Episode 218: Craving Routine? Habits that You'll Actually Stick to? (Pssssst, It’s Just 4 Easy Steps)
Consistency can be quite the buzzword these days. We hear it all the time—whether it comes to our personal routines, work habits, or relationships. In reality, there’s more to consistency than just talking about it.
In today’s episode, Erin gives you the top four reasons why we lack consistency and the four solutions to creating a routine that works for you—that you’ll actually keep.
If you're looking for the cure to sticking to what you say you’re going to do—this is the episode for you.
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Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
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Episode 218 Transcription
Erin Diehl (00:00.342)
Hello, my friends and welcome to a new episode of the Improve It podcast. I'm Erin Diehl. I am your host and I'm paper. I'm a founder. I'm founder of the professional development company, improve it. I am an improv comedy expert and a top 1% podcast host. Okay. I'm also a new author and a keynote speaker. I speak to audiences all over the world.
On solo, if you take away the paper, here's who I am to the core. I'm a leader, I'm a healer, I'm a mom, I'm a recovering perfectionist turned Phil Fluencer, and I'm a teacher, and I'm here to teach you today. If you press play on today's show, you are here for a reason. I always believe that, that episodes find you. So welcome if you're new, if you're a member of the Improve It! P.A.
I'm so happy that you are back. I love that you come back here week after week. I love talking with you. I love hearing from you. So I am so jazzed for today's show, but I want to start really quick with talking about last week's episode with a la Hunkin's. If you've not listened to it, please check it out. Hit save on your iTunes or your Spotify now and come back to it.
It's all about cracking the leadership code and whether you are a leader of a team, whether you are a leader of your community, whether you are a leader of an organization or whether you lead a family, it is here to help. So all month long, I'm talking in my solo shows about selfless leadership. We have awesome guests coming on the show to talk about leadership and selfless leadership at that.
And I'm so thrilled to talk with you today because today I am talking about one of my favorite things, routine. And now this wasn't always the case, I'll share a story with you about that in just a moment. But if you are somebody who struggles with setting a consistent routine, and I have done polls on LinkedIn, I have done polls on my Instagram, and all of y'all say that is one of the
Erin Diehl (02:18.966)
biggest challenges that you face is keeping a consistent routine. Today, I'm gonna give you four easy, easy steps that you can implement to help you become the selfless leader that you were meant to be. So as I mentioned, I was not always a routine person. I am an improviser, right? So a lot of people think routine, improviser, that doesn't go hand in hand. You should fly by the seat of your pants. And listen.
I can do that on stage. I can't do that on the stage of life. It's just too crazy. There's too much that needs to happen on a day to day basis and a routine is what keeps me going and functioning and even sitting here and talking with you today. So as I said, I'm an author, I'm a new author. I have a book coming out in February of 2024. You can pre-order it now.
It's called, I See You, a Leader's Guide to Energizing Your Team Through Radical Empathy. I poured my heart and soul into this book. I'm so thrilled to share it. It's also very vulnerable. And so to help me overcome vulnerability and to help you understand where I was when it came to my own routine in my early years of leading teams, I wanna share a story with you. It's from a chapter called
a whole latte of anger. It's chapter three in the book. And this passage is called Expresso Yourself. So earlier in the book, I talk about a character called Upset Me. It's basically the version of me who has no routine. So I say in this passage, as I mentioned earlier, upset me was a part of my life for 33 years.
This was a pattern I developed in high school that so graciously came with me through college and then into my professional life. Mornings were my absolute least favorite time of the day. Now, while working at the recruiting firm in downtown Chicago, I loathed getting out of bed, commuting to work on a crowded bus and getting into my office building by 8.30 in the morning.
Erin Diehl (04:30.606)
To reward myself for this 30 minute trek through the city of Chicago, I would buy myself a Starbucks coffee every single morning. Now, it doesn't take a mathematician to realize that this was an investment, not only from my bank account, but in my time. The lines at Starbucks are never short and they are always filled with people sleepily salivating for their morning cup of joe.
I would race from the bus or train station to the Starbucks at the bottom of my office building every Monday through Friday. Because upset me, never woke up with her alarm, I was always running late, which meant the Starbucks line would make me even later. I would stand in line, impatiently waiting my turn to tell my favorite barista, a grande latte with almond milk and hazelnut, please. And yes, I understand how basic this sounds.
Every person ahead of me that took longer than I thought they should placing their order would receive a sigh or an unpleasant shift in my body language. However, as soon as the barista called my name, I grabbed that beautiful white cup with the name A-RUN. Its errand spelled like a guy, scribbled on the back in permanent marker with pride.
As soon as that first sip of burnt beans hit my lips, I would feel like I'd won the lottery. I had defeated the morning rush again, successfully hit the coffee bean jackpot, and now it was time to get to work. One morning, I happened to have a meeting with one of my favorite clients around 10 o'clock. I headed in the meeting, trying my best to let go of upset me, and turned up the charm. As I walked in, my client, Jessie, glanced up from her desk and gave me a sly eye.
Well, I've seen you turn your morning around, she said. I paused for a minute, stunned. Was I being punked? Where's Ashton? What do you mean, I asked. Jessie went on to say, I saw you in line at Starbucks this morning in your building. I've seen you there a couple of times, but never wanna say hello because you look so angry. I got whiplash as I gracefully picked my chin back up from the floor.
Erin Diehl (06:40.586)
I could not believe she saw me that way. I could not believe she had seen me this way multiple times. I thought the anger was only in my head. Was I showing it outwardly? How did she know how pissed I was that I had to stand at the armpit of a stranger for 20 minutes on the train and then walk in a jacket that resembles a down comforter through the frigid streets of Chicago to get to my office?
Was she still wanna work with me? How do I explain this? Does she have a paper bag that I could put over my head to walk out the door and never return? To get past this awkward moment, I lied. Oh, I said, I had just gotten some frustrating news this morning. I didn't realize I was giving off those vibes. I quickly changed the topic to work, but the back of my mind kept spinning. Her comments sat with me that entire day and the next and the next. I was angry in the mornings.
I didn't have a reason and I didn't know any other way than this pattern I created for myself. Even after hearing the shocking revelation, I did nothing to break the pattern. As I turned from an employee at the recruiting firm to a business owner, I would keep this pattern and emerge into our tiny, lower level, not to be confused with a basement office in downtown Chicago.
with my shirt stained under the arms, sweat dripping down my forehead, and a full cup of coffee ready to be consumed to change me into the leader that I knew I could be after nine o'clock. My team could feel the stress radiating from my pores as I entered the office and knew that I wasn't gonna be my best until an hour or so after arriving. Finally, a team member said to me, "'I don't know if you need to feel stressed "'in the mornings in order to feel productive, "'but I'm worried about you.'"
That comment was the catalyst for change. That comment sent right next to Jessie's about me grumbling at Starbucks and it created an ever-growing tower of shame and dislike towards my mourning self. Something had to change and it had to change quickly. I wanted to read this story to you, my beautiful improve-it peeps, as it is honestly just sums up.
Erin Diehl (08:54.766)
I had zero consistency. I had zero routine and it showed not only to myself but outwardly to others. I needed something that would fuel me that would help me stay consistent and would help me pour into my cup first so that I could pour into others. So it dawned on me. I had an epiphany.
I'm gonna read that to you from the same chapter, A Whole Lot of Latte, and this excerpt is called, Pour into Your Cup First. During this time in my career, I was also struggling in my personal life. My husband and I were going through a long battle with infertility. We so desperately wanted to become parents, and then tried almost everything to have a miracle baby. We went through three rounds of IVF treatments with no luck. Looking back, I know that it was my internal state of being that was blocking our path.
The womb cannot be shaky and grow life. The womb cannot be a stressful environment and create. The same is true for any creative endeavor. You must be in a peaceful and calm mental state to produce your best, most creative work. Because of the comments, because of the infertility and the struggles we were having, I knew that I had to change the way I started my day. I started to focus on filling my own cup first in the morning so I could pour into others.
I started putting time, effort, and energy into my own mental state so that I could show up with less stress to create a more productive and purposeful work environment. I began exercising in the mornings instead of after work when I was so tired and depleted. I very slowly started a meditation practice. What began as five minutes of guided meditation spread to 10 minutes, then 15.
I set off on a spiritual journey and started to learn how to connect with my own inner guidance. My cup had to be filled with endorphins. I needed to feel a deep sense of inner wisdom before I could be and do everything for everyone else. Essentially, I learned how to mother and lead myself before I could mother or lead someone else. This was a lesson that I needed to learn and I needed to learn the hard way.
Erin Diehl (11:14.446)
The universe would not give me the gift of being a mother until I took care of myself. After three years of infertility, many a science experiment, and three years of creating shifts in the way I started my day, we welcomed a miracle baby boy in July of 2019. My morning practice changed my life and helped in the creation of another one. I know it can change yours too.
I'll let you in on a secret. If you apply these fundamentals to your life of taking care of yourself first, you will change the way you see the world and the way the world sees you. It all starts with filling your own cup first.
So if you resonated with Upset Me and you are seeking consistency and you don't know where to start, if you are seeking a routine but don't have accountability, if you are seeking a way to get to your higher self and you have no clue how to get there, I've got four easy steps for you. Here's the best news, my improvement peeps. This is all downloadable.
You do not have to take notes in this episode. We have a freebie for you, and it is called the Four Step Consistency Planner. It is an absolute beautiful document that literally you go click in the show notes to get to this link. It'll take you right there. You can download it to your phone, to your laptop. And there's also, you make a copy of it because it's a Google Doc. We wanted it to be a Google Doc, so you could access this on your phone and you could write.
in it from your phone. It's not a fillable PDF. It's something that you can use, implement, and take right away. So I'm going to walk you through this four-step consistency planner. Make sure you go to the link in the show notes if you want to get your own, because I am going to guide you through this consistency planner step by step because it really is so easy to do this. So here is step
Erin Diehl (13:22.734)
One, if you want a more consistent week, you are going to identify your one word intention for the week. So here's the main problem with keeping a consistent routine. Okay, here's number one. You're rooted in what works for others, not what works for you. Now,
You know this all too well, you're scrolling through reels on Instagram and you see a wellness influencer go into hot yoga and then making a charcoal smoothie to start her morning. You think, maybe I should do that. I'll get on the charcoal train. You're running an errand during your lunch break and you see someone sitting on a park bench journaling. Ugh, I need to get back into that. You're watching TV before bed and see a commercial about the benefits of meditation for at least 30 minutes before you go to sleep.
I should probably make more time, you think, but instead of pressuring yourself into the habits that you see that work for those around you, you're going to get crystal clear on what YOU need to work for you. Now, for example, if your main intention this week is creativity, you may not need an hour of hot yoga in the morning and a charcoal smoothie, but you might need a walk to get your creativity flowing and a waffle.
because carbs equal brain fuel. So you are going to create this action step. You are going to ask plus intend in order to root yourself and what's going to work for you this week. You're gonna spend some time asking yourself these questions. If I woke up tomorrow and I was 10 years older than I am now, what would I want to see myself doing?
What do I want to get out of this week? How do I want to show up for myself and for others? If I only accomplish one thing this week, what will it be and how will I want to do it? What is a mindset shift that I can make that will inform my actions this week?
Erin Diehl (15:37.038)
And based on what didn't work last week, what do I want to change about my attitude this week? So this is all in step one about setting your intention. And again, this is in a PDF. Nope, not a PDF, a Google Doc. My team created this. Nicole, I'm giving you so much love because it's so beautiful.
You can literally get this to your phone and answer those questions to your phone. If you wanna pause the episode, go in the show notes, download it and have it up to your phone as we go through the rest of this consistency planner, I would recommend doing that. So once you've done some reflecting in step one, you're gonna choose a one word intention that will guide your routine this week. Now your one word intention.
will serve as your route no more, spending your time doing what works for the person you saw on Instagram. It's time to do what works for you. And we've given you some lists of words for ways of being and intentions for taking action that you can choose from or you can make up your own word. And you have a space in the planner to write your intention for the week. Step two.
Now you have to clarify how are you going to bring your intention into everything that you do? Because here's the main problem with keeping a consistent routine, the number two problem. You try to do too much, so you don't do it at all. And let's be real here, most of us are working 40-hour weeks, we're trying to take care of our bodies, maintaining a social life, and the amount of time that we have that's not spent working or sleeping is limited.
which means don't do too much, do what works. You're gonna use this formula as your guide whenever you want to switch up your routine. So if this is the habits based on your one word intention, press the practicality of that equals a routine you won't quit. So here's what you're going to do in step two. You're going to use.
Erin Diehl (17:47.726)
an example that I'm gonna give you as a guide, but then you're gonna complete a three-column chart with habits that coincide with your intention for the week and reasonably fit into the flow of your day. So let's say in step one that your one-word intention was creativity. We have in the planner a spot for you to put your habits for the morning, your habits for the afternoon, and your habits for the evening. So...
Keeping the idea of creativity in mind, let's say in the morning, your habit number one is you are going to meditate for 10 minutes. Then you're gonna create a second habit, taking a 20 minute walk to boost creativity. And habit three is you're gonna make breakfast and coffee to fuel creative work. And then with that same intention, your afternoon habit is you're gonna stand up from your desk to stretch for five minutes. And your second habit is you're going to listen to a podcast during your lunch break.
to inspire creative ideas. And then evening, habit one is you're gonna charge your phone in a separate room, which I highly recommend. Your second habit with the intention of being more creative is you're gonna read 30 minutes before bed. And your third habit is you're gonna journal any thoughts that come up to use for tomorrow. If you want more creativity in your life, you can literally use these habits as your guide. So you're adding.
your intention into putting it into practical action. And on the four step consistency planner, we have given you a fillable grid to fill in your habits for the morning, afternoon and evening. This gets us to step three. How are you gonna adapt when life happens? So here's the main problem with keeping a consistent routine, number three, life gets in...
The way. If you get sick, you run late, or you just don't have enough energy, when life gets in the way, the last thing you have on your mind is sticking to your routine. Now entering the scene, my friends, is something we're gonna call the 10-minute pact, or the 10MP for short. Your 10-minute pact is a miniature version of your routine for you to do in the evening if the day went somewhere you didn't plan for it to go.
Erin Diehl (20:11.726)
Now having this 10 minute pact in place will help you stick to a consistent routine on the days when you normally wouldn't, and it will help you stay rooted in your one word intention. Doing something is better than doing nothing always. So let's use our example that we've had as a guide and then create a 10 minute pact. So again, if our step one intention is creativity,
And in step two, we have listed all of the habits that we're going to do with that intention in mind for our morning, afternoon, and evening. Our 10 minute pact is to spend five minutes each evening meditating and journaling. So five minutes of meditating and five minutes of journaling. If we do nothing in the morning, nothing in the afternoon, and we only do five minutes of journaling at night and five minutes of meditating at night.
That's 10 minutes that we have committed to ourselves and keeps us in alignment with our consistency. Now, step four. Let's say you don't even need the 10 minute pact, okay? Like let's say six days of the week, you're crushing your habits, you've got your intention, and then let's say one night you have to do your 10 minute pact just because life gets in the way. Step four.
How are you going to give yourself the credit that you deserve? And here's the other problem with keeping a consistent routine. You don't give yourself the credit you deserve when credit is due. So whether we want to admit it or not, it's a deep truth. We are human beings, and human beings need recognition. Growing out of the gold star is a myth. I give my child gold stars on his chore chart.
Why don't I give those to myself? So what do we do? We give ourselves the dang gold stars. They make us feel seen and they keep us motivated to keep us stepping it up. So here is your action step. You're gonna use the consistency tracker to give yourself the credit and the love that you deserve. You'll start with step one, you'll fill in your one word intention, you'll fill in step two, your habits, and then step three, you'll add in your 10 minute pact, and then you can decide
Erin Diehl (22:34.606)
You can copy and paste from what you decided in step two and three below, because we have that here for you listed into the consistency planner. At the end of the week, well, first you're, sorry, I'm skipping ahead, y'all. Next, you're gonna decide on three different rewards you'll give yourself for sticking to your routine. Make reward A something good, like the bag you've had your eyes on or a nice bottle of wine.
Make reward B as something in the middle, like taking yourself to get a pedicure or ordering your favorite takeout. And make reward C something that helps you rest so you can come out stronger next week, like an hour long nap on the weekend or a lavender pillow mist. At the end of the week, you're gonna total up your check boxes to give yourself a reward. Now this is the most important part. Don't forget it, okay?
Here's how it works. You're gonna go to the last page here in our consistency planner, the two last pages. You're gonna make a checkbox next to every habit that you kept throughout the week. And literally, you can rinse and repeat this. You can do it week after week from your phone or from your computer because it is a fillable Google document, okay? Or you can just make another copy of it and do it every single week. So put a checkbox.
Y'all, can I use words? Put a check mark next to the box for the habit that you completed. And if you have 25 to 36 checks, you're getting reward A. You're getting the bag, you're getting the wine. Treat yourself, okay? If you got 15 to 24 checks, you're getting reward B. So you're getting the pedicure. You're doing something nice for you. It's not like the Cadillac of nice things, but you're doing something.
And reward C, if you have one to 14 check marks, you're still gonna celebrate. Get yourself a lavender scented pillow mist or take a fricking nap. Reward yourself for trying. So you are going to get this PDF again at the link in the show notes. I promise you, it is going to serve you. And I'm so proud of my team for putting this together because we heard from so many people.
Erin Diehl (24:54.478)
that you struggled with taking action and being consistent with that. And it's time my friends to stop that narrative and time to start believing in yourself. I can't even say words today. It is time to start believing in yourself. The words we say to ourselves matter, the promises we keep to ourselves matter. So.
The four step consistency planner is here to help. It is yours. It is absolutely free download and start implementing today. It has changed my life. As you heard about in this book, I see you a leader's guide to energizing your team, the radical empathy. Truly a consistent routine changed everything for me. Everything. So here's your homework.
Listen to last week's episode with LaHunckens, and if today's episode moves you, I want you to share it. Share it on your story, share it on your LinkedIn. Get that consistency planner on in the show notes. And if you want to pre-order ICU, that would be awesome too, that is in the link. Every pre-order helps. And I know that the message in this book has the power to serve so many leaders and so many teams.
So my ask to you is this, start serving yourself so you can be the selfless leader that you were meant to be led by. So step one, listen to last week's episode. Step two, get your consistency planner. Step three, share this episode. And step four, pre-order the book. Those are your four steps from this four-step episode. There's so many steps, but really there's just four to helping you keep a more consistent routine.
to help you show up the way that you want to. I am so honored to serve you. I'm so honored to be your teacher. I'm so excited to be your guide, and I can't wait to keep continuing this content. We have so much more goodness in store for you week after week, and you know what I'm gonna say. Keep failing, keep improving, because this world needs that very special it that only you can break. We'll see you next time.