Episode 198: Let’s Talk about Anxiety, Perimenopause, and Mental Health with Mandi Graziano
The way you wake up is the way your day goes, unless you do something about it. Whether it’s in a furry, in a funk, or in fervor for life—it will continue to run through your day like a leaky sink you don’t have time to fix.
Hospitality expert and women’s health advocate Mandi Graziano has come to this realization, and has insight to share with you that will change how you view your emotional and physical cycles in any given day.
In this episode, Erin and Mandi talk about befriending your anxiety and give you tangible tips for honoring what you have always known you need.
More about Mandi Graziano: Mandi Graziano has been in the hospitality business for more than 20 years and is a contract negotiator for her global client base. Having worked in leadership roles, catering, and sales & operations for Marriott, Starwood, Hard Rock Hotels and Caesars Entertainment—Mandi is an expert in all things hospitality. She’s earned several (and we mean several) awards including: Chairman’s Club, President’s Club, Top Producer, and Salesperson of the Year.
Her award-winning book Sales Tales hit the charts as Amazon's number one bestseller, new release, and bestseller in travel and tourism in 2021. Mandi founded the FaceTime Coaching Company in 2007, where she helps individuals and companies be better salespeople through her high energy and custom coaching sessions.
Today, Mandi teaches site selection and contract negotiation at the San Diego State University Hospitality and Tourism management program and is on the board for the California Hotel Lodging Association Hospitality Foundation.
ICYMI – Your Post-Episode Homework: 1) Take one of the methods that Mandi gave us in today's show and put it into motion for your own life. 2) If this episode moved you, please pass it on to a friend, a colleague, or someone you haven’t spoken with in a while or consider leaving us a review on iTunes so we can continue to create content that serves you. Let’s remind each other that we’re not alone—we're in this uphill climb together (forever).
Show Links:
Dr. Alessandra Wall’s LinkedIn
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Connect with Mandi Graziano:
Mandi’s website
Connect with Erin Diehl:
@itserindiehl on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter
Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 198 Transcription
Erin (00:01):
Improve it peeps. O M G. Today's show is gonna blow your mind. I am so excited for you to meet my friend Mandi Graziano. Oh my God. She is gonna give you some tangible tips today. I'm talking tangible. So have your pen and paper a notebook on your phone ready, because it's gonna get real. We're talking all about anxiety, women's health, perimenopause, and just overall mental health in today's episodes. Let me give you a little background on Mandi. She's been in the hospitality business more than 20 years. She's vice president of global accounts for H P N Global, where she's a site selection specialist. Say that three times and contract negotiator for her global client base. She's earned the awards of Chairman's Club, president's Club and Top Producer. Now while on the hotel side, Mandi worked in leadership roles and catering, sales and operations for Marriott, Starwood, hard Rock Hotels and Caesars Entertainment.
Erin (00:59):
Now working for these hotels, she's been awarded top producer, salesperson of the Year, best Site Inspection of the Year, and Sales Strategist Awards. She is currently an instructor at San Diego State University Hospitality and tourism tourism management program, teaching site selection and contract negotiation class, and is on the board for California Hotel Lodging Association, hospitality Foundation. She is very bored. She doesn't do enough. No. That is a huge sarcasm. She is so talented and even with all of these things that you just heard me rattle off, you're going to hear in today's episode how she balances them all. Now, her award-winning book sales tells the hustle, humor and lessons from my life and sales hit the charts at Amazon's number one bestseller. Number one, new release, and number one bestseller in travel and tourism in 2021, selling Power Magazine ranked her book the number one recommended book for fall of 2021.
Erin (01:57):
And number one, meaningful book you should buy for your sales teams. She founded the FaceTime Coaching Company in 2007 where she helps individuals and companies capture more sales and clever and compelling ways, and grows entrepreneurs and teams to be better salespeople Through her high energy and custom coaching sessions, you are gonna feel that energy, that joy radiate in today's episode. I'm gonna stop talking so you can hear from the one, the only Mandi Graziano. Hi new friend. I'm Erin Diehl, business improv Edutainer Fail, flu and keynote speaker who is ready to help you improve your it, it being the thing that makes you, you. So think of me as your keeping it real professional development bestie who is here to help you develop yourself into the best version of you possible so you can develop your team and lead with intentionality, transparency, and authenticity. Oh, and did I mention we're improving your IT through play? That's right. I'm an improvisational comedy expert who uses experiential learning to help you have your aha haha moments. Those are the moments when the light bulb goes off and your laughing at the same time. So grab your chicken hat, your notebook, and your inner child because I'm gonna take you on a journey that is both fun and transformative. Welcome to the Improve It Podcast, Mandi.
Erin (03:35):
Okay. This is a long time coming. I am so glad that you're on the show today. Thank you for being here.
Mandi (03:42):
I am so glad to be here. My Teal Sisters, unite Teal, Oprah, Oprah fans. Yes, all
Erin (03:48):
Of it. I have my vision board in front of me with Oprah. You are wearing Teal, our favorite color. And I met going on your show with Imani Adventures in Business. Yes. And ever since we've become fast friends, and I have to tell you, I'm so grateful because I feel like we've just had this vulnerability with each other that is super special and rare. And I just feel like our audience is going to eat and soak up everything you say today because lather,
Mandi (04:22):
They're gonna lather in all of it. We'll lather in them. There'd be so much reciprocity in the lathering. Let's
Erin (04:28):
Take baths. Let's take Lathering baths. <Laugh>. Okay. I'm super here for this. Okay. But let's start by setting an intention for the show. So what's one word that you want to give our listeners today? Or even like, you just want to have in the back of your mind going through the show.
Mandi (04:45):
Hmm. Joy?
Erin (04:47):
Yes. Yeah.
Mandi (04:50):
Yeah. What about you? What's your word?
Erin (04:52):
Oh, that's a good question. My word, I'm gonna say it kind of, it's in coincides energy. Like I just feel like I feel, you know, energy is a huge thing and knowing you, I love your energy. It gives people who give me energy or like my people. So I'm like energy. I want some of that goodness. And I wanna give it too. So I, like I said, I'm super stoked you're here. We bond over so many things from the Color Teal to our love of Oprah as well as just our, our like, just of being vulnerable and keeping it 100. And here's how you came on the show today, just giving our listeners a, a backstory. So I was posting on Instagram about my own journey with anxiety and perimenopause, and then you reached out to me on my day yas and shared your story with me. And it was so helpful. It made me feel so much less alone. I felt so grateful in that moment. So thank you first of all, but let's start there. I wanna hear if you can share your story about your anxiety disorder and the role it plays in your life.
Mandi (06:08):
Yes. I mean, I'm happy to share it and I, I have to go bold for a second, is women of our age, right? Like, we have to be shouting the word period and menopause and perimenopause. 'cause When we whisper it to make other people feel comfortable, we are doing a disservice to all of those ladies that are younger than us who nobody talks about this. So we don't want to continue that legacy, right? Because I know when I started going through this, nobody talked about this. Not even my mom who I adored. Gosh, she talks about everything <laugh>, but so <laugh>, I'm gonna, I'm probably gonna say some words that might trigger or make people feel a little uncomfortable, but it's all intentional because we gotta get more comfortable with those words that we whisper, because in a favor, we're not doing anybody favors by that.
Mandi (07:03):
So yeah, I mean, my anxiety journey and para perimenopause coincided with each other. I had been having experiences for years that I didn't realize. I now called them my pink flags. They were my warning flags that eventually turned into a red flag. And so I think that was my first lesson, and I think we talked about this before we came on, is your body talks to you. You just gotta listen to it. And when you listen to it, things, you know, end up working out. But a lot of times we don't listen to our body. So it was, gosh, I'm in San Diego, it was a beautiful San Diego Day. I was on the phone with a customer and we were chatting and all of a sudden my jaw locked. And I was like, I'll call back, I'll call you back.
Mandi (07:54):
My jaw completely locked and my mouth went completely dry. And I was like, did I just get a gob stopper? Like, am I <laugh>? And then I went outside and I'm just like, maybe I'll just lay down. So I laid down, it was a beautiful day. I laid down on the grass, I looked up at the sky. My husband, my dog comes out next to me. She's licking me. She's like, oh, this is fun. My husband comes home. He's like, BU what are we doing? Are we, we we are we praying to the universe? I'm like, no, we're not doing, we're not doing any of that. Like, I can't, I can't function. Like my, I'm, my jaw is locked and my paws, oh, my paws. Not my dog too <laugh>. My hands are sweat, my sweat. And I'm, I'm having these sensations, you know, like, I don't know what to do.
Mandi (08:37):
My, my ears were ringing, my vision was blurred. So he called my mom and back in Ohio and good old cath wise cath. My husband's scooter says, I think, I think she's having a hot flash. And my mom's like, no honey, she's not having a hot flash. She's probably having an anxiety attack. Anxiety runs in our family. You need to take her to the er. I'm like, why? Why am I 41 years old? And nobody told me anxiety runs in our family. Like, say, Tom, thank you. So my husband gets in the car and we go to the ER and they did all the tests, right? Because you think you're having a heart attack. They do all the tests, they do the E K G, they do every, all the enzymes, the the thing. And they sent me home with a anxiety anxiety diagnosis.
Mandi (09:28):
So then I visited with my general practitioner a couple weeks later and we did some tests. And then I visited with a psychologist and a psychiatrist. And so I got diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder. Now here's the crazy thing is apparently I have had this my whole life, but it's just been latent. And the reason why it was coming to the party, it was like really kicking into gear was because my body chemistry changed. Yeah. Because my hormones were changing because I was in perimenopause. So my general practitioner was like asking me about periods and asking me about mood swings and asking me about night sweats and sleeps and all this stuff. And I'm like, I have all of that. I had just gained 50 pounds, all these things. So we, I went to my ob, G y n and sh we did the test.
Mandi (10:14):
I can't remember if it's the L M P S M P, it's some, there's three initials. I did the test and my numbers were like, picture perfect for perimenopause. So then I was like, well, how do I deal with this? 'cause This kind of sucks. And so then I hired an anxiety coach who's a psychologist, but she ex she's an expert in women's psychology and women's anxiety. So her name's Dr. Alessandra Wall. If you are not, you should follow her on LinkedIn. She doesn't do anxiety coaching anymore, but she is a leader for women. She's awesome. Okay, we'll link that. And I, I saw her once a week. Once a week for many meet winks. And and she taught me about the science of anxiety. And she taught me, she asked me to really consider, you know, can you think of these other times where this might've manifested?
Mandi (11:08):
And when I really went back into the scroll of my life, right, I thought about all the little films I had. Like I remember, you know, when I was in fourth grade playing up on the softball team, I was playing on the fifth grade team. And I was nervous about it. And my mom would be like, you're always so mean when you're nervous. Mm-Hmm. But the reality is, this unmanaged anxiety can manifest. I learned this from dr. We can manifest into like fits of anger or you, you get rage or you get meaner than you are, right? And then I think back to when I was a brand new leader. I was 29 years old, director of sales and marketing for this huge pro project. And I was an a-hole <laugh>. I was, was, I cannot imagine, well, I was though I was the worst leader because I wasn't sleeping, wasn't drinking water, wasn't fueling myself the way I need to be fueled.
Mandi (12:00):
And I was stressed out because I wanted to do a good job. And, but now I realize the reason why I behaved the way I behaved was 'cause I had unmanaged or mismanaged anxiety. So I mean, I can go on and on and on about this, but like I, what I really learned from all of this is that now I know when my symptoms kick in, I listen to the very first symptoms. So for me, my very first symptom is the tingling of my arms. When my arms start tingling, I know I'm probably within 24 hours of an anxiety attack. And so I just can't either cancel appointments or I take a nap. I just do a body reset and I have to, otherwise it would be debilitating. So I'm, I just pay attention to myself now.
Erin (12:46):
Mandate. Okay. I literally was sitting here because my left arm was tingling, like holding it on the chair.
Mandi (12:53):
Aw,
Erin (12:54):
Erin, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm sorry. Well, no, and that's, I think, you know, I'm going through post-concussion syndrome. So like that's also a product of that which anxiety also heightens everything. But that is such a wonderful, wonderful example to myself, to women, to listen to your body. You even said before we hit record, you know, my voice has been going out. I've been vo I'm vo voice rest since three o'clock yesterday. Like, that's a sign, right? Like, we need to rest this sign in my arm. Like I, I know, like, I'm just gonna be honest with you, Mandi, before this episode, we recorded this. I was like, deep in work and with this T b i, I have to stop every like 30 minutes or every hour and give myself breaks. And I pushed myself for two hours and I was feeling it and I was like, oh man, I might have to cancel this, but you know what?
Erin (13:47):
You're giving me good energy. I'm feeling this. But it's, it's that listening that I wanna take back with me today. And it's the listening that I want our listeners to take back with them because it's so important. And especially if we, and it sounds very similar to a lot of people's journeys as our body chemistry changes, which for you, you were 41 when this happened, you can go back and realize like, okay, it didn't come out full blown before, but it was always there and it could have been full-blown, but something didn't, didn't allow it to go to the full-blown place. So now you've, let's, let's go back to the story really quick. I just wanna just emphasize those few points. 'cause They're so important. Listening to our bodies is huge. Getting help is huge. You saw, you sought out a team of people, you had resources. What has transpired for you now? So now you let me ask that and then I wanna come back to a couple more questions. Where are you now with anxiety?
Mandi (14:57):
Yeah, it's a great question. So that was seven years ago. Okay. So I would say I'm really vigilant about taking breaks and, and I think whether you are a man or a woman, young, old, if you have an anxiety disorder or not, we have to bake in breaks throughout our day because our brains, they don't function well when they have all the windows open and they're tie tie, right? Like, think about your kids, think about your kids when, when they, when they're just too tired. You know, you just go to the basic human form. Like, we just don't function. Now we all put on a good masquerade, but we just don't function well. So I actually schedule breaks every 90 minutes. I take a 10 minute break. That 10 minute break cannot be scrolling on a phone. I literally go outside. I have a swing in my backyard, I go outside, I sit on the swing and I stare.
Mandi (15:51):
I daydream. I practice a o n the art of nothing. And I give myself a reset. Now people are probably thinking, that's crazy. I don't have time to do that. But the reality is, is I run three businesses. I don't have time either, but I prioritize the time for the breaks because I know I'm in this for the long game. And if I don't take these little steps, now I know what the end of my week looks like. I know that I can't function, I know I can't form sentences and I'm useless. I'm probably not nice, you know, I, I'm, I'm useless to the people that I love and the people around me. So making breaks has been a really big important thing for me. And then I wanna comment on something you just said where you said like, Hey, I, I worked, you know, I learned through T B I that I have to take a break every 30 minutes or so.
Mandi (16:41):
At the height of this, the doctors originally prescribed me some medicine and I did take the medicine for six months. I'm not a medicine taker, but I did because the doctor said, you don't have to do this forever, but you need to just level set your body and then you can figure out what to do next. So I wanna encourage people that are against doc, you know, pharmaceuticals or whatever, just be open-minded to that because you don't have to do it forever, but it could level set you and it could change your life. It changed mine. But at the beginning, like the anxiety disorder was so bad, it was debilitating. Like I couldn't, it got to a point that I couldn't make it through the day without some sort of physical symptom. So, and so taking breaks is okay and lying down when you don't feel okay is okay.
Mandi (17:27):
Or if you're in, if you had to cancel today, that also would've been okay. So I think like on both ends, I am much more empathetic now when someone's like, you know, Hey, I have this, this and this. I can't do this. I'm like, no worries, let's just work it out another time. So I think if you don't experience these things, practice empathy. And if you do experience these things, really give, put those tactics in place for yourself. A final tactic I always do is I learned through watching myself over, you know, the course of a year on this is when I get home from a work trip, which, you know, we're always, we're on the airplanes, we're always flying the friendly skies, right? So when I get home from a work trip, I normally will have some level of anxiety attack in the 48 hours after I return.
Mandi (18:14):
And I didn't connect the two for a while and it doesn't matter. I remember one time I was just relaxing in my backyard and all of a sudden I started getting the symptoms. I'm like, there's nothing going on here. Yeah, well that's when my bod my body really likes to do it because your body's in fight or flight, right? And all those chemicals are cruising around and they're like, Hey, where's the stress? Where's the party? And when you don't have any stress or any party, your body is still looking for that, right? So, ah, that's when it reacts. So I, whenever I travel now, I always am very mindful of what happens in those two days when I get back. So maybe it's taking less phone calls, maybe it's taking less appointments, maybe it's, you know, scheduling things out in a different way. But I'm just super mindful of those two days when I get back too.
Erin (19:00):
Oh my God, Mandi, these are, I feel like this conversation was meant to happen today. Okay. Today. Oh, that's so happy. Not only for people listening, but I'm just gonna selfishly say for me, okay, this one's for
Mandi (19:14):
Me peeps.
Erin (19:15):
This one's for me.
Mandi (19:16):
You deserve it.
Erin (19:17):
Yeah, because I will tell you. Okay. Just gonna like boil it down and kind of bring in my own story just to relate and also empathize. I know that this post-concussion syndrome that I have is happening for me. It's not happening to me. And I know that because the way that I was living my life for the first 40 years could not continue for the next 40. And I know that the things that you just mentioned to me, taking three, say working for 90 minutes. 90 minutes, and to taking a 10 minute break, can I just tell you, getting up to pee sometimes used to be an arduous task for me to pull myself away from my computer. Like a human bodily function that is like a normal thing. I would be too engrossed in whatever it was I was doing. Like sometimes I would just like almost pee my pants. Like that is not okay. Aaron. I used to
Mandi (20:18):
Do that too. Yeah.
Erin (20:20):
Ah, and then the, the piece about travel, I have realized, especially with this head injury, how much travel takes out of my body. It just, even before I, I would just keep going and pushing. And I think that is such a beautiful reminder to anyone who has to travel for their job. Even traveling for vacation. To keep in mind when you come home, you need like a two day reset. 'cause I'm on day two right now. I just got back from a trip on Monday and I'm still feeling the, feels like I'm still like coming off that trip. And those resets are so important. And these resources that you just mentioned, these tools are so important. And the awareness that you have with the signal of your hands tingling is so key. What can you also go into what other symptoms or signals that you might have that tell you, okay, I need a break.
Mandi (21:18):
Yeah, I mean, tingling of my arms, ringing of my ears and my vision gets a little blurred, but not like where I'm gonna fall over, but just gets a little, those are the, the top three things that if it gets to my vision, getting a little wonky. I should have taken a break like an hour and a half ago. Yeah. So the, the tingling in my ears, and it's not, it's, it's a, it's like a light ring. It's not even, it's, it's like when you're in a loud space. Yeah. And then you go to a quiet space and your ears tingle for like 10 minutes. It's very light. But I never used to pay attention to it. 'cause I always used to be like, you can do this. Just push through this. You got this, you got this. You know, no pain, no gain, all that silly stuff.
Mandi (22:02):
It's like we just ignore all that stuff. And then going back to the travel thing, somebody once told me, a doctor once told me, I think it was a doctor. It wasn't somebody that was treating me. I think it was, it was just a conversation with a doctor. It was talking about trauma responses and how your body reacts to what you don't even know is a traumatic experience. And that travel is traumatic and it can, it's traumatic because everything's always changing. There's the potential, something you could be late or it could be canceled or you could forget something. There's trauma with travel that you don't even know your body is going through. 'cause You're just going, you know, you're just living your normal life that when you get back from traveling, whether you have a disorder or not, it's actually also really good to take a two day break because your body does go through a level of trauma. It's like that book, have you read the book? The Body Keeps Score.
Erin (23:01):
No, but you're like the third person. It's on my Amazon cart. Okay. In in the cart. Yes. I'm getting it. This is the Universe saying Read it now. Okay.
Mandi (23:09):
Yeah, I get it. But it talk, it does, it talks about all the traumas you think are traumas and then the traumas you actually go through that you don't even know you're going through, but you're still carrying with you. Like one of the examples is a baby coming outta the birth canal. Oh yeah. That is very traumatic for a baby, right? Obviously traumatic for the mother. Yes. But it's traumatic for the baby. And some people carry around that trauma with them their whole life, but they don't even know it's a trauma until they dig deep or whatever that is. So, you know, there's also these microtraumas that happen that you don't even know mm-hmm. That your body just needs rest from. Yeah, we just need a rest from talking all day. Or you just, you just need a rest from the, the fire drills of the day. And that's okay.
Erin (23:52):
Oh, Mandi, God bless it. I, you know, this is so funny. This is literally, I could like talk about this topic all day long because I feel like very, I feel very blessed that in the majority of my life, of course everyone has trauma. But the very first half of my life I moved, that was traumatic several times. But there wasn't a ton of things that I would deem super traumatic. And so for me, my trauma has all happened in the past seven years and I didn't realize it until recently. And so it's just making everything seem so much more difficult. Also, at the same time, I, I'm a mom and I'm at somewhat of like the mid level of my career, you know? And so it's just recognizing those minor traumas. My friend and I just talked about minor stressors, like even living in Chicago, I used to live in Chicago.
Erin (24:49):
Finding a parking space was like a, a thing that you would have to do every day. And that was stressful. So finding ways to mitigate those minor stressful in your normal day to day. And then also recognizing things that are gonna take you out of your comfort zone and giving your body time to process. And then reset, I think is what I'm taking away from this. I love the tools that you mentioned, the 90 minutes and then 10 minute break where you just like stare out the window, which I'm absolutely obsessed with because also I had a conversation about that recently where my friend and I thought, you know, when's the last time you just sat and stared outside? And I, I couldn't tell her the last time I did that. I was like, I don't just sit ever. I don't just sit. I'm always doing.
Mandi (25:38):
And there's studies that's, there are study, there's neurological studies out there that actually show the brain what it looks like, a brain that doesn't take a break in a day. And a brain that actually stops and takes a break. Like the rewiring that happens and the regeneration that happens. So, and the creativity that happens. So like there's, you know, I'm not an expert, but don't believe me. I just am a nerd and read all this stuff. But
Erin (26:05):
I believe you
Mandi (26:05):
Do your own. Yeah, everybody do your own research. There's, there's science, there's true science behind taking brain breaks.
Erin (26:12):
I love this so much and I'm gonna actually, you're just inspired me to bring this into my culture at my team. And other leaders listening too. If you have the ability to do that with your own team, I think this is something that people will greatly benefit from and also appreciate. I wanna talk to you more about some tips and tricks. Are there any other tools that you use that would be helpful? Because that, those two right there are huge.
Mandi (26:40):
Yeah. So two other ones as my mornings and I know everybody has a morning ritual or whatever, but for me, the way I start my day is how my day will be. So if I start my day in a flurry, a frenzy, hectic, frazzled ness, it's gonna be like that all day long. So I try and give myself time in the morning. Not a lot of time, but enough time. I do r p in the morning, rise, pee, meditate. Yeah. And I don't meditate. I don't meditate for 10, you know, for an hour. I meditate for five to seven minutes. But it's just that time where I wake up, I go pee, I go into this other room that's just my zone and I meditate all by myself. Sometimes my cute little goldendoodle come over, put a little paw on my hand, we'll meditate together.
Mandi (27:29):
And then I start my day. I recently this year started eating breakfast at the breakfast table and lunch at the lunch table. 'cause How many times are we eating in our office or at our desk? And we're not only just mindlessly shoving food in our mountain eating and not being intention intentional or conscious about like what we're eating, but we're impacting our digestion, right? Yes. So now I, this past year I started that and I'm so happy. So I sit at the table and you know, I might have my social media on or whatever, but I sit at the table and I eat my breakfast. And then when it's time for lunch, I go out and I eat lunch. And again, these aren't like hour breaks. This is like a 10 minute breakfast or a 10 minute lunch kind of thing.
Mandi (28:13):
Yeah. But just the art of sitting at a table and not doing in the office is important. And then the final thing is three deep breaths. Whenever, if I get mad about something or even overjoyed, whenever there's an extreme of anything, I just take three deep breaths and that just resets me and calms me down. And or if I'm really joyful and happy and love it every minute of it, the three deep breaths helps me like sit in that moment and celebrate. And like we said earlier, lather, I'm lathering in all the joy too. So three deep breaths is a good body reset for me too. Oh,
Erin (28:50):
I love it, Mandi. Okay. So, okay. The breakfast at the lunch and dinner or lunch and breakfast at the dinner table is huge. Huge. I love the three deep breaths. I love the R P M, which is so funny. I've never heard that acronym. So we have lots of tools.
Mandi (29:10):
I stole that from a lady named Mona and I dunno her last name, but she was a part of a coaching group that I was a part of and she shared that she does that. And so I copied off of her. That's not, that's not Amanda original.
Erin (29:21):
Okay. Well Mona, we appreciate you. 'cause It's funny. R p m r p M I feel like I do that as well, but now I'm gonna call it r p m. Sometimes it's a long pee. You just dunno. We're talking about pee a lot in this episode. Who knew? <Laugh>. Okay. So this is what I wanna ask you too. As you keep growing into this healthier version of you, have you had any growing pains along the way? Is there something that you're like, okay, woof. You know, let me pause for a minute.
Mandi (29:49):
Yeah. You know, it's so interesting that you asked that. 'cause It wouldn't have ever occurred to me that I would have growing pains. I don't know why I should think I did, but I didn't. But yeah, I have, I've had some friends that don't that just, they're not down with this style, this Mandi world. And that's okay. It's been a little painful though, right? Because you're not necessarily breaking up with friends, but you're just making a choice for yourself that you know is so much better for you. And sometimes other people aren't making those choices and that's totally fine, right? Everyone's on their own adventure, but you do see those people a little bit less and less. And there's been some circumstances where people have invited me, places where I probably would go in the past and now I'm like, I don't, I don't, I don't want to start your birthday party at 9:00 PM at night.
Mandi (30:41):
Like <laugh>. Yeah. I don't, I don't, I'd like to be in bed, you know, I know for myself, like, I gotta get eight hours of sleep. I gotta drink water. I, I know what I need for me to, you know, be the best version of myself. And it's not like going to a club at night. It's not like sitting in a really crowded, loud restaurant at nine o'clock at night. And so there have been some of those conversations where I'm like, Hey, I love you. I wanna celebrate you. Can I take you to brunch? Can we go on a walk? Can we have some tea? And you know, the friends that are down with it are like, heck yeah, let's get together. And the friends that aren't are like, I'm mad at you 'cause you're not coming to my event. And all of that is okay, you know, like I've had to kind of sit with some of those growing pains. So yeah, I mean there have been growing pains on that end, you know, when I'm becoming the person I really wanna be. Not everyone's along for the ride and that sucks, but it's what, it's,
Erin (31:37):
I love that, Mandi, that is a great fricking reminder. You're in your Mandi era, okay? This is the Mandi era <laugh>, I feel very similarly to you. And I think putting your mental health at the highest priority is going to be a mirror for others who may not. And they may have experienced a version of you that was like, let me just speak for myself. I mean, I used to party, right? Like, I, like right now, this stage in my life, I don't even really wanna drink right now. You know, like I, and I used to sit at dinners for a long time and wanna go to these crowded places as well. And I just am not in a head space to do that. And the true people who will be in your life forever will continue to love you and support you with this new version. And I'm so proud of you. That's huge. It takes a lot of growth and guts and just perseverance. So that is fantastic. Keep going because we love this version. I only know this version. I wanna be, yeah, I want tea. Let's go tot let's go to Tate
Mandi (32:43):
<Laugh>, have some tea talk.
Erin (32:44):
Let's talk about Oprah and have somet.
Mandi (32:47):
Oh God, under the tree. Let's have tea with os. Let's try it. Let's figure it
Erin (32:51):
Out. Oh my God. And stare at stuff out the window. <Laugh>. Like that's the, that is where I'm at. I am here for that. <Laugh>. Okay. For that. So I feel like we have covered so much today and I know is there anything else that you wish people knew about anxiety or perimenopause, which we didn't really get into, but just more about the anxiety piece that we, we didn't discuss?
Mandi (33:15):
No, I just think just be gentle with yourself and even if you're not diagnosed with a clinical disorder of anxiety, there, the symptoms are of anxiety are very real and just listen to your body. And then the other, only other thing about perimenopause, even though we didn't talk about it, is we have to remember 51% of the population are women and 49% of the population are not gonna go through perimenopause or menopause, but they have sisters and moms and wives and daughters that are going through it. And so it behooves all of us, even if we're not of the age, even if we're not of the gender, it behooves all of us to get comfortable talking about it, to stop whispering about it, to ask some questions about it, and really try and understand it because it's important and it's traumatic for women. And it's important to understand, at least understand. You don't have to know everything about it, but it's important to stop whispering, whispering about it and try and understand it.
Erin (34:17):
That's right. Amen. Amen. Amen. <Laugh>. Okay, so let me ask this final question. I ask every guest, if you could tell us what is we always say improve it, that it is the thing that makes you, you, it is the reason why you're here. What is Mandi's it?
Mandi (34:41):
Is it the thing I want to improve or the thing that is my it
Erin (34:46):
The thing that you are here to do? What's your purpose? What's Mandi's purpose?
Mandi (34:53):
Let's see. I just wanna, I wanna bring joy. I wanna bring joy and kindness to all experiences and work and life to my team, to my clients, to my friends, to my families, to my Paris, parasocial relationships. All the things I wanna, I wanna bring joy and experience joy and look for joy.
Erin (35:14):
Yes. And that was our intention today. And I feel like we did that even though we were talking about a hard topic, you know what I mean? Yeah, totally. So people are gonna love you. Where can they find you? Also, let's talk about that book Sales Tales, because we have an author and a bestselling author on this show. Tell us all the things. Where can people find you?
Mandi (35:36):
I am everywhere. So wherever you buy books Amazon, Barnes and Noble, anywhere. My website is mandi graziano.com. Mandi with an i, Graziano with a Z. I'm on Threads. I know I'm on, I'm a new, I'm a new Threads user, but I'm on everywhere. It's it's everything is Mandi Graziano on LinkedIn, TikTok Instagram, all the things, and then my website. So yeah, you can find me anywhere. And my book is, she's almost two years old. Oh, it's crazy. Just, she just keeps on going the gifts that keeps on giving. And
Erin (36:10):
She's teal. She's teal. So that's important for people to know. She's, she's steel, she's te she's beautiful. It's hilarious. Mandi, you're a fantastic writer. You're a fantastic guest. Thank you. You're a fantastic friend. I'm so glad for, I'm so grateful that the podcast airwaves brought us together. I'm glad I could introduce you to our peeps and I'm just here for all these conversations. Let's get tea under a tree and talk about Oprah.
Mandi (36:34):
Heck yeah, I'm down. Let's do it.
Erin (36:37):
Okay, let's do it.
Erin (36:46):
And prove that peeps. I am so thrilled that Mandi came on the show. I know that you are too. What tangible tips to take away? So, you know, I'd love to give you some homework. Here it is. I want you to take one of the methods that Mandi gave us in today's show. Whether it be taking 90 minute work intervals and 10 minute breaks, and going and staring outside, taking three deep breaths, whether it be taking two days, coming back, post from a travel trip, and giving yourself space and grace to just lay low. Take any of these tips and tricks that you heard in today's episode, and please put them into per into motion and put them into purpose, is what I was going to say for your own life. I needed to hear this today. A lot of what she said is so true to where I am at currently in my own life, and I'm gonna take my own homework and put it into motion.
Erin (37:41):
So I hope you do the same. My other ask is, if today moved you, if it inspires you, if you know that today's episode can help a friend, that you share it, you pass it on, all it takes is a copy link and then a and a paste and a text message to say, I think this could really help you. We are here to serve. We are here to make people feel less alone. And that's what today's episode is all about. So know that I'm here for you, I'm rooting for you, and I know that you can continue on this path if you keep failing and keep improving because the world needs that very special itch that only you can bring. I'll see you next week. Bye.
Erin (38:26):
Hey, friend, did you enjoy today's show? If so, head on over to iTunes to rate and subscribe. So you never miss an episode. Now, did I mention that when you leave a five star review of the Improve It Podcast, an actual team of humans does a happy dance? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. That's right. So leave a review for us on iTunes, screenshot it, and send me an email at info at learn to improve it.com. I'll send you a personalized video back as a thank you. Thanks so much for listening. Improve It Peeps. I'll see you next Wednesday.