cuz this is kind of a big deal in terms of understanding your experience as a person. I so polyvagal theory, essentially Stephen Porges came up with this and essentially it's this recognition that our nervous systems don't have just two functions. We tend to think of the fight, flight and the freeze. Right? There's a third function and that's social engagement. So essentially you're saying as human beings, when we feel safe and secure and okay, there's another setting that we're on, right? We're not always just responding to stress. And that setting of social engagement is where we're at when we can be open and communicative where we have access to our full brain and can be creative and spontaneous and see possibility and understand basically like this is the part of us that makes us uniquely human as opposed to what you or your viewers might have heard of like the lizard brain, right? The lizard brain is all about survival or the mammalian brain is all about kind of like how do I, how do I make attachments to stay safe and connection, you know, but the human brain, this that's part of us that we have access to when we're in social engagement is like what makes us badass <laugh>, right?
Erin (06:41):
Like yes,
Jay (06:43):
At whatever it is that we do and whatever relationships we're in.
Erin (06:48):
Oh, I love that. I love, okay, this is just such an interesting concept to me, especially when it comes to leadership and social engagement, connection. I wanna talk about this, this, this combination. When you mentioned also like the fight or flight mode, freeze mode, why is understanding this theory, the polyvagal theory, so critical in creating lasting behavioral change? How does that theory help us continue to be great leaders once we we find out how to do that?
Jay (07:28):
Yeah, great question cuz I, the thing that I, that I experience and then I've seen clients experience over and over again is that once you can understand that the state that your nervous system is in influences your behavior, the way you think about yourself, the way you think about the world around you, the way you think about others, then you can take out the shame and the blame. So let me give you an example. Like, if your nervous system is kind of in a mobilized state and you're in fight flight mode, just by the very nature of what that feels like in your body, you are going to see other people's adversaries. You're gonna experience yourself as kind of like short tempered, you know, I mean, think about it. Anytime you're in fight flight, it's like you're annoying, you're too slow. You're in my way <laugh>.
Erin (08:19):
Yes.
Jay (08:20):
Right? Because that's what you're, that's the state that you are in. And so when we're in that state though, we tend to think I'm a jerk. I'm not very nice person. You know, like we blame ourselves or if you're in an immobilized state, we tend to think I'm lazy. I'm, I'm good for nothing. I'm never gonna get anywhere. These people are so much better than me. Right? Like if you find yourself in those states, it's really hard to differentiate that that is an influence. It isn't real.
Erin (08:51):
Yeah.
Jay (08:52):
And so when you can find yourself back in the social engaged state where you feel balanced, where you feel safe, where you feel like you can make real connections that you feel differently about yourself and other people in the world. And I think that's why understanding this can make such lasting change is because if you get down on yourself for being in either one of those mobilized or immobilized places and you, you know, you talk crap to yourself in your head or you just feel bad about it, you're more likely to stay in that state <laugh>. Right? It's like self perpetuating. Yeah. So if you can understand, oh, this is a state, this isn't who I am, and you can use practices to get out of that and come back to social engagement, you get more access to your wholeness more of the time.
Erin (09:43):
Hmm. Okay. We're gonna get to those practices. That's
Jay (09:45):
A lot of words, <laugh>
Erin (09:47):
And just a minute. No, those are fantastic words. I've been taking them. I'm like, yes, I needed this today. Hopefully everyone listening needed this today. Cuz Jay, I told you I'm having a day like this is oh, it's a day, it's a day. And okay, so I love what you're saying about this this shame and this guilt because I think a lot of people listening are people, leaders. We carry a lot of loads, a lot of invisible loads, right? They're we're parents, we're leaders, we're friends, we're parenting, our parents we're doing the most, and I'm gonna speak for me, I had to really unlearn that rest is not productive. And allowing that fight or flight to calm down is essential for career growth. Because maybe 10 years ago there was this boom of whole hashtag hustle culture, hashtag boss babe culture, right? Where everybody was hustle, hustle, hustle, worked 12 hours a day and now it's, I'm seeing this shift. Are you seeing a shift for more mental health and mindfulness at work? Oh,
Jay (11:03):
Abso frigg lutely. Yeah. Absolutely. In the last few years there's a real understanding like this, this isn't working. We gotta do something different. The hustle culture, the go go go. And just all the pivoting that we all needed to do in the last few years because of the pandemic. You know, because something to understand about the nervous system is if you're in fight flight that go, go, go mobilized place long enough, you just, you drop Yeah. You go to immobilized. And I think one of the things that our culture has gotten wrong because we haven't understood polyvagal theory that well, is that that there is one path to coming back to being grounded or being calm and balanced. That, you know, it's like the bubble bath culture <laugh>, right? Like just take a bath. Yeah. Read a book or, but it's like, or go for a run exercise.
Jay (11:54):
And it depends. The state that you're in depends on what you need to do to get back to good. So if you're in immobilized watching 10 hours in a Netflix, you're not going for a run to feel better. Like there is nothing that's gonna get your butt off the couch and you know, into an exercise. At the same time, if you're in like go, go, go, go, go and you're doing six things at once, and like you're saying you're parenting the kids, you're parenting your parents, you're leading the team and you're gonna just sit down in like, enjoy a book and read in a relaxed manner and a hammock for the afternoon, that's not happening. Like, yeah, you can't go from 60 to zero and zero to 60. So one of the great things that I think about that, that I think is great about polyvagal is understanding what are the techniques to kind of edge you back towards, okay. Cuz if I, if I'm in Netflix mode, in sweatpants mode and eating snacks,
Erin (12:54):
Hmm, that's a great mode. I need that mode.
Jay (12:57):
That's a great mode. Yes,
Erin (12:58):
Yes.
Jay (12:59):
That's a great mode. But if you're needing to come back into like being a productive member of society, you know, that's Sunday night and you got Monday coming, honestly, things like taking a warm shower and like actually feeling the temperature of the, the water and like sensing the steam, like just being in your body is enough to give you just that little bit extra lift or putting lotion on your legs and it smells good and you're feeling you have touch again because in that immobilized place, you're, you're numb, you're not feeling anything. Yeah. You're just consuming <laugh>, you know? Yes. whereas if you're in immobilized place and you're go, go, go and you can't slow down it might, that's when you go for the run or like meet yourself where you're at and wear yourself out a little bit. Or when you're in the mobilized state, that's where you call a friend and have a conversation where you actually can feel yourself talking again. You know, because you're talking to someone that you can open, open up with and share an emotion with and it like, just kind of slows you down. Just that we're not looking for, now I'm Zen master, we're looking for, can you find ways to be in your body that help you just dial it back two degrees?
Erin (14:18):
Hmm. Oh yes. I'm like, yes, because I think there's such a connection obviously with the mind and the body. We've talked a lot about that on this show too. I love this topic and it really, for me personally, I saw the shift in my own life when I connected the mental capacity with my body when I actually said, okay, let me take time to sit, let me, let me, I'm one of those people that has to schedule rest. Like, I literally have to make it a priority. And that shift can change so much in the body and it can create and lessen, well, it can lessen tension but also just allow you to feel more in your body, which is what essentially both of these modes are saying. Like, you need to get into your body off the immobilization piece. Here's some steps to do that. You need to get back into your body by resting and giving yourselves tiny tweaks to do that. Because I hear you, I have so many friends who have young kids, I, myself included, where they're like, how do you read, like how do you have time to sit down and read a book? How do you have time to just sit? And you're right, those little things can make those tiny shifts over time can make a big impact.
Jay (15:46):
Yeah. And I think, you know, the piece about the embo, the body that's so important to know is that, and you might know this, but the information that goes between our body and our brain, 80% of it goes from body to brain. Only 20% goes from brain to body. So the reason why these embodied practices are so important is because they, they're called bottom up ways of regulating. You use this whole thing that's down here below your head <laugh>, you know, to go bottom up. So if my body is in a rev and I'm breathing shallowly and quickly and my heart rate's fast, I can use my mind to try and think my way into being calmer. Or I can use my body to try and convince my brain I'm actually okay. So for example, one of my favorite techniques for getting back to good or regulating is shaking. Like really just like a fast shake. Because if my, yeah, you can do it right now. Like I'm
Erin (16:49):
Doing it, I'm doing it.
Jay (16:50):
If your muscles are tight, if you're in like a tense mode, like you know, your muscles just gripped, your brain is getting the message, something must be wrong. Cuz I'm in preparation for fighting or fleeing. So if you shake and like it's just that super fasting, you know, kinda,
Erin (17:08):
Yeah, yeah.
Jay (17:08):
Your muscles soften and that's a message to your brain, oh, my muscles are soft, I must be okay because if my muscles are soft, I'm not preparing for fighting for my life. So that's a bottom up way of processing or of regulating. You use your body to tell your brain that you're safe and then your body can actually rev down from there. Wow. Does that make sense?
Erin (17:35):
Yeah. It's, this is interesting. I use the opposite approach. I try to like calm my mind. So I feel like then them doing the 20% when I need to focus on the body, which is the 80,
Jay (17:48):
And look, it can work top down or you know, using your head to calm your body can work, but if it's your only, your only tool, you're kind of, you know, and, and if your mind is anything like mine, <laugh>,
Erin (18:04):
Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>, it probably is mm-hmm. <Affirmative>
Jay (18:08):
Goes on in there all the time. Like it's like, you know, herding cats. And then if I'm, if that's my tool for helping my body feel better,
Erin (18:16):
Yeah, I'm screwed. Yeah, we're screwed. Okay. And I will tell you, this is interesting cuz actually, and you know, we use improv for soft skill, power skills, what I call them development. And we actually start the beginning of every workshop with an activity called shake it out. Yes. Which is like, we shake out all of our limbs, right? Yes. Our right arm, our left arm, right, like left up, we count down to eight with them, go down to 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I've never connected how important that is to actually getting people into their bodies and out of their heads because yes, people come into the workshop so nervous, right? And they're like, this isn't Bravo, my gosh. And their body is tense. And I mean it's, it's so funny because we as facilitators, we always say this, as soon as shake it out is over, that's when the workshop started. And we do. Yeah. And we do it about like 10 minutes in. It's perfect. Okay, now I get it. I get it. It's
Jay (19:12):
All Yeah, you're doing it.
Erin (19:15):
We're doing it.