Episode 187: Ditch the Workplace Drama with Cy Wakeman
Leaders don't manage people, they manage energy.
Drama researcher, thought leader, and New York Time best-selling author Cy Wakeman joins Erin to discuss what it means to manage the energy of your team & the individuals you lead by analyzing emotional waste and how to replace it with good mental processes.
If your team is burning out quickly and you’re not sure what you can do – this is a good place to start.
More about Cy: Cy Wakeman is an International Speaker on Leadership & Management, a Global Thought Leader, and Drama Researcher—which is a career she discovered accidentally and has since quantified how much drama there actually is in the workplace. Her research has shown that the average employee spends nearly 2.5 hours per day in drama, gossiping, tattling, withholding buy-in, resisting change and stepping down from accountability. Drama is emotional waste, any unproductive thought or behavior and like any other waste in the workplace. Now, her work is focused on giving leaders tools to recapture that emotional waste and upcycle it into results.
Cy founded Reality-Based Leadership, her company that teaches leaders and individual contributors ways to lead, and reality that diffuses drama in the workplace. Cy is also a New York Times best-selling author and has published four books, the latest of which is Life’s Messy, Live Happy: Things Don't Have to Be Perfect for You to Be Content (2022).
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Connect with Erin Diehl:
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Email Erin: info@learntoimproveit.com
Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
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Episode 187 Transcription
Erin (00:02):
Improve it peeps. Buckle up. If you're in the car, get your safety belt a little bit tighter. If you're walking, find a seatbelt because today's episode is so good, it's so good. Today we are chatting with Cy Wakeman all about ditching the workplace drama. And Cy, sorry, Cy, you're my new bestie. Cy is a drama researcher, which is a career she discovered accidentally and has since quantified how much drama there actually is in the workplace. We're gonna talk about this in the show. Her research has shown that the average employee spends nearly 2.5 hours per day and drama, gossiping, tattling, withholding buy-in, resisting change and stepping down from accountability. Drama is emotional waste, any unproductive thought or behavior and like any other waste in the workplace. So I believe drama can be eliminated through great mental processes. Now her work is focused on giving leaders tools to recapture that emotional waste and upcycle it into results size.
Erin (01:07):
Started reality-based leadership, her company, in order to teach leaders and individual contributors ways to lead and reality that diffuses drama in the workplace. They have formed that into an organization that does leadership development, speaking and training and publishes unconventional tools and leadership programs to use to diffuse drama in the workplace. Oh my gosh, this episode y'all is just unbelievable. It was so what, so refreshing to talk to Sy. I'm gonna stop talking and get right to it. Let's improve it with the one, the only Cy Wakeman. Hi new friend. I'm Erin Diehl, business improv edutainer, Failfluencer and keynote speaker who is ready to help you improve your it, it being the thing that makes you, you. So think of me as you are keeping it real. Professional development bestie who is here to help you develop yourself into the best version of you possible so you can develop your team and lead with intentionality, transparency, and authenticity. Oh, and did I mention we're improving your IT through play? That's right. I'm an improvisational comedy expert who uses experiential learning to help you have your aha haha moment. Those are the moments when the light bulb goes off and you're laughing at the same time. So grab your chicken hat, your notebook, and your inner child because I'm gonna take you on a journey that is both fun and transformative. Welcome to the Improve It Podcast.
Erin (02:54):
Okay, Cy. Welcome to the improve it! Podcast. I'm, I'm like jazzed, like I have a jazz hand about youy here today. So welcome, welcome. Tell us where you're coming in from. I, I know, but tell everybody.
Cy (03:10):
I'm coming in ocean front north of, I live in Baja, Mexico in Paradise.
Erin (03:17):
I mean goals. These are goals. So I am so excited to chat with you. You have done some incredible work. You are putting fantastic work into the world. Our theme of the show this month is love and I'm so excited to chat with you because you talk all about ditching this workplace drama, bringing more love into the fold, which some leaders kind of get a little squeamish when you say love at work, but it's really what makes the world go round. So I wanna just start by setting an intention. What is one word you would like to give our audience today?
Cy (03:55):
You already said that it's love. I'm actually someone who talks from the stage at all corporate events about the two roles of a leader. You gotta love people up and then only then do you get the permission to call them up to greatness. And I used to teach a lot about accountability and calling people up. And then I realized, given our response to the people during the pandemic, like we, I just assumed people were loving people up all the time. But I found out I had to go back and revisit those lessons because a leader can't love somebody else up if they have got no self for themselves. And so if I can't be compassionate when I make a mistake or can't get it all done or don't look seemingly like I'm holding it together, how could I ever give that to my employee? And that's why it's so important. Like know your own biases because what you can't love about yourself or about others, you can't give to your employees. Your employees can't give to your customers.
Erin (04:55):
Oh my God. It's, it's like you took the words right out of my mouth. I gotta talk, we gotta talk. Sorry. There's so many things that I'm Yes, yes, yes. And I'm so here for that because you really can't give out love unless you feel that in your, in your own body, in your own mind, in your own soul. So I love, that's our intention
Cy (05:15):
And we think we can like we love our kids, but that is met with resentment when your kids aren't grateful enough for how hard you worked for them. Like that's not love what we're doing right now. And work is so transactional and so little transformational because we're doing it with the motive of Cwhat do I say to get my people to be more productive. I'm like, I wanna talk about how you can be to hold space for willing productivity and that's a, a whole different way of moving through the world. Cause as a leader then you're not resentful. You're just asking for what you need. You're treating people well. But the key is, is like if you over rotate on love and engagement, engagement without accountability creates entitlement. And if you over rotate on just accountability, calling people up with no love, that creates resentment. Like there's really the only one way to be able to love outwardly is to evolve yourself inwardly. The more you evolve, the more you can walk through your external world skillfully and with love. So my ability to love externally has to do forged internally. We have hashtag evolve yourself and hashtag love wins always. So, oh my God. Like that's, if you're part of our company, work your program and love each other and we'll do great things together.
Erin (06:47):
Okay. We're meant to meet. We're, I'm sorry you're now stuck with me for a really long time. I hope you know that I am very here for this. And what's interesting is in April on this show, our theme was evolution and May's theme is inner child. So you're really developing yourself, developing that inner child and incorporating that play, getting back to your true self so you can get to this point of self-love, which is why you are here. I'm so thrilled. Like you just tied that in beautifully. So let me ask you this, you're a drama researcher and you said in your bio or somewhere I read that you stumbled into this accidentally. So how did this happy accident happen?
Cy (07:33):
You know, and and it goes to your theme too, like improv if we're turning towards each other and as these moments open up, you have any ability inside you to say yes. Even if it's a like yes. Like dang I don't wanna do this but will, I had one project left in my master's degree and like I had such senior IDAs, I had a one-year-old two-year-old child. I was like I just need this degree done. It was like going on weekends and evenings. And so I was implementing a new medical record with some clinics that I was a leader in. And the biggest complaint the physicians had was, it'll kill our productivity. It'll take more time to put all of this in the computer. They were used to just tape recording it into a little recorder and we'd send it off to transcription. So I came up for my final project.
Cy (08:25):
I would time track the reality of that. I knew how much time they spent talking into recorders cuz you transcription by the minute. And so I thought I could put observers in a few of their rooms. They could get information from me, how time physician, a fluent physician who could type spent on the medical record. And I would compare that, write up a paper, I am graduated. And then I gave them two columns. I got it through my professors. I gave the observers write down patient time, computer time. And within like an hour the observers called me and they said we need a third column. And I was horrified cause it was all approved. I really needed the data, write the paper of the weekend, I'm done. And something inside me said, oh my gosh, you gotta listen to this. And I said, what would the third column be? And they said how much time the physician spends complaining about the patient or the computer.
Erin (09:24):
Wow.
Cy (09:25):
And my first, it was two and a half hours a day and I thought maybe the physicians in my clinic are big wines. And so I couldn't help. I had to do it with other places. I thought maybe it was physicians, it was nurses. I thought maybe it was healthcare. It was beyond healthcare. Every time we replicated the study And in 2016 we did a huge really solid piece of research to, to write my book No with the futures company. And they looked across industry, they, you know, really quantified that the average person, good employee working hard, spends two and a half hours a day in drama in the workplace. Emotional waste energy, not going towards results and wellbeing at work. And we're all trying to have people be more productive and we're all trying to get people, you know, not so burned out at work. And when I brought this forward that I could save 816 hours a year per headcount, not just they weren't working but working with the grudge. Like it would immediately change engagement, workplace accountability. And I knew how to do it cause I was a therapist that had turned leadership guru. It was unbelievable breakthrough my career.
Erin (10:39):
That is fascinating.
Cy (10:43):
Unbelievable. Everything in me wanted to say no this moment in improv because like I know my improv partner and he takes me someplace and I'm like, I'm freaking on stage. You just did not just do this. Everything in me wants to say no. Yeah. Cause I have this suspicion where you're setting me up here and I can't contain my laughter and like I'm gonna, I'm now became the butt of the skit and I cannot believe we're going there and it like almost is like this is gonna be like, I can't stand how good this is gonna be. It was that feeling. But yet I knew the rules. I'm just like, oh yes. Tell me what the third column should be.
Erin (11:26):
You like, lemme lean it. Okay, so many like I have so many follow up questions. The first one that is so important in my mind, you've done improv.
Cy (11:34):
I've done improv.
Erin (11:36):
Okay, tell me this. Like tell, tell me all the things where, how, how long, all the stuff. So
Cy (11:42):
What's so funny is when I get on stage I speak to thousands of people on stage and people are like, you're so brave, you're so courageous. I'm actually an introvert. I am not scared when I get up because people don't realize like when you're giving a big monologue, you're in control completely. There's nothing vulnerable about getting on stage and giving a monologue unless you didn't prepare. Right? And so, and I always had kinda a hard time in theater as like wardrobe makeup girl, cuz I was never like back in the eighties, the skinny, tall blonde girl that got all the like leading parts. And so I went to this improv training. It, I've only done like a little bit, but it's something I really would love to perform in the future. I went to this improv training and I walk in and I've never felt more vulnerable, more like asked to do this.
Cy (12:33):
I thought Im free as a bird. I'm the most uninhibited person I can perform on demand. Like, and having to just get a beach ball thrown at me and like come up with some word play. I was just like, everybody's looking at me, everybody. See I never felt more like curling up in the fetal position in my lifetime. And then I started to see how so much of what I taught in my leadership that it should be a new leadership competency because people's, they wanna handle uncertainty with like, tell me the script and let's block it out and choreograph it and plan it and to end and and really cuddle our people. So they have nothing to do but read the script and I'm like, no more people need to get down and dirty. With improv I became so I haven't done that a lot, but I became a constant believer in it as a life skill and I couldn't believe how hard it was. Like I went to 15 years of therapy and improv brought ups. Not all my junior high issues came up. All of my mother issues came up like all of my dad. That's what I was thinking about in that scene. This guy started to take this thing down. This really raunchy sexual path. Every issue I had, I'm like, youre not doing, I told and hate so, and I won an A in the improv class. Yeah. So I'll say yes to this, but it's very wrong. <Laugh>.
Erin (14:09):
I love this so much. My cheeks actually are like hurting right now because I'm like, I'm smiling the whole way while you're talking about this because it's so true. And I will tell you too improv in my opinion, first of all, I love that you've done it. I love that you know the application. I love that you see the connection. It is this beautiful art form. But can I just tell you, it's hilarious what you said and I love that you have this therapy background. I actually started doing improv and treated it as if it was therapy.
Cy (14:39):
Amazing. And there's a lot of therapeutic models Erin that do that. Like Yes. Reality, you know we used to family sculpting, which is improv. So the chair in front of somebody, which is like, yep. There's so many methods and Richard Schwartz Internal Family Systems
Erin (14:57):
Yes.
Cy (14:58):
Uses a form of improv in its work. He'll put two unrelated people together and have them improv off each other in a out of their own issues. Which improv of course is of our own issues, but totally that's some of the most funny improv people have some issues like they aren't afraid of getting in the mess.
Erin (15:18):
I mean a thousand percent. And it's so, it's so there's so many things. I wanna just dive down into this rabbit hole with you about you big an introvert because mo of my team, I have 22 facilitators. I would say 18 of them say they're introverts and come alive on stage. We all hash it out on stage. I mean there's, there's so much that I see in your work that is relatable to the improv stage. And I love that you Yes. And did that third column cuz we need that third column. Okay. And we need that, we need that 2.5 hours in our research because you have used it to create amazing content. You talk a lot about ego in your work, which is something that I am completely fascinated about. I am currently a student in the metaphysical text of course. And mi miracles.
Erin (16:11):
So I'm really studying this And you even have a book called No Ego, which is a New York Times best seller. Okay. Cy, so exciting. Congrats to you on that. Thank you. So I wanna know, you talk a lot in this book from from the research I saw a lot about the strategies that you can use for eradicating entitlement and that can help change the energy of group meetings. I, I wanna hear if you're able to just a tool that would be helpful that if somebody is going through a negative energy vibe in their team right now, what is something that you can do to help eradicate that entitlement?
Cy (16:56):
First of all, any entitlement comes when people are seeing the world through the lens ego. So a single question for self-reflection can break up that entitlement. So if somebody comes to me and it's like, oh my gosh, have you heard and they didn't, now they're out to get me and I know what this is about and it's like, time out. What do you know for sure that single question can really unlock the egos grip on our view of the world. It changes everything without changing anything. Cause it's like, well actually I don't, well I have a question for you. If you close your eyes and softened your heart and softened your mind, would there maybe be more explanation for what's happening? And people are like, oh my gosh, I'll go work it like instantly just plugs and plays them differently. But favorite tool I use a lot with teams is thinking inside the box, outside the, they they have a problem in their group and they're like, let's think outside the box.
Cy (17:53):
What ideas do you have for how we could fix this? And what that does for leaders is it gets you and reality so confused in the eyes of your people because they come up with a, a way to fix the problem. That includes spending money, adding people you know, a lot of resources committed to changing, you know, reality. And each time they bring something up, you probably are in a position where you can't say yes. You have to say no. And if you do it differently and do what I call thinking inside the box, you already pre agree on what some of the solid constraints are and then you use my favorite word given that how could we, and you'll be amazed at the difference. Quick example, I had a team who needed to improve cleanliness of the, the unit they were operating in a hospital patient satisfaction scores, rated them lower than benchmark.
Cy (18:47):
I went into a meeting, I said, what ideas do you have? They're like, oh we could have environmental services cleaned three times a day. And it was like, oh I love your thinking and I just have to let you know that they can't cuz they're like understaffed and they were gonna ask us to do it just once a day. And then they're like, oh I know we could restore the unit. It needs painting. I'm like, well you know, actually that's capital budget like five. And the team thinks I'm reality. They're like, Cy, we come up with great solutions. You keep saying no and instead going in and saying, okay, let's draw a box. What are our constraints? Budget, environmental services, we to increase cleanliness given those constraints, think inside the box. How could we and people in position given every that they can have impact and accountability. Every one of our tools is it's predesigned in there a good mental process and good processes are how you get rid of waste and drama's emotional waste. So how you get rid of emotional waste, good mental processes, it's all built in and we give you a no ego. Like I think it's 12 different tools that they're that easy to use.
Erin (20:02):
Oh my god. Okay. My mind is blown here cuz this is like a version of Yes. And that I've never heard before. This is beautiful.
Cy (20:10):
Yeah. I just saw that connection as we were, as I was talking about. Yes. I'm like, yeah, because everybody's like, no and here's why instead of what could we say yes to?
Erin (20:20):
Oh my god, I love this so much. And this is also brings you to your other book, which is reality based leadership, which I wanna talk about too. But I, I love this because you said this in your speaker reel. You said, leaders don't manage people, they manage energy. And I love that you just said drama is waste. How do you get rid of waste? You create processes that help increase that productivity and you get rid of that that expended negative energy. So tell me a little, can you just elaborate on that quote that you said so beautifully? I love it. Like, I'm sorry, I just, I feel like this synergy of our work is so beautiful and I, you've, you just do it in this really cool way that feels really just genuine and au and authentic and and reality based, let me say that. But it, it just roots it in reality and it brings this lens of love to leadership and to work, which I'm so here for just full circle moment for me. Okay. Love
Cy (21:26):
It, love it.
Erin (21:26):
Back to you. Okay, tell us about the energy, managing energy.
Cy (21:30):
Yeah. And a lot of people say, you know, oh, so your philosophy, reality-based leadership is like tough love. And I'm like, no, reality is tough leadership's love, but it's gotta be like healthy love. If I'm protecting you from reality and you can confuse it with me and I'm buffering reality for you, you're not getting good feedback or good information to make better decisions. So I believe in a wholeness of the leadership competencies that we haven't heard before in the workplace. And one of 'em is that leaders will manage ener or people, they manage the energy of people. And the main direction you wanna manage energy is from why we can't and why we shouldn't. To what if we could, how could we? And about thousand times a day, we're picking up that energy and drama is is energy and it's energy that is not being put into wellbeing and results at work.
Cy (22:31):
And so it's like this waste, it's this emotional waste. So when I started to see how much drama was out there, two and a half hours per person. And for me it wasn't about productivity as much as it's time people are spending feeling miserable unnecessarily. Cause it's like joy or misery, same day your choice. And this isn't just toxic positivity, but it's like really finding a place where you can be inside that box joyfully. And it was like so much of the waste when I looked at continuous improvement, if it was waste, they would get rid of it through a process. And I started thinking, hey, I have a counseling background. If it's emotional waste, I can just teach people better mental processes, whether it's a tool or a question. And I started to see that as a leader. My whole role was to help people understand how their mind works.
Cy (23:26):
So they quit getting played by their ego and to understand how the world works. So they stop arguing with reality, which is is an argument they'll lose like a hundred percent of the time and just say yes given this, what can we do? And it brings people into this point of impact. If there's an un reality and you want a different future, there's this tiny little space that you gotta get into. Cause your choices in that space connect an UNP reality to a different future. And every one of our tools tries to get people with in their own energy, their own agency and then put those individuals energy towards what if we could. And that's what layers are doing. They're managing the energy of individuals. Let's toggle up and use all of your intelligence, not just your primitive ego brain. And then I'm gonna bring all of you together with a tool, with a good process so that energetically now I've aligned those energies. So it's like, it's like getting a tuning fork going and then getting all the tuning forks going and then getting all the frequencies focused together. I'm gonna retape that for you. Cause I dunno why might do not disturb.
Erin (24:35):
Oh no, that's okay. Leave it in. Leave it in. No mistakes, only gifts. I Oh, I love that. No mistakes only gifts fail. Yeah,
Cy (24:42):
I love that. So it, it's like if ener, if, if leaders could get outta the personal of what makes this person tick and you know, what can I say that they won't outta that peoples highest frequency, then put all those little frequencies together to good for the world. Like it's managing energy.
Erin (25:03):
Oh my god, I love it so much. And there's like, there's so many ways to <laugh>, I hate this phrase, so many ways to scan a cat
Cy (25:13):
And are people out there skin cats? Do people
Erin (25:16):
Do people? Yeah, there are, there are. I know, it's so bad. Don't skin cats, they need fur.
Cy (25:21):
And what, what neighbor that you're talking to when they say that, like you don't realize they're really real like Mina, right? And you're like
Erin (25:28):
<Laugh>.
Cy (25:28):
That's what he does at night.
Erin (25:30):
That's right in his garage with the light on. But so no, I love this because a lot of what I hear you say is like reframing the no to a yes And it's re it's giving that po and it, I love that you talk about it's not positive or positive toxicity or toxic positivity. That's the right way to say that cuz it's not. This is literally helping human beings just have a better human experience at work and feel seen, heard and valued. And when they can do that, then that's when the productivity and everything happens. We get rid of that waste. I just love this side.
Cy (26:07):
Well what I love is that the ego. Yes. And if you wanna argue, you know, it's no, and here's why. Ego to ego. Yes. And bypasses the ego and it just says, what can we agree on? And then here's where your inputs needed. How can we make that happen? And most people still wanna talk about whether it should be done at all. Yeah. And that's rather than like if that's where the organization wants to go and it's not illegal, immoral or marginalizing some population or it's not unethical. Like really focus on what if you could say yes. And a lot of people won't say yes cuz they think they're saying yes to all of it. I'm like, just say yes to the strategy and then join me in the how. That's your place for impact. Your place for impact isn't questioning the decision. If you have a flag, throw it on the field.
Cy (26:59):
If it's, but if we're just talking strategy, the way I see it, when I learn the strategy of a company I'm working with, unless I can throw a flag on the field or I withdraw from playing, right? I need to say yes and and bring my expertise to help them with the how. And that's putting a lot over my own preferences. And that's where it, it's vulnerable, you know? And, and a lot of times we are in these conversations, these no conversations and I'm just telling leaders, I'm like, if that's the conversation that you're in at that energy level, just end all exhausting conversations.
Erin (27:40):
Yeah.
Cy (27:41):
And start a new one. Like just, yeah, you know what, we've had this conversation, I'm just gonna back away from it. And, and I think that's the problem with coming back to work. Somebody's like, I want improv set to go this way. And somebody's like, I want this way. Why don't we meet all of our dad is three years old. Why don't we meet and start having conversations about how it would make sense to work together in the new world, given how we've evolved and been evolved by the last three years and the turning towards one another and being vulnerable and being willing to create something is the work you do. It's the work I'm teaching people to, you know, begin again. There's so much between artwork but that the reason there's so much between work is they're both based on universal principles that have been around forever. If you feel sad and separate, it's cause you separated through your ego into a no stance. If you want to feel love and belong, then say yes, turn towards us and rejoin the human race. Cause the whole world's a mess. And you can still be happy. Like we're our lives are messy. And that was, I just had a book come out last year called Life's Messy Live Happy. There's all
Erin (28:58):
Those
Cy (28:58):
Personal lessons.
Erin (29:00):
Oh my god, Cy.
Cy (29:02):
I'm talking too much. So
Erin (29:03):
No you're not, this is like, this is literally summing up everything that I truly believe in. Like that last, that last chunk right there is we could just mic drop in. Like just if you turn towards the light, if you make yourself give love internally, you can give it externally. And then by giving it externally, you're gonna receive it back. And that is literally how the world works. And if we could just bring that to work, we could ditch this drama.
Cy (29:33):
Absolutely. And you know why people aren't able to do this right now? They're under-skilled. Yes. They're
Erin (29:39):
Under-Skilled
Cy (29:39):
In new competencies like holding space, trusting the process, making amends using feelings as information like tuning into their gut, like using breath to come back to their bodies somatically like there's a whole new set of evolutionary, they don't even development evolutionary competencies that we need to be able to do stuff in this, in the workplace. Like if I don't do my boundary work, I can't love cause I'm too under-skilled at it without boundaries. I got, I can't love, it's too dangerous. Like, cause I don't know where I started a new end.
Erin (30:15):
I love this topic. I didn't think we were gonna go there, but I wanna talk about it because I think boundaries are so important, especially when it comes to our, our topic of love, this concept and just this overarching theme of ditching that workplace drama. If somebody from a workplace standpoint, let me just ask what you do. What is a healthy boundary that you set at work that has changed the way you show up?
Cy (30:41):
So before I give you an example, most people think I set boundaries to dictate how the world should work. Like how my staff should be. Like, don't call you, don't call me after eight o'clock, but boundaries are me not trying to control you. They're me telling you where the place you and I can meet, where I can love you and me at the same time. And they aren't just like non-negotiables, they're desires, preferences limits. Like I'm not good and need a break before I answer that question. So when I'm learning to set boundaries, I'm telling people, if this happens, here's how I will respond. Not what I need you to do. I have a desire if you wanna meet that. Great. And so some of the boundaries I have set have not at all been for my team. They've been giving my team permission to be my front facing boundaries.
Cy (31:41):
And every boundary I set in my business had to do with overcoming a fear of mine. And so I used to put two weeks of hiking, vacation on the calendar a year ahead of time and then torture myself by saying, well, if it's a good deal or if they'll, if they're like, if it's full price, like call me. And I mean I have that marked off, but like, you know, I just and so I kept it open and so for a year I was tortured about the vacation I was hoping to take and I would take like one thing make my vacation all disrupted. And so what I started doing, I don't really have like, don't call me a certain hours or I want work certain days, but I go through and every month just really block off beautiful things that I'm creating space for in my life. And a lot of it happens to be hiking right now. And then I just trust my staff and I trust the universe that I'll get enough. Like I quit trying to grow my business. I'm just like, my new boundary is enough, I just need enough.
Erin (32:40):
Oh my God.
Cy (32:41):
And so my whole team decided what enough was, I wrote a chapter on this in the book, my whole team decided what enough was and now that's all we do. And they're like, grow 10% no. Like we have enough. Like let's just do enough. And so like when we are close to enough, like we just don't work that much harder. We're anti hustle culture. The biggest boundary I set is I'm just, I don't buy into the whole hustle thing.
Erin (33:07):
I don't either. I'm so here from this. Yeah.
Cy (33:11):
I get the same success whether I hustle or not. I'm just happier when I don't hustle. But the success is the same. That's the biggest solution to wake up to is that a lot of times if you do the basics, all that extra stuff you do is just you keeping you distracted. While the universe like the most beautiful dream that's just keeping you busy so you don't screw it up. But when you learn to be able to just sit and keep your hands off of it, you can have a lot more free time.
Erin (33:40):
Oh my god, you know what, it took me seven years of running this business to finally come to that conclusion. And I don't, I don't, I've never used the words. It's what's enough. I love that.
Cy (33:55):
That's our new favorite word is what is is enough. I have three favorite words and which you love.
Erin (34:01):
Yes.
Cy (34:02):
Given which I love and enough in fact in my books life, happy not to keep bringing that up. I wrote a chapter on each one of those words.
Erin (34:13):
Okay, we gotta get the book. We gotta, I gotta read this book. I am so here for this conversation. You are such a light. I feel like every single person listening to the show needs to take it will take away a single nugget for them. For me it's enough. Like I'm taking that with me. I'm bringing that into the fold. That was so beautiful. I wanna ask you this because this is a question I ask every guest and our name of the company is Improve It and that it is I think your passion, your thing, the thing you were the it you were brought to this earth to do that contract you signed when you said size coming. So what is size it? What do you say? What do you think your it is?
Cy (34:53):
I believe my it is to live in this messy world out loud so that you can all see what living in the mess looks like. So I will take my lessons as they come. I'll do my best to self-reflect and learn 'em and that I'll do my best to report out to others. I don't think I can save anybody from any lessons. I think we we're born with our own flavor of trouble we need to get into and through. But I do think I can help people feel less alone as they're out there in the mask doing this thing really imperfectly. So I think that what I bring as my gift is this thing where in a weird way I have little shame about like, oh yeah, I did that and here's what I learned. And you're welcome to try it. So I think I can live out loud and allow other people the same privilege. So I don't need to live out loud and save you from anything. I'm just going to like live out loud. And so if you need something to focus on while you're living out loud, like look over here. I'm doing that su I screwed up daily. So if you need an example of that, like look over here. So I think I kinda like have lived a really cool, imperfect life on stage for other people to, to take what the, what helps and leave the rest.
Erin (36:15):
Oh my God, I'm so here for that. Failure, failure, failure, failure. I adore you. I am so grateful you came on the show. You really gave this word love a new meaning. I feel like everyone here needs to read your books, do all the things. So tell everybody where they can find you.
Cy (36:35):
Absolutely. So our website, which no one really probably uses the anymore, it's reality-based leadership.com. We're all over social media at Cy Wakeman, at Alex Door at Arbi. But you'll learn all those. Just go to at Cy Wakeman. And my books are all over the place. I have a great podcast called No Ego. And if you go back to like some of the early seasons, you'll get like tons of free training. So ugh, I encourage you to find us there.
Erin (37:04):
Oh my god, TikTok
Cy (37:06):
Is my newest. I just had some video. I've a bunch, but like 2.1 million views and people are like, you're hitting it on TikTok. I'm like, I don't really used to <laugh> TikTok. I don't either. Ok team. Yeah,
Erin (37:21):
It's good job team. Okay, well we'll find you on the ticky-tacky. I'm gonna, I connected with you on LinkedIn, which is how I, my team found you. And I'm just obsessed with you and I'm so grateful.
Cy (37:31):
I'm thrilled of all that, Erin. And I just, I'm so glad we met. What a cool thing.
Erin (37:35):
Me too. Oh my God. Forever. And you're ever a part of the improvement pees here. Okay, you're up, you're forever a part of this, this crazy little community that we have in the best way. Like the best, most fun, caring people. They care about the people that they serve and they just wanna show up and do great things. And that's what you're doing. So thank you so much for being here.
Cy (37:58):
Thank you. Thanks for all you do. Tell your team thanks for connecting us.
Erin (38:02):
I will. All right. Bye
Cy (38:06):
Bye.
Erin (38:15):
Improve it. PS I don't even know how to top this conversation. It was so good. It was so good. So if you're somebody listening and this title caught your eye because you have workplace drama, re-listen to this episode. If you're somebody listening and this title caught your eye and you press play because you're causing workplace drama, <laugh>, replay this episode. Send this episode to anyone in your organization who you know could implement change. And here is your other piece of homework. Number one is to share it, share it, share it, share it because it is so good. There's so many juicy chicken nuggets of wisdom in here that Cy brings forth. The second piece is to take one of those juicy chicken nuggets of wisdom and apply it. So for example, my takeaway from today is just do enough. When Cy said that it spoke to my soul, there's not a number, there's not a single piece of revenue.
Erin (39:16):
There's not a single thing that you can do higher than that enough to make you feel like you've achieved. So define enough for you, for your organization, for your team, and then live out loud as Cy told us in her it. Use the rest of that time to develop yourself, to develop yourself personally, professionally. But that enough spoke to me so much today because when we understand our own enoughs, when we understand our own selves, when we understand the higher power that is connected to us and we really dive into what motivates us, what drives us, and love ourselves, we're able to give that to our teams. And that output is reciprocal. You're gonna receive that love back. We're gonna ditch that wor workplace drama with that love. And we're gonna connect in a way that is so meaningful and allows people to show up in a, in a mission-driven fashion because they believe in what they're doing, because they feel the love that they're given and they give that love outwardly to others, especially themselves. So, you know what I'm gonna say, improve it Peeps. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it. Please share it. And then also keep failing. Keep improving cuz this world needs that. Very special it you are it that only you can bring. I'll see you back here next week. Bye.
Erin (40:53):
Hey friend, did you enjoy today's show? If so, head on over to iTunes to rate and subscribe. So you never miss an episode. Now, did I mention that when you leave a five star review of the Improve It podcast, an actual team of humans does a happy dance? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. That's right. So leave a review for us on iTunes, screenshot it and send me an email at info learn to improve it.com. I'll send you a personalized video back as a thank you. Thanks so much for listening. Improve It Peeps. I'll see you next Wednesday.