Episode 188: Seven Ways to Practice Self Love
Imagine a life where you’re too exhausted to grab the newspaper for your next-door neighbor. Where you snap at your best friend instead of letting them finish their story. Where you don’t offer to help plan your team’s end of year event because you’re maxed out.
Imagine a life where you can’t care for others because you’re not taking care of yourself first. This is the life we all live when we don’t practice self-care. This is the life that will continue if we don’t make self-care a priority.
In order to help your team, your family, and the community you’re a part of – you need to love you first. We need you to love you first.
In this episode, Erin gives you her go-to seven ways to practice self-care on a daily basis, not once in a blue moon when you think about it. These are the self-care tips for the busy, the stressed, the burnt out and for the times when you think you’re fine but your body knows you’re not.
If you’re working on taking care of you so you can take care of the priorities in your life – this is the episode for you. Implement one or all of these steps because you have a mission that is bigger than you, that starts with you.
ICYMI – Your Post-Episode Homework: Take one of these seven ways to practice self-love and implement it into your daily routine. You don't have to start with all seven – small steps make all the difference.
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Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 188 Transcription
Erin (00:00):
Hi new friend. I'm Erin Diehl, business improv edutainer Failfluencer and keynote speaker who is ready to help you improve your it, it being the thing that makes you you. So think of me as your keeping it real. Professional development bestie who is here to help you develop yourself into the best version of you possible so you can develop your team and lead with intentionality, transparency, and authenticity. Oh, and did I mention we're improving your IT through play? That's right. I'm an improvisational comedy expert who uses experiential learning to help you have your aha haha moments. Those are the moments when the light bulb goes off and you're laughing at the same time. So grab your chicken hat, your notebook, and your inner child because I'm gonna take you on a journey that is both fun and transformative. Welcome to the Improve It Podcast.
Erin (01:08):
Oh, improve It peeps. Welcome to the show. If you're new here, welcome to the Improvement Podcast. I'm Erin till your professional development bestie here to hold your hand, guide you through this crazy thing we call life as well as work. So let's get right into it. Today's show is all about seven ways to practice self love. Lemme know if this sounds like you. Okay, you're in a funk. Your ego has its arms wrapped around you and has you in a failure shame spiral. You're feeling like you are not worthy, you're feeling like you are not enough. You're feeling like a complete and utter failure on the regular. You have a scarcity mindset versus an abundance mindset. And the way that you're showing up at work is not the way that you want to present yourself to your team. The way that you're showing up at home is not the way you wanna present yourself to your family. The way you're showing up socially feels awkward and stiff and disingenuine. Does this sound familiar?
Erin (02:26):
My friends made Dear, dear friends of the Improvement podcast, let me just tell you, this is a story of a lovely lady enter, her name is Erin Deal Uhhuh. <Affirmative>. Literally, I just described probably the last month of my life to you. So let me start here. I just turned 40 about a month ago as the, when I'm recording this, it was a month ago. When you're listening to this, it was probably two months ago. You didn't send me a present. That's okay if you leave a five star Apple review on iTunes. That's all I need. That's all I need. All I need, I digress. Okay, so for my 40th birthday, my husband purchased me an Apple Watch. Now I have been a Fitbit fan for years, and I'm telling you, this is like the oldest school Fitbit. I just love it. It's small, it's compact.
Erin (03:22):
All it has is the amount of steps on it, and that's all I really need to know. I didn't have the heart rate monitor thing. I just had the number of steps and my Type A self was always like, can I get 12,000? I'm gonna walk back and forth down the hallway before I go to bed to make sure I'm at 12,000. Okay? That's how much I loved this Fitbit. So I got this Apple Watch and I was very hesitant to wear it at first. I had been wanting one, but I knew that this Apple watch was different. There was so much more to the Apple watch from the apps to even how I could view the weather text messages, which I immediately disabled notifications, calendar updates, and then there was the heart rate beats per minute.
Erin (04:15):
I am one of those people that when I get data and information, I become obsessed. So the heart rate beats per minute or on the very beginning or the very first page of my Apple Watch screen. I didn't learn how to change it until later. Technology mishap. Yes, okay. But I figured out how to change it down the road. But for the first few weeks, I did not have any way to get this beats per minute off my watch. And I was obsessed with checking it. I obsessed. The first week I got this watch, I wore it to bed. I happened to wake up in the middle of the night with a bad dream, what I assume was somewhat of a panic attack. My heart rate was super high and it sent me into this anxiety spiral. Now I'm telling you this story. I promise you keep listening. It has a point. My mom, if you're a longtime listener of this show, no. She had a stroke in 2020 and the stroke was due to a procedure that she had with her heart. She has AFib, she's having a routine procedure. She had a blood clot that went to her brain and that caused a stroke and then a series of strokes.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I
Erin (05:29):
Have had a massive fear of having AFib.
Erin (05:35):
I have a massive fear of losing my parents. I have a massive fear of abandonment. So this beats per minute on my watch was a constant reminder and a constant source of stress surrounding my heart. Now I'm sharing this with you because I'm talking about self-love today and I started to absolutely hate this watch and I started to hate my body and it caused me so much anxiety. I would watch the beats per minute rise and then when I saw it would get a little high, I would just automatically go right into fight or flight mode. My heart rate would go through the roof. So I went to the doctor and had a conversation, and as I'm recording this, I am wearing Hoer heart monitor to manage my heart rate. But what I realized through this process, who knows, maybe I'll get back the heart rate monitor and there is something wrong.
Erin (06:41):
But I'm gonna tell you what my own perception and my inner wisdom and guidance is telling me is that I don't have a heart problem. I have a mind problem. My ego swooped right in to this Apple watch and it took over my mind. It saw an opportunity to cause me anxiety. It saw an opportunity to get me off of my game. It saw it's on opportunity to allow fear to drive my day-to-day versus love. And it did. For three full weeks, I sat in anxiety. I sat in constant fear and brain fog due to this constant hamster wheel of my brain because I let my ego win.
Erin (07:38):
It took the tools that I have getting back into my mindfulness work and the tips and tricks and years of improv and mindfulness to help me get back to the state of inner peace that I know I'm supposed to teach and sit and speak here from. So I started implementing those tools and I got back to a space of self-love. And I know that the universe sent me this journey to sit here today and to teach you as your professional development bestie. I realize why I'm being sent this lesson. Let me just tell you, I really wish I didn't have to go through it <laugh>. But I am sitting here on the other side a month later with the realization and the self-love to help you transform your ego away from fear and back to the loving place that I know you can go inside your own brain.
Erin (08:52):
It doesn't take going to therapy, which I strongly believe in. It doesn't take spending hours and hours scouring the internet. These seven tips, my friend will get you from fear back to self-love, from anxiety, back to inner peace. And I know that they can work for you. They work for me. I'm sitting here as the case study, the living proof. So without further ado, get your pen and paper ready because here are your seven tips to go from fear back to self love. Here's number one, be mindful. 10 to 15 minutes right when you wake up and 10 to 15 minutes right before you go to bed. For me, this looks like waking up, putting in my contacts cuz she can't see. And then going and sitting in my space that I have reserved for meditation. I am reading a Course in Miracles right now, which is a metaphysical text and it is a beautiful course.
Erin (10:00):
It's very long. So I spend about 10 minutes reading and then I spend about 10 minutes journaling every morning. I journal now before I go to bed to get any anxiety is out on the paper, to think about the wins and the things that I'm grateful for throughout the day that had just ended. And I think ahead to the day that I that's coming for the wins that I want to have take place. These 10 to 15 minutes make or break the way I start my day and they affect my night. Truly. It's in those 15 minutes before I go to bed that I ask for inner peace to get a good night's rest, to feel great when I wake up the next day. So that's tip one. Be mindful when you wake and when you go to bed. Step two or tip two is to hydrate.
Erin (10:57):
This is your friend telling you to get some water right now. Okay? If you think that you're drinking enough water, drink more. I hate water. I'm just gonna tell you I hate it. We had Kara Golden on this show. She's the founder of Hint Water and she also hated water. So I know I'm not alone in this journey. And she created hint water to help people drink more water. It's fruit infused water with no artificial sweetener. Pro tip, if you don't like water, get some hint water. Pour a tiny little bit in your normal water. It will help you tremendously. Drink more water. Pro tip again. Get a large water cup. I'm sitting here with my huge Teal Yeti that has a straw for me. Having a plastic straw just makes it easier to drink. It makes my water stay cold cause I like cold water and it really helps me remind myself, okay, you need to have this with you at all times.
Erin (11:55):
My friend and listener and neighbor of this show, Andy Meley is the former US hockey captain for the Olympics. That's right, the US Olympics. And him and I had a conversation about just overall health and my anxiety and his first question was, are you drinking enough water? He turned me onto this brand called Liquid iv, which is a little supplement pack to help you get more nutrients and hydration into your day. So now I am starting every morning by filling a 16 ounce glass of water with the liquid IV to get myself hydrated from the get-go. And we will link to that in the show notes. They're not a sponsor, but Liquid iv. What's up? I would be, y'all are amazing. Okay. Tip three, work in an environment that inspires you. So perhaps you're listening to this show right now on a lunch break and you have to go back to the office with the fluorescent lighting and the brown beige walls.
Erin (13:04):
Take your laptop and go sit in a coffee shop. For me right now, it is the most beautiful time of year. I live in Charleston, South Carolina and I cannot be outside enough. In fact, I was somewhat annoyed I had to leave my little perch outta my back porch to come inside to record this. I love y'all, but that's where I'm at. I love being outside. I love sunshine. I love vitamin D. I like hearing birds chirping. So for me, if I get a chance to sit outside and work, not in direct sun cuz you can't see your screen, but outside where I have some shade, that's where I thrive. So find a space that inspires you and work from there. It's gonna bring you back to your inner peace and it's gonna feel so good you're gonna enjoy working more, which is bringing more love and positivity to your day today.
Erin (14:00):
So try that, try that. Okay, step four, take breaks or you will break. Throughout the workday, we can get so sucked in to our slack channels, our team messaging, our emails, our Instagram, our LinkedIn. We'll scroll TikTok. We'll then pick up our phone and see a series of chats going off that we feel inclined to respond to. It's information overload and it's overwhelming. If we don't take a break, we will break. I saw this tip recently from one of our previous guests on the show, Kim Scott, who is the author of Radical Candor, and she had this tip on her Instagram which said, set a timer for 25 minutes. After the 25 minutes is over, get up, take a five minute break, come back and start a new 25 minutes. You're giving yourself moments to enjoy life. You're getting away from your screen. Those moments for me are the moments where the magic happens, where I actually think more clearly.
Erin (15:10):
You can go for a quick walk. You can play with your pet, you can listen to a podcast, you can listen to an amazing playlist, but find moments throughout your day to take breaks. I'm just gonna call this out. I love him. I love my husband and he has a fantastic job. However, he said to me the other day, oh, I got outside for eight minutes. Eight minutes. That made me so sad. This was during the workday. Finding time in your day to take a break is crucial to loving yourself more. It's crucial to loving the people you serve more. Now, if you're listening and you are an anyone in the medical profession, I understand how hard this is. If you work from home and you have the ability to take five minute breaks here and there, I want you to start implementing this right away.
Erin (16:08):
It is going to change the way you feel. All right. Here is tip five. Fuel your bad day. I'm gonna tell you this. Listen this right here. When people say, oh, put fuel in your body, eat healthy, blah, blah, blah. It really matters. It really matters. When I was going through, let's just call it the attack of my watch, okay? I don't know if I like that title W workshop it, we'll workshop it. But when I was going through this period of anxiety this month, I was also eating really poorly. I'm a pescatarian. So I have been only eating fish for the past 15 plus years. Since 2007, I've only eaten fish. I stopped eating meat just purely for health reasons and it helps me feel better. I just felt so much better. And I typically eat really healthy Monday through Friday just because I know I need to be at optimal capacity in my brain.
Erin (17:13):
I need to have the proper things in my body in order to give you the proper output, right? This period, I was on vacation for a week in Costa Rica, which was completely amazing. Jumped off a 40 foot cliff. Yes she did, but I was also eating really poorly. And when I say poorly, for me, that's a lot of processed foods, chips, fries, carbs, high cream, sweets, all the things that are great in moderation. But I was eating them in excess. And I have to tell you, my anxiety's peaked, peaked and I just didn't feel as energetic as I normally do. So I've really listened to my body and part of loving ourselves is really listening and honoring what our body needs. And I know for me that complex carbs really play a toll on my mental health. The sugar causes my anxiety to spike. This is true.
Erin (18:18):
This is not diagnosed by a doctor. This is literally how I feel in my own skin. And so I've decided to remove gluten from my diet for the next couple of weeks to test to see how I feel, which really means I am eliminating breads, processed foods, sugar, and eating more whole foods, which is a lot of my diet anyway. So it's not a huge change. I am eating things like gluten-free crackers and gluten-free bread, but I am removing the gluten in there and really trying to focus on my health, my overall health to help myself function at the level that I need to function at. So take care of your body, what you put into your body will fuel your brain. So think about that every time you go to pick up something that is not going to give you the energy that you need, especially if you're trying to help overcome something like anxiety or fear.
Erin (19:26):
It's huge. So that's number five. Number six, and we need to do an entire episode on this, is to set boundaries with your time. Again, when you are in this place of fear and you're in a fierce scarcity mindset versus abundance, a lot of times we feel overwhelmed and we say yes to things that are not really yeses in our mind. They feel more like an obligation to say yes to it. If it is not a hell yes for you, then it is a hell no, period. For example, this past weekend we had a jam-packed weekend, several birthday, two birthday parties, a really fun day on the water with some friends, and I got invited to a happy hour on Sunday. And I love this person who asked me to go to her house, into her home, who was making it a awesome girl's night or afternoon on a Sunday.
Erin (20:27):
And let me just tell you the FOMO was real. But I knew after the weekend that I had that there would be no energy left and that I needed that time and that space to sit to be, to plan my week and to just allow myself downtime. So really listen to what your body is saying and if your body is saying, please don't go, please stay at home, please press pause. Set that boundary and no one is going to be upset. Trust me, from years of people pleasing, they'll miss you. They'll wish you were there, but you are going to be happier. And that's what self-love is all about, taking care of you so you can take care of the priorities in your life. Finally, here is tip number seven, strong evening routine. Now we have an entire episode on the show for you all about an evening routine.
Erin (21:29):
I'm pulling it up for you right now because I have to tell you, this episode is huge. This is honestly one of my favorite episodes of the show including our morning routine episode, which is in one of the very beginning episodes. It matters. The way you start and end your day is so important. So this episode is episode 180 6, your Evening Routine and Essential Five Step Guide for Busy Leaders. So check that out. It's two episodes from this one. So let me say this, listen to that episode in full and also include in that a look in the mirror and an opportunity at the end of the day to tell yourself, I see you and I love you.
Erin (22:25):
This simple act just reaffirms to yourself that you are in a space of being, that you are in a space of allowing, that you are in tune and listening and connecting with your inner guide and being a space and a place for you to receive information that can help guide you through your day to come. So let me recap these. Number one, be mindful right when you wake and right before you go to bed. Step two, this is step two and how to practice self-love. Make sure you are properly hydrating. Step three, work in an environment that inspires you. Get outside, go to a coffee shop, go to a co-working space, but be inspired as you work. Step four, make sure you are taking breaks and listening to your body throughout the day. Step five, fuel your body with what your body in particular needs in order to perform at its optimal peak. Number six, sound set boundaries with your time. And number seven, have a solid evening routine. Episode 180 6 of this show is going to guide you step by step in that, but it is truly an opportunity for you to set yourself up for success for the next day, to give yourself time for you for that self-care that you so desperately deserve. So where I wanna end today is getting back to this idea of self-love.
Erin (24:15):
I implemented all of these things after that month period of just endless anxiety. I would not say that I'm a hundred percent healed, but I would say that I am about 90% there. And I will tell you it's because of these tips and tricks that I've implemented into my life that I'm seeing tremendous results. I've gone from this place of fear and lack, which translates into my business. Let me just share that for free. When I am in a space of fear and lack, we see that in our results and improve it. I don't know any leader who can tell you differently. You have to be in a right head space in order to attract the right team members, the right clients, the right partners. It's all about mindset. And it starts with you. It starts with you loving yourself. Self-Love is the most unselfish act you could give yourself. So I want you to focus on what's working. Have an action plan. You have seven tips here lined out for you. This is your seven step action plan. Don't let your ego win. You need to be at the highest place to help your teams, to help your family and help the communities you're you serve. We need you to love you. I love you. I really do.
Erin (25:54):
I want you to know from truly the depths of my soul, I can feel your energy through this microphone when I speak to you because I know who you are cuz I am you. And I know that this story that I shared today was meant for you. We've all been in low places and it is up to us to get ourselves back to a space of living in abundance. So please take these, take one of them and implement. You don't have to start with all seven. Just take one and let me know how it served you. I really want to know we're in the process of building a very strong community here for Improve IT Peeps. There is so much in store. There's gonna be ways for you to connect with each other. There's going to be ways for you to spread the mission of what we do and how you can help other people infuse their lives with play, laughter, levity, positivity. So know it starts with you. I need you to implement these steps cuz we have a mission that is bigger than us. Take these steps, put them into motion. Let me know how it's going. You know what I'm gonna say? Keep failing, keep improving because this world needs that very special it that only you can bring and I cannot wait to see what you bring to it. See you next week.
Erin (27:32):
Hey friend, did you enjoy today's show? If so, head on over to iTunes to rate and subscribe. So you never miss an episode. Now, did I mention that when you leave a five star review of the Improve It podcast, an actual team of humans does a happy dance? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. That's right. So leave a review for us on iTunes, screenshot it and send me an email at info Learn to improve it.com. I'll send you a personalized video back as a thank you. Thanks so much for listening. Improve It Peeps. I'll see you next Wednesday.