Episode 199: When the Anxiety Hits: My Ten Step Mental Health Checklist
When s*** hits the fan, it’s hard to stop and think, “Wow I better do this meditation right now.” Taking proactive care of ourselves is not an easy feat—but it’s essential to have a bank of techniques to pull from so that you don’t have to use any brain power that you don’t have when the anxiety hits.
Erin has gone to depths of burnout and back to realize that she needed a bank to pull from.
In this episode, you’ll learn Erin’s ten-step mental health checklist that you can customize for all that you need. Here’s to proactive self-care!
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Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 199 Transcription
Erin (00:02):
Improve it peeps. I am so excited to be here with you today. I have a confession because you know, I keep it real. I have had the most challenging technology today. Today I just recorded this episode for you. On the typical platform I use Zencastr. Well, somehow it just completely disappeared into the web averse, which is the universe. The universe, and the wide worldwide web combined. That's a new word I just created, and it's hilarious because it gave me anxiety. And that's the episode we're talking about here today when anxiety hits my 10 step mental health checklist. So let me calm my own nervous system for a moment, because she's flustered. And let me start with this. I am going to share my story in today's episode. I am not a doctor. I am not a licensed therapist. So if you are somebody listening who has extreme anxiety or any type of threatening anxiety, please consult a therapist.
Erin (01:13):
Please consult a doctor or call the crisis hotline at nine eight eight. Like I said, I am not a medical professional. However, I am a spiritual being, having a human experience, and it's through this human experience that I teach. And so I have some anxiety in my life and I am going to share with you that journey and also share with you how I've recently overcome it. So let me start by just saying, I come from a generational generation after generation of high anxiety. I love you, mom. I love you, dad. There is a lot of mental health in my family, and I've not necessarily known I've had anxiety my entire life. I've think it became more apparent in my twenties than ever. As I gained more responsibility. I noticed the way I handle things is very different and that I typically react in a very fight or flight mode.
Erin (02:19):
This all came to a head for me on my, around my 40th birthday. And for whatever reason, I started to get really high anxiety. I've talked about it in the show before. I had nocturnal panic attacks. I would wake up with heart palpitations, I would then get daytime panic attacks. And I realized it came from this fear of abandonment. And I realized I had some unprocessed emotions that I really needed to deal with fluff over from the pandemic. 'cause During that time, not only were we all concerned for our health, but we were all concerned for our wellbeing, our safety. At the same time, personally, my mother had a stroke. I'm very close with my mom. She's been on the show before, and she was in the I C U for many days and we could not visit her due to c I d. And it was a very scary time.
Erin (03:21):
It was very traumatic for me. I was a new mom. My son was not even a year old, and I don't think I've actually processed those emotions. And there are certain things that really trigger those emotions for me. And I realized that I had healing in that area left to do. So that's the journey I've started on in 2023 with anxiety that came around April when I turned 40. And then in May, if you've listened to this show, you know that I got a concussion. I jumped off a 40 foot cliff in Costa Rica, would not recommend. Zero out of 10 would recommend. But I hit my head when I hit the water really hard and I didn't realize I had a concussion for a long time. Actually, I just started having issues with my vision headaches. I felt extremely overwhelmed. I just thought I was burned out.
Erin (04:15):
And then once I started to really put the symptoms together and look at the timing, it all came back to the concussion. And that is a misconception of concussions. Most people think you hit your head, you get knocked out, you, you start vomiting, and then your pupils get dilated. That's not the case for most concussions. Most concussions go undiagnosed. And then people put together the symptoms. And that was what the case was for me. So I've been dealing with A A T B I, which is a traumatic brain injury since May of 2023. This episode is coming out in the month of August. And I am focusing on my health because I really have learned so much through this process.
Erin (05:08):
I wanna just not jump outta that story really quickly because I wanna share with you some more insights into that. I had extremely dark days during that time. I was very panicky. I felt unsafe in my body. I didn't know what was happening to me. I was overwhelmed by simple tasks. Emailing seemed super arduous as a caretaker and as a leader, it was extremely hard to show up empathetically for others because it was really hard for me to show up for myself. I would cry myself to sleep. I would cry at the drop of a hat. I would feel uncomfortable on trips because I didn't feel safe in my body. I would go on work trips. I went on personal trips during this time. And every time I will locate the nearest er or I would have some type of emergency action plan because I didn't trust myself. I thought something might happen. It was a very scary time for me. Now, as I tell you all of this, I tell you all of this because every dark cloud has a silver lining. And it's up to you to find that perspective. I truly believe that this accident was not an accident.
Erin (06:26):
That it was meant to happen for me, not to me. In this time, I have really questioned a lot of my own beliefs, my own patterns, my own way of life. I spent 40 years as a people pleaser and an overachiever. And I really had to question why I did that. And I, I looked back at my life and I recognized that I moved a lot as a kid and as an adult. And my way of adapting was to get people to like me. And how did I get people to like me?
Erin (07:07):
I achieved, I worked harder than anybody. I would go the extra mile. I would give and give and give. Even if I was so tired. I would get the trophy, I would get the certificate, I would get the acknowledgement, and that would be rewarded. And so in order to feel like I was succeeding in life, I felt like I needed more accolades and more trophies. And in order to do that, I pushed my body to the point of exhaustion. I never took breaks. I would go from task to task and thing to thing, and literally sometimes not even get up during a five hour work period to pee, I would deprive myself of eight natural human bodily function because I wanted to finish that task. Because finishing a task meant there was a reward. And that reward was fulfilling to me. I was looking outside to everyone else in my life to give me the acknowledgement that if only I took a second to step back and look inward, I would find that girl is gone. I no longer need the outside validation. What I want is to feel so fulfilled internally that it shines outwardly and that outward shine impacts you. That's what I want. I don't want to have to get a like, or a comment or a thumbs up or an award to feel fulfilled anymore.
Erin (08:51):
I wanna look at my planner and my day and say, that was fulfilling because I gave to myself in order to give to others. And my friend, spoiler alert, we are launching a book in February of 2024. And this book is all about giving to yourself so you can give to others. And that giving and that energy is going to attract the people in your life tenfold. I'm gonna share the name of that book. You're gonna hear all about that book on this show because it has tips and tricks and tools that you can apply today to help you live this life, A life of joy, a life where you don't need outside validation because you have validated yourself so much internally that you feel so good that all you can do is spill that energy over to others.
Erin (09:49):
That's the world I wanna live in. Mental health is mental wealth. It starts here. I'm grateful for the therapists, the mental health professionals, the doctors of this world. But what I have learned in this experience is that healing is an inside job. You could go to 20 appointments a week, but if you don't believe in yourself and you don't believe that you can get better and you don't do the work to do that internally, it's never going to get better. Never. So my epiphany lies in this. I have 10 steps here that are gonna help you get over any type of anxiety that comes into your life. Again, these are my own steps that I have used as a human in the world to overcome this anxiety. I feel the most aligned with my purpose. And I feel like the highest version of myself. I feel like it took me 40 years to realize this because I could not live another 40 years in that way. I have stepped into the highest version of my power. And I believe in that power because I believe in myself, because I have done the work and I've got the certificate. You know who that certificate is from my inner being signed on the dotted line. She's doing the work. I don't need a Harvard graduate degree to help me feel this good.
Erin (11:31):
Now, I say this, some days are better than others, but these are the tips and the tricks that I have. You'll used, and I'm gonna share them here with you today. I would love for you to have a pen and paper to write these down 'cause they matter so much. All right, so here's number one. Sleep. I want you to examine your sleep. Now, every doctor will give you this as part of your prescription. But do we listen? Do we listen, I didn't. I slept probably an average of six and a half hours, seven hours on a good night. Most of my thirties, probably most of my twenties right now. You better believe your girl is keeping track on that Apple watch. I'm averaging like eight hours, 25 minutes a night. Some nights I get nine to 10. That's the goal. The more sleep you have, the more rest you feel, the more empowered you are to show up throughout your day. You know what affects sleep, alcohol, intake. I'm adding in a one and a half here. I didn't even have it on my list.
Erin (12:44):
Me and the booze have had a hate, a love-hate relationship for years. I love to hate it and I hate to love it, but I have really cut back on my drinking mostly because my head hurt so bad and I could not bear a hangover. But also because I wanted to feel good, I made that my goal. So now I never drink at home by myself. If I'm out to dinner, I'll have a drink, maybe two, and that's it. That's all I need. I don't feel bad the next day. I don't feel like I am sluggish. And if I do feel sluggish, I'm not mad at myself because I did that to myself. It's because of a d I that I'm recovering from. I'm gonna keep this pattern up. I don't know how long, that's where I'm at right now, but I wanted to share that with you because alcohol really does infect sleep.
Erin (13:32):
So try to really think about your alcohol intake and the amount of sleep you're getting. Hmm, okay. That was me taking a sip of water because number three, my friend, or sorry, number two, I gave you a one and then a one and a half. Number two is your water intake. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> taking a sip yet again, I talked about this on the show before, but I hate water. I don't like it. So I put things in my water to make it more palpable and exciting for me. Like right now, I have some hint water. We've had Kira Golden, the founder of Hint Water on this show before, before I just change it up. So I am excited to drink it. I got myself a gigantic Yeti cup with a a straw reusable straw that empowers me to drink it. And it's that simple. Sleep and water are what our body needs to feel our best.
Erin (14:25):
So can we give ourselves these items? Yes, we can. Do we? No, we don't. So I want you to really think about your water intake. I have really committed to drinking more water and I feel so much better. My skin looks better, by the way. So try getting more sleep and adding more water into your day to day. 'cause The goal is to calm our nervous systems. Anxiety is a spike in our blood sugar. It causes our heart to race. It causes our blood sugar to rise. It causes us to just feel different, right? Jittery. Like I'm trying to get that vibe in my body right now. My goal is to even out my nervous system. So that leads me to number three. Protein. I'm a pescatarian. I have been a pescatarian for 15 years, which means the only protein I eat is fish from the sea.
Erin (15:17):
If it's on land, I don't eat it. So I thought being a pescatarian also meant living a very plant-based lifestyle. So I fueled myself mostly with fruits and vegetables and like I'd have a piece of fish for dinner. I have since changed that and making sure that I get at least 10 to 20 grams of protein. First thing in the morning. I'll have yogurt, Greek yogurt with nuts and berries. And then about an hour and a half later, I have a pure protein bar, which has 20 grams of protein. So I get myself about 30, 31 grams of protein in the morning because it just helps you stay. Even it gets rid of those jitters. It makes you feel more clearheaded. So really pumping yourself with sugar is just adding to your anxiety. Think about it, when you put things like, what are those sweetener packets?
Erin (16:13):
Oh man, Ste. Not Stevia. The opposite of those. Splenda. When you put things that have aspartame in your coffee, when you have a high sugary carbohydrate breakfast, like a bagel or a croissant, you're just asking for jitters, my friend. So if you wanna calm the jitters, add more protein to your day. Again, I do Greek yogurt in a pure protein bar. And then at lunch I'll have some type of protein with whatever I'm eating. So if I do avocado toast, I'll add a hard boiled egg. If I'm eating a salad, I'll add some type of protein, whether it's an egg or tuna on top. Just making sure that you have this protein to keep your blood sugar stable and your nervous system calm is going to help. Number four, is this controversial caffeine. I know, I know. I love it too. I love it. I love it. I love it.
Erin (17:10):
What I really realized in my recovery is that I'm an extreme person. I do everything all in or not at all. And so for coffee, I would not just have one cup a day. I would have two very large cups, and I would fill it with creamer, almond milk, creamer. And then I put in my trivia and I didn't really need the second cup, and I thought I did. So I started doing more with less. I have more cup now and it feels good. I don't get jittery. I feel a little boop. And that's it. It's just like a little boop. And then I'm well on my way to having a calm and steady day. More coffee equals more jitters, which means your nervous system is out of whack. So again, really looking at the things in your life that are causing you to get jittery.
Erin (17:59):
Because the, if you're jittery, you're gonna get into jitter land, you're gonna do the jitter bug. Just got very jittery talking all of a sudden. And I'm doing jittery, not gibberish. Anyway, okay, number five, <laugh> breaks. Okay? I mentioned this before. I literally never took breaks. I did not get up for my desk to pee sometimes because I wanted to finish a task. 'cause Finishing a task meant that I was successful. And I lived in a world where I needed outside validation. My biggest fear was to not be validated. Okay, I'm just gonna call that out. She's getting vulnerable. That's where we're at. I now have regularly scheduled breaks in my workday, which took me 20 years into my career to actually do. I have a 20 minute break in the morning after I finish a very large task where I meditate. I have another 20 minute break in the afternoon or around around noon.
Erin (18:54):
'Cause I take a lunch break around one 30. I do a 20 minute break where I can either go for a walk, just sit outside, but I just sit. And then my third break is in the afternoon, which I am trying something new. Cold showers and or cold plunging, which I will get to in just a moment. If you do not have breaks scheduled in your calendar, I want you to encourage you after the show to go schedule them. I mean, these are breaks on top of a lunch break. I understand I'm an entrepreneur, that I make my own schedule. But let me just tell you this, you are not owned by your employer, okay? They cannot not allow you two 15 minute breaks and an hour lunch break by law. Look it up in your employee handbook. Put in the two fifteens at a minimum at an hour.
Erin (19:44):
Lunch break, bada bang bada boom. There's your breaks. You deserve them. Get up. Go for a walk. If you're in the office, get outside for a minute. Go buy a pack of gum at the store. But don't talk to anybody. Give yourself a break. You deserve it. Or you will break my friend. Now, I really was leaning into this third break I was mentioning to you about the cold plunges in the showers. 'cause That leads me to number six. Find something cold when you're feeling anxious. So this could mean putting your hand in a bag of ice or in a freezer. It could mean getting one of those fancy little face I roller things with the ice on it that all the influencers use on the grammy gram. Okay? Or it could mean going as far as taking a cold shower or jumping into a cold plunge.
Erin (20:31):
<Laugh>. That's the extreme version, like I said, all in or all out. And I'm trying the th the the most extreme here. My husband John and I are really thinking about getting one of the cheapest, cheapest coal plunges. 'cause They can be very expensive putting it in our garage and seeing how much we use it. I've been experimenting with cold showers at three o'clock, I'll take a five minute cold shower. It's just like not that cold. That's just how I feel. It's okay, just like, oh, I'm getting my body wet and I'm kind of being cold. I think a cold plunge is where it's at. And or putting your hand in a bag of ice or an ice roller thing. 'cause What it does is it resets your nervous system. It resets you. It gets you in the moment when you're like, I'm so cold. I'm so cold. And fight or flight. But then you calm yourself down and that calming is regenerative for your neuro pathways. And it just helps you feel more stable, which is what we're going for. Stability. Stability. Number seven. This one's important.
Erin (21:32):
Find joy in every day. Now this sounds like live love, laugh, right, right? That's what you're thinking. Okay, Aaron, find joy. No, I'm serious. This has changed everything for me because we can look at things in our lives like a family dinner or going for a walk with my family. It's just something that you do after work. But when you label them intentionally as joyful, you start to look at them differently. So I now have a post-it on my mirror every morning the night before I write what the joyful things are I'm going to do that day. They're simple things. Going to dinner with my family, sitting outside in our patio and having a meal, going for a walk after work, talking to a good friend, uploading stories on Instagram. Like it can be very simple things, but if you label them as joyful because they bring you joy, they will bring you joy.
Erin (22:26):
And the opposite of fear and anxiety is love and joy, my friend. So the more that you can bring that into your life, the more you're going to feel joyful. Simple. Sounds like live, love, laugh, but I tell you, put that on a bumper sticker, and I swear to you, the world would be a better place. All right, number eight, self-care commitment. Commit one day or one hour of your week, one simple hour to self-care. It could be something that is a high ticket item like therapy coaching, craniosacral therapy, which I just got into. It's amazing massage. Or it could be a low ticket item, like a walk in nature, a walk at the beach, a walk or a hike. It could be something simple as sitting in a bubble bath. It can be free, but it is time that you are committing to yourself to self-care.
Erin (23:27):
I'm telling you that makes a huge difference because when you give to yourself first, you can give to others. Number nine, I say it so much on this show, but really being clear with yourself on your boundaries. Is it a hell yes? You go, if it's a hell no, you don't. Don't. If it's a hell, maybe you don't go. It's still a no. Simple, simple, do I really wanna do this? Maybe that's a no. Do I wanna do this? Oh yes, I wanna do this, do it. And number 10, say it like it's a broken record. But movement, movement, movement, movement. 10 to 30 minutes of movement a day has the ability to change our bodies since our brain's endorphins. Those endorphins make people happy. Happy people don't kill their husbands. That's a quote from legally blonde. What I'm saying is, moving your body is going to change the way you feel.
Erin (24:27):
And anxiety is a feeling. So when you can change your body by moving it, you can change the way that you feel. Now our bodies feel this anxiety. I gave you these 10, these 10 checklist items. But at the root of it, we feel anxiety because we do not feel safe. Something is causing us to feel like we should run. It's the reason fight or flight mode exists, right? Back in the old days, if a bear came to, you know, a caveman, the bear got scared and they ran. When you live in that fight or flight mode and you feel like you're constantly getting chased by a bear, your nervous system cannot repair itself. It cannot regenerate itself, and it just feels constantly afraid.
Erin (25:19):
When you feel anxiety, I want you to go through this list. You can go through all 10, or you could just start with number one. And you could start one week by just getting more sleep. And once your sleep pattern is getting better, go to week two and check your water intake. And now you're on week three and you're like, okay, I'm doing great with the sleep and water. Let me add in some protein. And then you get to week four and you're like, I don't need this second cup of coffee. And by week six, you've added breaks into your calendar. And week seven, maybe one of those breaks is a cold shower or a cold plunge. And by week eight, you're adding joyful things to your life and noticing if you don't have anything joyful in your day in week nine, you're committing to one thing a week of self-care.
Erin (26:07):
Week 10, you're like, I'm staying strong on my boundaries this week. And week 11, you are starting to exercise regularly, whether it be a walk for 30 minutes, yoga, stretching, you're just moving your body. You can build over time. So that would be my suggestion to take one of these, feel accomplished with that one thing, and then add another. Don't go all in at all at once and try to do them all. 'cause That never works. Start with one. Now I wanna say this. If medication is needed, I want you to take it. There's a lot of stigma in mental health around medication, anti-anxiety, antidepressants. And I equate it to this. Somehow. Some doctor decided one day they were gonna make contacts to help people see, without those contacts, I would have a pair of glasses on my eyeballs talking to you right now because I have those contacts, they have blue light in those contacts. And I'm able to look at this computer screen with my concussion with ease. Thank you. Technology and science, thank you technology and science for giving us this gift of medication to help us if we really need it. I'm gonna keep it 100% real. I had to go on medication from my neurologist through this concussion to help me heal.
Erin (27:37):
I would have been a pile of poop without it. I needed the medication. It's an anti-pain, inflammatory medication. It also has antidepressant in it. But I take a very low dose, and I'm keeping that real with y'all because I want anyone listening to this who feels like, oh, the stigma to cite, shove it. Shove it. Medication is a blessing given to us on this earth. And if you need it, take it. All right? It can help you cope, but it's not gonna be the only thing. You need to take these other 10 items and apply them to your life in whatever way serves you. They're what served me. Now, here's an extra credit for you. I want you to make a list. I love a posted moment. Make a list of the people in your life who support you. And it can be family, but it can also be health related.
Erin (28:34):
So for me, this was so helpful in my recovery, I have my bathroom mirror filled with post-its. And I made a list of one mental health professionals that I know and trust and have on my, on my roster, a list of my general health professionals. So my general practitioner, I've my brother-in-law's, a doctor, luckily I have many friends who are doctors I can reach out to. I made a list of spiritual support that I have, which includes my reiki master. I'm just gonna say all the things. It also includes my intuitive coach, Michael Frontier, who's been on this show. It includes Gabby Bernstein, which is a digital coach for me. It includes my own spiritual practice, it includes craniosacral therapy, which also kind of falls in the body. So I also made a list of body professionals that can help me massage, craniosacral therapy, chiropractic. And then I made a list of eye doctors because I was having issues with my vision. And it just reminds me every single morning when I look in the mirror that I am supported and I'm guided. I have literally like 30 people between all these lists who I could reach out to for help. So if I don't feel safe, let me go to one of these people.
Erin (30:01):
This episode's getting real long, but it's so important. Let me just share one, one final thing. I started doing craniosacral therapy recently, and I think I should do an entire episode on it because it's just a beautiful, beautiful practice. It's not something that most insurance covers. So it is a high ticket item. It's this place I go to is about one 50 per session. It really helped me to get back in my body and feel safe. I'm gonna leave y'all with a cliffhanger on that one. 'cause That's a whole story. And this episode is way too long. But let's just say I've been twice and the results have been profound. Let me know if you would like an episode about craniosacral therapy. I'd love to get my therapist actually on this show because it's transformative work and it's mind and body connection. So if that's an interest of you, I would love to share my experience and bring on my amazing new craniosacral therapist.
Erin (31:05):
Send me a DMM at it's Aaron deal or on LinkedIn, or you can write an email at info at learn to improve it.com. So, okay, y'all, this has been a long one, but I feel we finally got everything out that needed to be said. I hope it serves you. That is my hope. And honestly, my prayer is that you walk away from this episode with more tools in your toolkit to help you. And if you are feeling lost or if you are feeling unsafe, I want you to know that you're not alone, okay? I want you to know that there are so many people that have been in your situation, myself included, and who have come out the other side. You will get through it, and you're gonna come out of it in a beautiful, beautiful fashion. You're, you're coming in that cocoon right now.
Erin (31:57):
You're that caterpillar, and you will come out the butterfly. And I promise you that there is a lesson in this for you to learn. But what I gave you today are the tips and the tricks that you can take with you on that journey to help guide you through it. We have to go through these failures and these times that feels like failures in order to grow. And that's what you're doing. You're growing. I'm looking at my microphone right now, like you're here, like I'm talking to you. So you are here and I'm here with you. And I just want you to know that you are not alone. Here's my last ask. If today inspired you, if you think this episode could help somebody, please share it on your Instagram stories or share it with a friend who needs it. I will be forever grateful to bring more people into this community.
Erin (32:44):
It is such a beautiful community. I love hearing from you. So please, if this impacted you in any way, send it to someone or let me know what you want more of. I'm here for this work. This is only the beginning. I will promise you that I will continue to heal and grow and teach you along the way. We'll do it together and prove it. Peeps. I love you. And you know what I'm gonna say? Keep failing. Keep improving because this world needs that special. It that only you, yes, you can break. See you next time.