Episode 244: What Leadership Lessons Can You Learn from Parenting a Strong-Willed Child? A Conversation with My Dad
What does planning your week around a McDonald’s lunch date with your daughter have to do with top leadership qualities?
More than you think. And Erin’s dad, Fred Holbrook, is here to tell the tale.
Fred worked in accounting, operations management, and owned his own appliance services business. He’s now retired—but does consulting on the side—and loves being a grandpa.
Erin and Fred discuss:
How being the parent of a strong-willed child (Erin, lol) helped him become a better leader
How to balance being a leader and a parent
Why negative feedback is just as essential as positive feedback & how to give it gracefully
Fred shares the top three leadership lessons he’s learned from parenting a strong-willed child and how you can apply them today.
If you’re a working parent or you know a working parent – this is the episode for you.
Special sprinkles on top of this episode:
Erin’s not-so-hot grades freshman year of college
What it means to set parameters for your team
Does parenting have anything to do with leadership?
Parents are the first people children interact with, which is why they play such an important role in the development of an individual's leadership skills. For many of my clients, if they're facing a particular challenge when it comes to leadership, I can trace it back to a parenting style they experienced as a kid.
-Christine Laperriere
What leaders can learn from kids?
If you observe kids closely, you will notice that they can teach us a lot about leadership.
Thirst for knowledge.
Every day is a new one.
Being creative and innovative.
Collaboration.
Persistence but with adaptability and resilience.
Get moving.
-plopdo.com
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Connect with Fred Holbrook:
Email info@learntoimproveit.com and Erin will get you in touch with him!
Connect with Erin Diehl:
Erin Diehl is the founder and Chief “Yes, And” officer of improve it! and host of the improve it! Podcast. She’s a performer, facilitator and professional risk-taker who lives by the mantra, “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.” Through a series of unrelated dares, Erin has created improve it!, a unique professional development company that pushes others to laugh, learn and grow. Her work with clients such as United Airlines, PepsiCo, Groupon, Deloitte, Motorola, Walgreens, and The Obama Foundation earned her the 2014 Chicago RedEye Big Idea Award and has nominated her for the 2015-2019 Chicago Innovations Award.
This graduate from Clemson University is a former experiential marketing and recruiting professional as well as a veteran improviser from the top improvisational training programs in Chicago, including The Second City, i.O. Theater, and The Annoyance Theatre.
When she is not playing pretend or facilitating, she enjoys running and beach dates with her husband and son, and their eight-pound toy poodle, BIGG Diehl.
You can follow the failed it! podcast on Instagram @learntoimproveit and facebook, and you can follow Erin personally on Instagram @keepinitrealdiehl here. You can also check out improve it! and how we can help your organization at www.learntoimproveit.com. We can’t wait to connect with you online!
Episode 244 Transcription
Erin Diehl (00:01.265)
Hello, Improvapeeps! I am so excited. Today, we have the one, the only, Fred Holbrook, aka, my dad, on the show! Welcome, Dad!
Fred (00:18.082)
Glad to be here, Air.
Erin Diehl (00:19.921)
Well, this is just going to be special because all the improve it peeps are going to know where it came from. And if they haven't seen you on Instagram, now they've seen you on the podcast or heard you.
Fred (00:35.586)
That's scary. That's going to be scary, okay.
Erin Diehl (00:38.129)
It is scary. Okay, so you're on the show. Our theme for this month, the month of June, is becoming. So I always ask every guest to set an intention for you and our listeners today. What is one word that you want to give or receive out of this conversation today?
Erin Diehl (01:06.993)
No, the other guest on the show guessed you.
Fred (01:08.802)
Okay, okay, okay, okay. I think I want to relate how becoming a parent is to relay how becoming a parent of a very strong willed child helped me become a whole lot better leader.
Erin Diehl (01:17.905)
What's your intention?
Erin Diehl (01:28.401)
wow! Okay, you've never said those words to me out loud before, so I'm excited. Okay, what does the word becoming mean to you?
Fred (01:32.482)
I know.
Fred (01:39.426)
transitioning, you're not there yet. You're a little bit better than you were yesterday, but you're not all the way there yet.
Erin Diehl (01:42.065)
Okay.
Erin Diehl (01:48.433)
So you and mom, and as I was planning the show, I was thinking about how you and mom have really allowed me to become every version of myself possible. So why was allowing me to become who I was supposed to be important to you and mom?
Fred (02:12.162)
what we wanted to see you blossom, wanted you to be the best you could be and what you wanted to be, you wanted to be Oprah. And you are, you're not exactly Oprah, but you're the next best thing. So you're doing podcasts. Yeah. Yeah. So.
Erin Diehl (02:19.377)
I think.
Erin Diehl (02:26.993)
yeah.
Thank you. But I will say, you and mom, like when I told you I wanted to be Oprah, you never said no. You said...
Fred (02:39.97)
We didn't flinch. Well, if anybody could do it, you would.
Erin Diehl (02:44.049)
Wow, see, this is parenting. Okay, so let's start with the challenges. What was one of the biggest challenges that you had or you faced with parenting me and how did you handle it?
Fred (03:01.698)
You were very, very hard headed. You would not take no for an answer, okay? We had to learn to negotiate with you, which some of your grandparents didn't agree with too much, but we learned to negotiate with you. And then you could reach a hard no at some point. If you wanted to do some...
stupid things, we wouldn't negotiate with you with that. Some things were non -negotiable, but for the most part we negotiated a win -win for both of us. So we would allow you to do things and yet set parameters 42.
Erin Diehl (03:45.585)
Okay, and I want to talk about our John and I's wedding, okay, because at the wedding, you gave a speech to the attendees, all of our friends and family, and you mentioned this book, The Strong -Willed Child. Tell the Improvet Peeps what that means and what the book is about and how it relates.
Fred (04:12.386)
Well, your mom bought the book. She was very frustrated in raising you when you were younger. And so she bought a book. It's by Dr. James Dobson called The Strong Will Child. So we both read it. And that's, you know, that's where some of the ideas came with sort of negotiating with you. But I always said, if you looked up, if you Googled Strong Will Child, Aaron's face would show up. That's what I said at the wedding. So.
Erin Diehl (04:18.161)
Ha ha ha.
Erin Diehl (04:40.721)
Well, okay, and what, so if somebody is listening today and they are wondering, am I a parent of a strong -willed child? What would some of the characteristics be of a strong -willed child?
Fred (04:54.562)
don't take no very well. That's a positive and a negative of you. It's got you where you are. Like I said, if anybody would ever become Oprah, you would. Because you're determined. That's one thing. You're very determined. And nobody's going to stop you from achieving your goals. That is a very positive thing. The negatives are you need to channel all that energy in the right direction all the time. OK?
Erin Diehl (05:22.097)
Yep.
Fred (05:22.114)
Especially when you're younger, you could get yourself in some trouble if we didn't probably set some parameters for you.
Erin Diehl (05:30.257)
Well, I never did that, luckily. Yeah, we won't, we won't, that's a whole other episode. Holler if you want that one. That could go under my biggest fails. But I will say that, I mean, I guess I never realized I was a strong -willed child until you said that at our wedding. And then until I had...
Fred (05:32.546)
No, no, no, no, no. We won't go into that, okay.
Erin Diehl (05:58.033)
Jackson. Until I became the parent of one. Yes, I know. And I see that. It's like watching myself in a mirror sometimes. And there's so many parts of John in there too, but like, he definitely has those characteristics. And he is, he's also super empathetic, which I feel like I'm, I'm an empathetic person, but I feel like he has more empathy and.
Fred (05:58.882)
You have one. Okay.
Apple falls not far from the tree here, girl, so.
Fred (06:22.274)
You are, you are, you always have been.
Erin Diehl (06:28.305)
than I do even, but I also see his determination and his will to succeed and his competitiveness. It's funny, cause like if him, John and I are playing a board game together, it's like, and you'd know when we've all played Candyland, like we're all like so competitive and it's Candyland, you know? So I know he's mad. Well, okay. I want you to think about a specific moment.
Fred (06:48.258)
He won't play me anymore. I beat him. He won't play me anymore. Yeah.
Erin Diehl (06:58.737)
when my strong will might've surprised you or impressed you even. Because what I'm wanting is there's so many parents who listen to this show who are trying to parent and lead a family and then they're also trying to lead teams. And so you can take this parenting advice that we're talking about here today and you can apply it to leading your team. But is there anything that comes to mind that surprised you or impressed you?
Fred (07:28.642)
I was trying to think of something when you were small, but I really think when you chose a college, I mean, I already had you all packaged. We were living in Michigan, had you all packaged to go to Michigan State. You decided you wanted to go to Clemson. And I didn't want you to go that far away from home, even though it would have, you know, that's where I went to school. But you convinced me that you would be okay. And that took a lot of trust on our part to let you go there.
Erin Diehl (07:28.721)
Thank you.
Fred (07:58.754)
But I think it worked, again, it's a matter of trust and you build trust between the leader and the employee and also the parent and the child.
Erin Diehl (08:09.649)
Yeah. Well, and get, okay, so I want to talk about this and I want to come back to the leader and the child for a moment so people know your career and what you've done. But I remember that. So my dad, so Fred, my dad went to Clemson. I grew up going to Clemson football games, basketball games, and then we moved quite a bit. And so in high school, we were living in Michigan and I actually didn't get accepted to Clemson. Do you remember that? I petitioned. Yeah.
Fred (08:37.25)
I remember that, yeah. Yep.
Erin Diehl (08:39.409)
I did not take no for an answer. I had letters of recommendation sent from teachers. I wrote this really strong essay about why I should go. And if I didn't go there, I would never know John, my now husband. I would never have danced probably at Michigan State. Clemson was just this, I just felt called to go there. But I could see that being a moment where you probably,
We're surprised and thinking about your own career. So tell the improvement peeps a little bit of background because you're retired as of August of 2023. But what did you do prior to that?
Fred (09:10.53)
Very surprised, yeah.
Fred (09:19.65)
retirement.
Fred (09:24.514)
worked on, I don't know, a while in, I had an undergraduate in accounting. I worked in accounting for, I don't know, 15 years. Got into operations management, moved to Detroit in operations, actually purchased my own appliance service business in 2010, and owned that for 13 years, and sold that in really June of 23.
retired at the end of July. So I've been retired almost a year now. So it's and always, especially in operations end, I mean, I was managing up to 1500, 2000 employees in multiple locations. It's it taxes your leadership ability.
Erin Diehl (10:10.481)
Yeah. And when I was younger, you traveled a lot. Like you were in India, China. When I was growing up in Michigan in high school, especially you were traveling all the time. So I really did grow up watching you lead people and be a leader. And not only were you a leader at work, but you were very actively involved in your church and you have tons of peer groups and outside networks.
So I think I got my business acumen from you and I got my creativeness from mom.
Fred (10:48.514)
Probably, yep. You didn't get the business acumen from her. Nope. Yep. Yep. Yep.
Erin Diehl (10:49.873)
Yeah, because it sure did not. I surely did not. I did not. I know who to call with what problem. I've got you both picked. So, okay, I want to ask you this and I think a lot of parents listening because this episode is coming out around Father's Day, Dad, and your birthday. It's actually coming out on your birthday. So happy birthday. So how would you say you encouraged my independence?
Fred (11:08.962)
Okay, no members, wow, okay. Thank you.
Erin Diehl (11:19.761)
while also ensuring that I respected rules and boundaries.
Fred (11:25.986)
made you face the consequences for your decisions. There are always consequences. Yeah, you can do that, Aaron, but if it doesn't work out, this is what you're gonna have to do. Remember the grade fiasco at Clemson?
Erin Diehl (11:37.105)
Yep.
Erin Diehl (11:41.937)
yeah, well you can tell them. Tell them Prove It Peeps don't know.
Fred (11:43.33)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. After we finally relented and sent Erin to Clemson and paid out of state tuition when we lived in South Carolina for 30 something years, her first semester grades didn't turn out so well. So I told her on the way home if she didn't get her grades up, no first semester, yeah. At Christmas I told her on the way home if she didn't get her grades up she was gonna go to Michigan State.
So she made the Dean's List the rest of the way, right?
Erin Diehl (12:14.785)
yeah, I graduated with a 3 .8 in my major. And honors, yes, after that, but I literally freshman year first semester kept my books in a garbage can and I barely, like I literally kept them in a trash can and I barely opened them. It was a lot of new found freedom and I had a lot of fun. I'm not gonna lie, but I also, you were, you know, and I had student loans. Gratefully, you and mom did help with my college tuition, but I did.
Fred (12:35.074)
What are you doing?
Erin Diehl (12:42.577)
also have the consequence of I'm going to have to pay back these loans. And if I don't, I started to actually do the math of what every class cost. And I realized if I didn't show up, it was like 85 bucks. So that got me well. So I think that's that's a good thing. So what are top what are if you could name three top leadership lessons?
Fred (12:56.385)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Erin Diehl (13:11.345)
that you learned from parenting a strong -willed child, what would they make?
Fred (13:16.834)
Listening is one, okay? You have to listen. You have to be able to listen to see what their point of view is rather than just shutting them out. I think the biggest, and it's, I think with you,
Erin Diehl (13:21.713)
Okay, what about listening?
Fred (13:36.354)
When you were upset, it was worthless to try to reason with you. I could give you five minutes to settle down and go have a sane conversation with you. So I think allowing the strong will child room to vent, okay? And I think that's true even with employees. I've let employees vent, then gone ahead and walk around the block with them and had a sane conversation with them.
Third one is setting parameters. I think you have to know what the consequences are up front and hold the employee or the child accountable. Did you think I would send you to make your transfer to Michigan State? Okay, yeah.
Erin Diehl (14:18.353)
Yes, I did. I did. You even talked to my best friend, Betsy, who was going there and told her to open up her futon because I was coming. Yeah, I did. I did. Well, and I think all of that makes sense from a leadership perspective. Listening is huge. And if people don't feel listening to, they don't feel engaged.
Fred (14:24.194)
huh.
Fred (14:28.45)
Yep. Yep.
Erin Diehl (14:40.849)
Similarly to myself as a child being parented, I definitely felt like I needed to be heard. And I will say you and mom did a great job of that. The second one was walking people around the block, giving them space to vent, right? So allowing them to settle down. I do think, for example, that is a great example of what happened to me this morning. John is out of town for work. Jackson was very...
into his feelings and it was a rough morning. I just was trying, I was trying to work out while he was listening to his Tony box. He tried to yell at me while I was holding really heavy weights and I yelled at him like I didn't really want to yell at him but I was in the middle of holding these heavy weights and I yelled at him and he started bawling crying and I felt horrible like so bad and I apologized.
And then he calmed down and we talked about it. But I did give him that space to talk about it. And then I had to give myself literally a walk around the block because I needed to come back to my own center because I was so emotional that I made him that upset. And then the third thing that you mentioned is the parameters or the expectations. And I remember you and I talking about this early in my leadership career.
I couldn't be mad at a team member if they did something wrong if I never set the right expectation.
Fred (16:14.082)
Exactly. People don't come to work expecting to screw up.
Erin Diehl (16:18.545)
Right, so I've learned that. I think that was a really good lesson that a lot of people can take with them. So, okay, let me ask you this. How did you balance being a parent and also a leader at work, especially when your strong -willed child was pushing boundaries?
Fred (16:39.17)
that's a good question. Probably not so well sometimes. But, well, I tell the story. I, and I, and I regret not having any toddler experiences to share, but, I remember when you, I don't know how old you were. And when we were down in Tifton, Georgia, you were 11, 12, and you weren't getting along with mom and me very well. And that's when I went to Stephen Covey.
and I learned to, I went to a three day seminar outside Boston and started, I think it was 1994, 95, started doing my scheduling every Sunday night and his theory is to schedule the big rocks first. If you schedule the big things and if you don't get to some small things, that's fine, but a big rock for me then was my relationship with you. So remember we had a lot of happy meals together. I went to eat lunch with you.
almost every Saturday because I scheduled travel, I scheduled work around having that lunch with you. And I ate so many happy meals it's pathetic. So, but it was, I scheduled travel around, I pretty much controlled my travel schedule, but I'd be home Friday night to go have lunch with you on Saturday.
Erin Diehl (17:59.857)
Thanks, Dad. I have a lot of raisinettes, you know, those little figurines you get in the Happy Meals because I don't have them anymore. But I do. I appreciate that. And I will say I was definitely just for everyone on the record, I was a horrible preteen. Horrible. Horrible. I was horrible. And I had, shocking to no one, a sassy mouth and...
Fred (18:04.834)
Mm -hmm.
Fred (18:24.898)
Yeah!
Erin Diehl (18:28.689)
And I also had some poor friend choices at that time. So I would dare to say I was somewhat bullied by my best friend.
Fred (18:38.626)
Yep, and you throw in the strong -wheel piece of that either and you don't want anything to do with mom.
Erin Diehl (18:44.273)
Yeah. So if you're listening and you have a preteen or even like an early teenager, tell them it gets better, dad.
Fred (18:52.482)
They do come back. They'll hold your hand for a while, then they won't walk on the same side of the street with you, and they will come back. So.
Erin Diehl (18:54.033)
Okay.
Erin Diehl (19:02.673)
And now you're in Charleston and they moved to Charleston. Yep. And so they do come back literally and you come to them. Look at that. Look at that. Okay. So let me ask you this. How did parenting a strong willed child help you in your leadership roles?
Fred (19:04.514)
Yeah, too close.
Fred (19:09.73)
Yep, yep, yep.
Fred (19:24.962)
Hmm. It, early in, I mean, before I started managing manufacturing locations, believe it or not, Aaron, when I was in accounting, I would have seven or eight salary clerical people. I had a lot of trouble giving negative feedback. A lot of trouble. I could give all the positive in the world, but giving negative feedback, having you solve that.
Erin Diehl (19:53.393)
Thank you, Dad.
Fred (19:54.978)
No, but I mean, it great, I mean, you have to be able to do it as a parent in a loving, you can give negative feedback in a positive manner. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah.
Erin Diehl (20:04.465)
Yeah, I have I have trouble with that too. I really did. In the beginning of my career, I was super people -pleasy. I didn't want anybody, especially owning in private, like I didn't want anyone to not like me. I wanted everybody to talk positively, but that only gets you so far. And people respect you more when you actually are able to help them.
Fred (20:10.658)
Mm -hmm.
Fred (20:23.33)
Where the what?
It's unfair to the employee. They need to know positively and negatively what's going on. Feedback. Exactly. Yes. And there's a way to communicate with Jackson by not yelling at him this morning. And there's a way to communicate, same way with employees. You don't need to yell back at employees, but you can communicate with them.
Erin Diehl (20:33.073)
Yeah, and I think that goes for parenting as well.
Yeah.
Erin Diehl (20:46.385)
Yes.
Erin Diehl (20:53.489)
Yeah, I felt horrible about that. Well, cause I had my headphones on, he had his headphones on and I just yelled like, don't talk to me while I'm holding heavy weights. And then he just went, brrraaah. And the rest is history. And then I felt like the worst parent in the world for approximately two hours. And then I went for a walk and I got over it. All right, well, okay. Let me ask you this. What advice would you give?
Fred (20:55.426)
Yep. Yep.
Erin Diehl (21:21.041)
to any leader listening today about managing strong -willed team members.
Fred (21:28.13)
Listen, set parameters, hold them accountable, give them feedback, negative and positive. They need both. They probably need more positive than negative. But the negative needs to be handled in a positive manner with them. But you can't let them set their own, they'll run all over you. You need to let them set their own parameter. Or no, you don't need to let them set their own parameters. You need to be very clear expectations.
and you need to follow up with them.
Erin Diehl (22:01.585)
Yep, Brene Brown said, clear as kind. And I use that a lot. Yeah, clear as kind. Okay. Now.
Fred (22:05.186)
Yep, exactly. Yep, clear as kind. It's only fair to both parties.
Erin Diehl (22:12.593)
I agree with that. And I have learned that because I have learned, well, there's the book Radical Candor, which I love, which we've had Kim Scott on this show twice, the author of that book. Praise in public, criticize in private, and also give feedback when feedback is due. Don't wait because the longer you wait, the less impactful it will be. That has been really hard for me as a leader because I also...
hate confrontation and conflict. I want the world to be happy, but it can only be happy if all expectations are met and communication is clear. So I'm with you.
Fred (22:53.918)
Both parties have to be satisfied, yes.
Erin Diehl (22:56.625)
Yes, yes, and if you're clear and kind with your feedback, you expect the same from your team. Honestly, if you don't, and we've had somebody on the show, I can't remember which guest said it, but they said, if you're not getting feedback from your team, you have a culture problem. So.
Fred (23:12.194)
Alright, well I go back to my Stephen Covey days, but I've had several, what they call 360 degree feedback. He calls that the breakfast of champions. When you get feedback from your employees, from your peers, from your boss, it's pretty humbling.
Erin Diehl (23:23.537)
Yeah.
Erin Diehl (23:31.282)
That's right, that's right. And I, every six months, my team and I do that. I give, we do a review of them and they do a review of me. And that's how change has happened in this organization because I've been given the feedback I've been given. So, okay, if you could go back in time, dad, what is one thing you would do differently in terms of leading and parenting me?
Fred (23:56.77)
man.
Erin Diehl (23:58.417)
I can't wait for this. I'm going to record this on my phone to send to my brother.
Fred (24:04.994)
One thing I would have done differently, steered you in a better direction, and probably set better direction with your choice of friends that you were talking about. Put the hammer, yep, put the hammer down, and it would have been a war. It would have been a war. But I think you learned that this took a couple of years to learn. It was a hard lesson to learn, but there was a lot of damage done in the two years, let's say.
Erin Diehl (24:16.337)
in middle school.
Erin Diehl (24:21.169)
Yeah.
Erin Diehl (24:34.545)
Yeah, and I'll give context to that. I'm not afraid to do that. So we lived in Tifton, Georgia at the time. I was in middle school, about sixth and seventh grade to be exact. And I had some friends who lived close to our home who went to school with me, who were very bad influences, who I partook in alcoholic beverages with at a young age.
Might have had a cigarette or two. Dad knows this. I'm not giving him anything he doesn't know. And also just made poor choices. I was mean to people because of her. She was horrible to me. She called me Pinocchio because she said I had a big nose and she made everybody on the bus go, Pinocchio, Pinocchio, does your nose grow? She took things of mine and tried to ruin them and called me on the phone to tell me she was ruining them. She was a very not kind person and I wish her well.
today, but ultimately that I'm sure as a parent was very hard to witness. And it was really hard for me because I knew this wasn't the right type of person. And I did correct myself when our middle school joined with the other middle school in junior high, my other friend and I left this toxic person and created some new friendships. And it was really great. That was actually really a great blessing. Yes.
Fred (25:54.306)
Yep. It was a rough two or three years there, yep.
Erin Diehl (25:59.377)
But you know, also you're right, it would have been a war because she was like everything to me at that time, you know? So I get it. I hope I don't have to face that. I might.
Fred (26:10.69)
We did have a spy spying on you the next door, yeah. Yep.
Erin Diehl (26:13.969)
I know, you've told me, but she didn't know it all dad, just so you know. Okay, all right. Yep, yep, it wasn't great, it wasn't great. Okay, so let me do this. This is called Minute to Win It, Add and Prove It. I'm gonna ask you a series of questions in a minute, and in a minute, I want you to give me either one or two word answers, and we're gonna see how many of these seven questions you can answer. Are you ready, dad?
Fred (26:18.946)
I know it. I know, I know, I know. You knew enough? Okay.
Fred (26:41.086)
Okay. I'm always ready, Aaron.
Erin Diehl (26:43.889)
All right, here we go. Okay, your favorite book.
Fred (26:48.354)
7 Habits to Highly Effective People.
Erin Diehl (26:50.929)
Best television show.
Fred (26:52.834)
man
Erin Diehl (26:54.641)
I knew that. Best podcast you've ever listened to and besides your daughters, which you've never listened to.
Fred (27:00.162)
Beside my daughter, it was a Stephen Covey podcast on speed of trust.
Erin Diehl (27:09.361)
Okay, song that makes you cry.
Fred (27:11.938)
Lord.
Erin Diehl (27:13.137)
Ha ha ha ha!
Fred (27:18.018)
I don't know. I saw your brown, the one with the little boy leaves on.
Erin Diehl (27:23.057)
Cats in the cradle.
Fred (27:24.962)
Yeah, use that one.
Erin Diehl (27:26.225)
Okay, all right. And then if you weren't retired, what your dream job of all time would be?
Fred (27:31.938)
My dream job of all time would be, I don't know, probably be like an athletic director at a university or like sports information, something in sports.
Erin Diehl (27:45.873)
Bang, bang, bang, time is up. Good job, dad, you got them all. And I'm sure that that sports team would not be Clemson University. Not at all, not at all. Just so you know, my dad is like a diehard Clemson fan. They go to every home game. He was in the band. I was the rally cat. And then also fun fact, my brother went to Clemson, my younger brother, my husband, and his younger sister and her husband.
Fred (27:48.962)
man.
Fred (27:54.306)
no not at all no not at all no
Erin Diehl (28:14.961)
and his older brother all went to Clemson. And my sister -in -law, my brother's sister, or my brother's wife, Shelly, went to Clemson. So we're a big Clemson family. Okay, now let me ask you this. This is a question we ask all of our guests. What is your it? We say it and prove it. Your it is your purpose, that thing that you do, that you were put here on this earth to do. Fred Holbrook, what is your it?
Fred (28:23.17)
Yep.
Fred (28:42.754)
to give back.
Erin Diehl (28:45.649)
to who?
Fred (28:46.882)
to society. I mean, I gave through my job. We were very charity -oriented. But I mean, my work with the church was not for me, it was for giving back to the good of the world. Servant leaders, you may have it, yeah. It took me a while to learn that, but you're a servant first.
Erin Diehl (29:02.289)
That's right, Dad. Servant leaders.
Erin Diehl (29:11.761)
That's right. Okay, and then final question. How are you going to improve it today?
Fred (29:19.106)
I am gonna complete that, no I'm not gonna complete, I'm gonna continue setting up our house. We just moved two weeks ago. So we've still got, I won't use that word, we still have boxes all over the place. So I'm gonna try to make a bigger dent in it today, okay?
Erin Diehl (29:25.809)
Yep.
Erin Diehl (29:34.609)
Who hoped you set up your kitchen though?
Fred (29:37.122)
John. Jackson, yep. The kitchen has your fingerprints all over it, yes. Everything is in the same place it is at your house, so it's easy for me to find. Yep.
Erin Diehl (29:39.729)
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Erin Diehl (29:47.857)
That's right. It's very organized.
Erin Diehl (29:53.585)
There you go. There you go. Okay, Dad. Well, if anybody wants to connect with you because you're going to be famous after this, where can they find you?
Fred (30:00.514)
I'm sure.
Facebook, Instagram, email, phone, call Erin, call Erin, call Erin, she can get in touch with me. Yep.
Erin Diehl (30:09.937)
Okay, what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna, yes, connect with me on info at Learn to Improve It and I will copy you into my dad. If you have questions on leading a strong willed child.
Fred (30:21.602)
And I am doing a little consulting these days, so I would not mind doing that.
Erin Diehl (30:27.697)
Okay, okay everyone, you've heard it here first and he uses a lot of the Stephen Covey principles in the consulting mostly in the What space dad what what industry?
Fred (30:33.314)
Yep, yep, yep.
Fred (30:40.962)
Mostly in manufacturing and service industry.
Erin Diehl (30:44.785)
Yep, Fred Holbrook, he is four higher at his retired rate. Okay, well, dad, I'm glad you were on the show. I feel like we talked a lot, we got through a lot of things. If you're listening to this show and you have a strong -willed child, what is one final thing that you wanna tell them to do today?
Fred (30:49.314)
Yep.
Fred (30:53.922)
Glad to do it.
Fred (31:09.206)
Don't go to war with them. Every battle is not worth the war. You pick your battles, but there are hard lines, but most of them you can negotiate. But set the parameters at the same time.
Erin Diehl (31:26.929)
Namaste. Okay. Dad, Fred Holbrook, it's been real. Talk to you soon. I'll call you in a minute.
Fred (31:28.194)
Yep. All right.
Fred (31:35.81)
Okay, bye.
Erin Diehl (31:38.481)
Hold on Ted, don't hang up.